so what the fuck would you do if you had invincible hands and digestive system?

[screwdriverqueen]

okay, so toby and i went to the spider gates cemetery.

this is one of the legends:

"It is the trail leading from the graveyard to the brook in which there are supposed to be seven gateways, possibly consisting of various natural landmarks like tree stumps, roots, and jutting rocks. Passing through them in sequence is supposed to lead one not to the brook, but to the banks of the famed River Styx; river of the dead. Drinking of the waters is bad news, maybe even death."

so of course, we went to the river styx. and of course, we drank it. my ass will probably explode from diarrhea at some point, but i say that water was really good. better than poland springs, which isn't that fantastic anyhow.

anyhow, according to greek mythology, you don't DIE if you drink from the river styx, but if you immerse your body in it, you become invincible like achilles.

so basically, we both have invincible hands. (actually, toby has ONE invincible hand. i had to drink from it all cinematically with two hands.) and possibly, we have invincible digestive systems too.

so what is there to do with invincible hands and an invincible digestive system? i can't think of anything, but i am reminded of "karate kid" for some reason.

suggestions, please.

 

[screwdriverqueen]

ps - check out toby with the GAYORBS!

we got a few orb pics, actually!

he's going to kill me for posting this. oh well, here it is.

and check this out. me in front of the RIVER STYX!

 

[FuSoYa]

Well, when I got home, one thing I did to check and see if my hand was invincible was reach into our snake tank and see if I could grab the python without getting bitten.

The motherfucker shied away from my hand as if it was coated with pig bile and hid in the corner! Usually he would have chomped right into it, but I'm sure that because of the Stygian protective sphere he knew not to even chance it lest he break all his teeth and quite possibly suffer a throat embolism!

After this I went to go practice guitar, and thanks to the River Styx, I was able to chain-riff so fast that I broke my low E string!

Whoa!

 

[screwdriverqueen]

holy shit. toby, your hand really is invincible.

i'm just waiting for cool suggestions as to what to do with my invincible hands, but all anyone will tell me is "cut them off" or "eat them." and i'm confused as to whether this means that they will regenerate like a starfish or what. and no severed hand recipes were provided.

 

[FuSoYa]

What might be really cool is if you get a pickup truck or something and lay on your stomach in the back, facing out towards the road. And you have somebody hold your feet so you can reach your hand down to touch the street while the driver of the truck races along at upwards of 80 mph. So your hand will be dragging along the road.


This might sound useless now, but it'll definitely come in handy later.

heeh ee

 

[screwdriverqueen]

woah, shredded hands.

my mother shreds daikon sometimes on this grate.
this sounds complex here, toby. i don't know about that one.

everyone assumes that my hands will regenerate. only one way to find out!

 

[XzanderX]

THERE IS NO RIVER STYX IN BOSTON (or wherever you live)! geeeeez, guys, it's not like you live in the ancient greece.

 

[FuSoYa]

well, at least appreciate the pun!

 

[XzanderX]

I could tell you this... I first thought it said "invisible hands and digestive system", that would have been pretty kickass!!!

 

[screwdriverqueen]

SHUT UP!

it's one of the 7 gateways to hell. of course the river styx is in leicester, MA.

the internet told me so.

 

[XzanderX]

GAS MASKED!

 

[avi]

why isn't this a poll post?

 

[xfer]

Invincible hands, but not wrists; ok, so you cut off your hand above the margin of invulnerability, and you sell it to the military for US$50 million so they can incorporate it into their armour technology. I'd rather have $50 million than my left hand.

 

[minxnim]

i think it's possible for massachusetts to have the river styx. they have all sorts of other creppy stuff, so why not? new york has amityville (sp?)

anyway. i think you should try eating like 20 bowls of cap'n crunch (with crunchberries obviously) and see if your digestive system is really invincible. i mean, eat them all at once.
and
slap a cross dress across the face and see if they're nasty make up sticks to your hand or not.

these are good tests.

 

[xfer]

hmm, imagine if you were watching Bush speak on CNN, and suddenly there is a crackle of gunfire and Bush's jacket balloons out in shreds right over his heart and he goes over backwards, and while the Secret Service is tackling Johnny Arab or whomever, the camera zooms to Bush, who leaps to his feet, smiling and waving, and draws from inside his jacket...your severed hand.

I would feel creeped out, glad that my hand got some use I guess, but strangely guilty as well. Then I would see Cheney in the background and feel glad again.

 

[minxnim]

that is so on point.

 

[FuSoYa]

brilliant.

 

[screwdriverqueen]

hahaahaha!

that is magnificent.