Something about OPETH and the ladies...


gazing into the deep
May 4, 2001
Echo Park
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I was wondering....I have often heard OPETH referred to as being more 'female-friendly' than a lot of metal bands. My roommate even calls them Bed Bath and Beyond metal :rolleyes:. There are lots of bands that could be deemed romantic or sensitive, MY DYING BRIDE, ANATHEMA, ON THORNS I LAY, SATURNUS, to name a few. So, what is it about OPETH that incites people to berate them? One of my theories is that since OPETH's music is extremely emotional some men may have a tendency to feel like their masculinity is being threatened because they have to acknowledge that those feelings (of sensitivity, love, wistfulness, loss, etc.) do exist. Or, are they just jealous? It also seems like this a recent phenomenon that has come up since BWP was released and OPETH have gotten more press than for their previous albums. Your thoughts?
I'd say it's what George Carlin calls "Dick Fear".

The people who call Opeth gay and draw all the connections to femininity are just simultaneously afraid of emotion and worried that one of the members of Opeth might have a larger penis than them. Pretty standard male psychology... leads to wars, fights, male strutting and posturing, and yes, berating. It goes like this: "What, they have bigger dicks? Bomb them!/Punch them!/Berate them!"
I'm not embarrassed by Opeth's "sensitive side", I find their dispalys of emotion to be extremely inspiring, although I did remove the "I will always love you" part from the passage in Nectar when using it as a signature on the Maiden BB...
I don't think I have ever seen anyone dislike Opeth because they are a more sensitive and emotional band then most. This is actually the first time I have heard of anything like that. It doesn't sound right because Opeth is a lot more brutal than most bands. Thats the main reason I have noticed people don't like Opeth is because they aren't used to the growling vocals.
The only comments I've heard of Opeth (Internet aside) have been "Opeth? What's that?" and "It's the most amazing stuff I've ever heard!". Nothing like "it's gay" or such nonsense.

I'll sign Triste's theory, though ("One of my theories is that since Opeth's music is extremely emotional some men may have a tendency to feel like their masculinity is being threatened because they have to acknowledge those feelings") without a second thought. In my opinion among males it's usually thought to be "weak" or "gay" or whatever to cry or feel overly emotional.
...only a REAL nancy would disguise their passion! (insert sheep bleeting noise here, baah, baah)
Seriously though!
How good is every single piece of music?
I am ready to explode!
BANG! eewwwww.....(squelch, squish)
OPETH is an emotional band.
Deep emotions and thoughts elevate men from pure bestiality.
OPETH music is not for beasts (yet instinctive).
Only beasts would say OPETH is a gay, or feminine, or whatever you want, band.
Well, on the feminine perspective, heaps of my male friends deem OPETH as "gay" or "weak" because i, being a female, listen to them ....but i just brush it away and remind myself of HoserHellSpawn's comment on George Carlin's theory of "dick fear"'s basically the only explanation i can think of......ive never really met another opeth fan other than one of my friends, but i imagine the experience full of thought-provoking conversations and lots of talk of none-other than opeth......if only we could build an isolated island solely designated for "opethians"....oh think of it now.............
Originally posted by Demonspell
Opeth...the thinking man's extreme metal!

Amen brother!! Geez Demonspell, I could've used that quote for my reviews now that I think about it. :lol: Glad you enjoyed them BTW, and thanks for what you said about the site- we certainly try our best.

Where's your site? I'd like to check it out.


Chris L.
These are all interesting notions. I would've hoped the understanding that feminine or gay does not equal weak had reached a wider audience by now though. Oh well..

Is 'gay' an derogatory term for everyone in the u.s or does it just seem like that?
my apologies for being this picky on 1 sentence out of all of what you are saying (and its hard for me to word all this because i know your message isnt sexist and that you probably arent either-and that this is really not even the topic of what your talking about) but something bothers me about that statement:

I have often heard OPETH referred to as being more 'female-friendly' than a lot of metal bands.

i just think anyone who would bother to label a bands music 'female friendly' is a fool. and metal girls are metal girls. some chick into R&B isnt going to randomly be like "wow, this band opeth really understands sensitivity and wistfulness! im selling my al green and getting some opeth! its the female-friendly metal!" haha. i dont know...i just dont think its important at all, what sex a band possibly appeals to. statements like that are uneccassary, and i would get female friendly and kick anyone i heard saying something like that!

Is 'gay' an derogatory term for everyone in the u.s or does it just seem like that?

YES it pretty much is a derogatory term for everyone in the u.s.! its sad. = (
evisceratrix.....i fully agree with you that it matters not what gender any band appeals to....there a absolutely no limits.....but i am just curious about your statement "metal girls are metal girls".....are you for or against that....just curious....:D
"Gay." It's actually pretty much buried in socially acceptable western vernacular, now, which is sad. I've heard very intelligent, respectible, sensitive people say things like "So they fired you? That's gay!"

From "happy" to "homosexual" to all-purpose "bad". It's unfortunate.

The other interesting slang trend I've noticed is the association with things that are bad to blowjobs. Think about it... when something is not good what do you say about it? You say it "sucks" it "blows" it "licks" I've heard people say "that swallows". Wake up, guys! Do you realize the subliminal message we're giving off here? These words should be associated with things that are good! I mean, what nicer thing can you do for somebody than give them an orgasm? Does anyone else see the inherent stupidity within this lingual trend?

Heh... all off-topic, but just something I've noticed.