Steve Albini's tea boy writes in!

Andy Sneap

Metal Guru
Apr 17, 2002
2,713
4
38
54
at home
andysneap.com
My good buddy Dirk aka adrenalize@canada.com has reached out with the following good wishes and praise.

I'd like us all to raise a beer to Dirk whilst we're in the pub and he's cleaning the oxide off the heads for the third time today and learning to splice.

Here goes.

What's the problem, don't know how to operate analog
equipment?
Can't afford analog tape machines?
ProTools simply too convenient?

PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT'S UNHOLY...STOP USING
SAMPLED AND TRIGGERED DRUMS!!! STOP SYNCHRONIZING ALL THE
DRUM BEATS TO MAKE IT SOUND LIKE A DRUM MACHINE!!!!!

I can not express in words how much I sincerely detest and
hate the sound of your ProTooled recordings and mixes.
ProTools is responsible for 99% of all heavy metal albums
sounding exactly the same.

ProTools is responsible for 99% of all heavy metal sounding
sterile, lifeless, one-dimensional, cold, brittle and
mechanical...like a robot went into the studio and recorded
it.

Recorded, engineered, mixed, edited and mastered by Andy
Sneap eh? Fucking eh you don't even bother sending your shit
to a real mastering engineer anymore. Just shove the music
into a digital compressor and call it mastering.

Digital is unsuitable for recording music. Analog systems
can do anything I ask of them (there is no "need" to "go
digital"). I have no anti-digital bias, I just have no need
for digital recording, and I allow myself to make fun of it.

Digital systems inevitably become unuseable because the
greater computer industry changes everything about the
computer it requires, making old files and software
incompatible.

Analog systems can be repaired much easier than digital
ones, and anything that lasts long enough in a studio will
break.

Analog systems hold their value (even those that have
depreciated recently, like multitrack tape machines) much
better than computers, which is an important business
consideration. If we were to tro to maintain the quality and
capacity we have at Electrical Audio using digital systems,
we would have to charge substantially more to pay for the
loss of value of the equipment itself, and you as a client
would be getting less security for your money.

Whenever I see "produced by Andy Sneap" or "mixed by Andy
Sneap" on the back cover of a CD I immediately know not to
buy it...because it's always the same digitally manipulated
SHIT.

I feel sorry for all those bands stupid and braindead enough
to have something recorded, mixed and GOD FORBID...mastered
by you.

Digitally yours,

Dirk Diggler
 
What a turd burglar... without even addressing the fact that his statements are mostly incorrect, there are so many inconsistencies within the e-mail (sometimes within a line or two of each other) that I'm not even going to bother pointing any of them out. It's people like that that call themselves "engineers" that give the rest of us a bad name. Asshat.
 
i agree about what the dude said about sterililty / triggered drums and making it sound like a drum machine

but that's the whole reason why i love metal cds done like that ! fucking wish the drummmers i recorded sounded like a drum machine or if i had beat detective to fucken tighten up shitty drummer !!!
 
This guy's afraid that all his favorite bands are going to be eventually mixed, produced by Andy therefore leaving him with nothing new to listen to.

THE END OF THE WORLD IS COMING!!!!!!!
AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :eek: :devil:
 
Andy Sneap said:
GOD FORBID...mastered
by you.

You mastered God Forbid? :loco:

Well since I love to argue...ahem I mean debate, I may just write your pseudo-antagonist for a little fun.

Maybe he should degauss his rectum.
 
i just emailed him this:

"i am very interested in hearing some of your analog recordings. please send me links or information on how i can obtain copies of some of your productions. thanks in advance

jfm"

this will undoubtedly result in no reply. what an asswipe.
 
I like robots. I want to hear a robot production

7h47 w0u1d b3 7h3 w1n.

Fucking idiots man... why even bother to voice your uncalled for opinion? I may as well email the Backstreet Boys and tell them their music sucks... fucking pointless morons.

Cease breathing. Thanks.

J
 
I totoaly agree with him. Analog is still the be all end all of everything. I mean come on you cant push digital to the point of that GOOD TAPE SATURATION !!!!

Digital is for pussies afraid of razors and cutting their fingers .......

""WHACK""

Sorry had to smash my brain in with a 2 x 4 there for a sec ... i turned into my dad ...

FUCK ANALOG !!!!

Long live the SNEAPERISER

sneaperiser.gif