the goatsblood review at metal-rules (dreamlord, npearce, NAD, don't read this!)

Black Winter Day

Black Winter Day

Member
Apr 10, 2002
8,181
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Nordland (of Carolina)
www.royalcarnage.com
Ohmigod, this is fucking awful. I can't even get over how horrible this is. Why anyone would even put this to wax, nevermind plastic, gets me depressed, and makes my head hurt. Hailing from Canada, these untalented doofuses seem to think that screaming at the top of your lungs and drenching your doomsludge shlock in feedback is the best way to create good music. Guess someone forgot to tell them theye were wrong.



Speaking of wrong, everything about this godforsaken CD is wrong. From the shit production job of Steve Austin (Today is the Gay...oops, there I go again! I mean, Today is the DAY. Sorry, boys!), to the shit performances by the musicians, DRULL is alltogether just a shit sandwich, with a nice thick gooey layer on top for those mental deficients who actually enjoy this sort of feces-put-to-music.



I mean, for one, Steve Austin needs to stop producing bands AT ONCE. I have never, ever heard a production job from him that didn't sound like a my worst case of swamp-ass. Plus, his band sucks their own share of ass, to boot. The fact that Today Is The Day is still around makes me sad, and certain that there is no god.



However, this review isn't about TITD. it's about ths monstrosity known as Goatsblood, and this trainwreck of an lp. Not that even an Abyss Studios production could save the "music" set down here on DRULL, far from it. Goatsblood seems to love to wallow in that vacuum bands get in when they run out of ideas for rockin' tunes, and decide to pepper their songs with inane, disjointed riffs that go nowhere, and lay down a bunch of incoherent vocal drivel on top of it.



Not that I'm totally surprised either with this abortion gone wrong, given Willowtip's penchant for releasing only the crappiest of the crappy two-cent grind/doom acts(save the Leng Tch'e cd, which HAD to be a fluke) it can find. I think I'm just offended that this style of music still exists, and that there are still people that might find some enjoyment in this. I mean, haven't these people caught A.I.D.S yet, or something? Only an asshole still listens to the Melvins or Eyehategod, and only an asshole would listen to this, as well.

1/5
 
Yes. Metal-Rules sucks at reviewing. They also rate Blind Guardian as the most important metal band ever. Period.

Anyway, Tipton from Willowtip was just telling me how he sends promos to Metal Rules and the never get reviewed. He said he is going to send them to me instead. I guess we won't see any more of these unbiased reviews from Metal Rules anymore. It's very unprofessional when all your review does is make fun of bands and people you don't understand. At least Papa Josh still told us about the music in his review.
 
npearce said:
Yes. Metal-Rules sucks at reviewing. They also rate Blind Guardian as the most important metal band ever. Period.
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I think Blind Guardian are exceptional, but most important? No, that would be Sabbath if you had to nail it. There is way too much bias on Power Metal at metal rules (Primal Fear = 5/5??), they should just keep to doing traditional or power metal articles.

Anyway, Tipton from Willowtip was just telling me how he sends promos to Metal Rules and the never get reviewed. He said he is going to send them to me instead. I guess we won't see any more of these unbiased reviews from Metal Rules anymore.
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Is he not sending them because they're not getting done, or because they're being given crap scores? They did review Rune quite generously (although compared them to Opeth and Messhugah, heh).

It's very unprofessional when all your review does is make fun of bands and people you don't understand. At least Papa Josh still told us about the music in his review.
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Either way, don't forget Royal Carnage has a second review for Goatsblood by NAD...maybe that's what Metal Rules should consider doing - two reviews with different perspectives.

Having said that, they gave both their Sham Mirrors reviews a 2/5 and 2.5/5 respectively, but people like Dreamlord probably wouldn't disagree so it all depends I guess.
 
Yes, that review is terrible. Didn't explain the music, just said "it sucks because it sucks." Josh did a bit of that as well, but he did explain the music a bit. My main problem was the terribly low score he gave it, which is why I did my own review. :)

Willowtip is probably my favorite label right now, even the stuff that isn't great (Watchmaker, Sadis Euphoria) is still a LOT better than most other drivel being released lately.
 
Willowtip is the best label around right now, and Watchmaker has the best album of the year. Hopefully you will keep listening to Watchmaker, NAD. They keep getting better and better. They're like getting addicted to huffing paint or something. You know it's not right, but damn it feels good!
 
JayKeeley said:
Are you serious??? *chokes on breakfast*

From what I've heard, I would say the most exciting label this year so far has been Code 666.
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*Blows nose, wipes ass with toilet paper sticks it between two slices of bread and hands to JayKeeley*

That fucking label has got to be the most overrated shitsnot sandwich of 2003...

Atrox.... what did I ever do to you? Music good, chick's vocals.... I'm at a loss for words, so I'll just say not so good.

It's my own fault, in my weed induced stupor I had forgotten that I had previously heard this group when they were still signed to Season Of Mist.

Absolutely dreadful.
 
Papa Josh said:
That fucking label has got to be the most overrated shitsnot sandwich of 2003...
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NAD has a bunch of 2003 code 666 promos in the works: Thee Maldoror Collective, Aborym, and Konkhra. Let's see what he makes of them...

You had Atrox - ok you didn't like it, but you also have Handful of Hate which you thought was ok. That review goes up tonight.

Code 666 came out of nowhere for me and introduced me to: Negura Bunget, Manes, and Ephel Duath. And lots of people have been praising Unmoored and Aborym's latest too.

I'm just presenting the facts man, the facts of my own opinions.
 
I like Code666 for the most part. Some of the promos I've recieved from them are great . . . others are OK. Aborym is one of my favorite bands, though. Negura and Manes are 2 of the best releases of the year.
 
Yeah code666 is pretty cool, but Willowtip has several bands that make me stand up and say "god damn..." Goatsblood and Leng T'che are just great, two of my favorite extreme albums to come out for a long time.

Manes and Negura are awesome, but Ephel Duath is pretty overrated (I do like them though), especially considering they SERIOUSLY copped Nuclear Rabbit's style. And those two singers are fucking terrible, I once read a comparison of the clean vocalist to John Wetton (former King Crimson vocalist/bassist, and in my top 10 for both instruments) and I almost puked.

But yeah, no label is perfect. :)
 
I have the code666 sampler, "Better Undead than Alice" and it's very good for a compilation.

Other than the obvious few, such as Manes and Negura, I have to admit that the unreleased Aborym track, "Digital Goat Mask" is really good. Can't wait for NAD's review of the album.
 
Today is the Gay...oops, there I go again! I mean, Today is the DAY. Sorry, boys!
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HAHAHAH LOLLERZ HE MAEd TEH FUNAY THATS ALMOST AS FUNAY AS: "CRADLE OF FAGS" OR "DORK TRENDQUILLITY" LOL or "DUMMY BURGAR" lol im liek rotfl =)=)=) hahahaha :lol:!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111
 
i don't expect the normal metalhead to like anything on willowtip. this label is way too forward thinking for most, and most of the bands on this label are pushing metal as far as they can and are trying new things, and not just ripping off the exact sound of many bands. i just put out releases and sign bands that i like, if you would see some of the bands i could have signed that have gone on to sell thousands of albums. i don't give a fuck about any of that, i put out shit i like. i don't sign bands based on dollar signs like other labels. i want to release new and exciting music that for the most part is original. i'm done sending reviews to zines who's opinions i don't care about and don't respect. if you don't like sludge/doom/grind you aren't going to like goatsblood thats for sure and you should stay far far away. if you like any bands in that genre i don't see how you couldn't love the release. besides, metal maniacs, terrorizer, unrestrained, digitalmetal, etc and any zine that actually has reviewers who aren't retarded loved that release.

coming in 2004 new releases from:

capharnaum, commit suicide, necrophagist, arsis, alarum, neuraxis and more.
 
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