- Apr 10, 2006
- 11,386
- 2,033
- 113
Friends.
I have never driven a car. How do I get around the city? By buses and trams and metro. I share those fucking moving boxes of space with other lifeforms, mostly bacteria and some humans, usually older. Well I say older but it's getting on me too. Today I went to the doctor, they took my blood and I felt sick after the needle entered my weak lesbian-like tissue. But I don't mind seeing blood and I'm fucking used to people taking my blood, my health problems go way back into my childhood little lesbian era. I don't know why it made me feel sick but I felt so, so old. I also have some pains getting out of bed and stuff like that. My left hip hurts when I move around. I have to take a pill when I want to fuck. And that's no erection pill. That's a painkiller.
But I don't mind public transportation. They say we have one of the best systems in Europe. Sometimes you see gypsy girls throwing up on the floor of the tram at 6 in the morning, probably returning from a DIY abortion or a night in the 24/7 bar. What they do they barely speak and they just fuck for such a small amount of money. And they don't get out of the fucking tram at the next stop, no. They stay in the tram and continue vomiting on the floor until they reach their destination. Charles Square that is, obviously. Can't just blame the gypsies and the homeless though. I have a friend who plays baseball and it goes without saying that he and his mates use american phrases like "nice work" and "high five" and shit, and they also chew tobacco. On trams? They inconspicuously spit on the floor. When there's more than one they can flood the entire carriage in brown spit.
Not long ago I saw two stoned guys get in the tram with a huge diameter pizza and they were so wasted they couldn't "consume it" without a disaster happening. The entire half a meter wide pizza dropped on the floor toppings down. What they did well they picked it up and ate it anyway. In light of the previous paragraph it's obvious that their hunger had to be not from this Earth or something.
But let's be a little practical here. This shit is getting me everywhere and costs just 260czk/11usd a month. A car can barely get you through the centre and at rush hours it will take you even longer. You can't drink and drive which would be problematic if I was driving to school. Gas costs a shitload. I can't really afford buying a car anyway and when you buy it you start spending on more and more shit so it runs and stays legal. So why am I getting the license anyway? Well, everyone has it. Society has pushed me in this. Im just a marionette with the face of Sinead oConnor. Im made to think I would enjoy driving a stupid car. I went to the driving school for some paperwork and just going through the district, walking between the communist era buildings, made me feel like a granny going to the shop to buy the cheapest salami. I think those places have a strange vibe. People there talk to their dogs a lot and they watch the news on TV. Theyre the type of people who call customer support when they need to update Java and they drink instant coffee with milk at the same hour every fucking shitty day.
There was this ugly fucking slab of old piece of gypsy bitch in the driving school and her ugly daughter apparently taking the same fucking direction in life. I was like hello ladies might I have a driving license asap plox. She gave me a paper for the doctor to sign. They dont know email I thought to myself. Doctor showed me some pictures of small letters and also colorful bubbles that were hiding some more letters and I answered everything correctly. I mean, whenever I say shit about my body being all kinds of fucked up, I remind myself of my vision. Its perfect. Also my ears. I hear very well. And my dick.
I guess my dick is a regular size uncut chap the old world way with hairs around it same as the usual prototype. I think its best feature is how hard it can get fast. Of course its useless to talk about my own dick all myself so I will rather mention some references now. The opinions differ. My polish ex said it was too small for her. She was atop the beastie on her leather couch, oh I remember that day well. We were somewhat sweaty and she had quite some problem doing the stuff because it got slippery as fuck. I refused to go to bed because she had a pug and it vomited there often and I disagreed with her notion that his vomit was clean. She was on top and then she said it. I GUESS YOUR DICK IS TOO SMALL FOR ME. My life was shaken enough for one day so I went home and had a beer or something.
My current girl is very fond of my dick though. She even says how big it is on public and it makes me blush. Whenever the debate in the pub gets to the topic of my dick shes all like I can confirm the satisfying size and all. Im like come on girl. So where does the truth lie o mighty. Well I saw a pretty girl yesterday. Shes ginger. She kissed me but I couldnt go on. Im taken. Got drunk as fuck too.
I have a new problem with drinking btw. Whenever Im drunk at the pub I ask the staff if I could work there. Its strange because then I sober up and Im scared they will call me to do some bartending and I really dont want to, I just cant help myself when Im drunk. It got to the point when I wake up in the morning and I count how many pubs I offered to work in.
Bought some weed today. Should be good stuff.
Where was I.
Oh yeah the ginger girl. You would like that.
I have never driven a car. How do I get around the city? By buses and trams and metro. I share those fucking moving boxes of space with other lifeforms, mostly bacteria and some humans, usually older. Well I say older but it's getting on me too. Today I went to the doctor, they took my blood and I felt sick after the needle entered my weak lesbian-like tissue. But I don't mind seeing blood and I'm fucking used to people taking my blood, my health problems go way back into my childhood little lesbian era. I don't know why it made me feel sick but I felt so, so old. I also have some pains getting out of bed and stuff like that. My left hip hurts when I move around. I have to take a pill when I want to fuck. And that's no erection pill. That's a painkiller.
But I don't mind public transportation. They say we have one of the best systems in Europe. Sometimes you see gypsy girls throwing up on the floor of the tram at 6 in the morning, probably returning from a DIY abortion or a night in the 24/7 bar. What they do they barely speak and they just fuck for such a small amount of money. And they don't get out of the fucking tram at the next stop, no. They stay in the tram and continue vomiting on the floor until they reach their destination. Charles Square that is, obviously. Can't just blame the gypsies and the homeless though. I have a friend who plays baseball and it goes without saying that he and his mates use american phrases like "nice work" and "high five" and shit, and they also chew tobacco. On trams? They inconspicuously spit on the floor. When there's more than one they can flood the entire carriage in brown spit.
Not long ago I saw two stoned guys get in the tram with a huge diameter pizza and they were so wasted they couldn't "consume it" without a disaster happening. The entire half a meter wide pizza dropped on the floor toppings down. What they did well they picked it up and ate it anyway. In light of the previous paragraph it's obvious that their hunger had to be not from this Earth or something.
But let's be a little practical here. This shit is getting me everywhere and costs just 260czk/11usd a month. A car can barely get you through the centre and at rush hours it will take you even longer. You can't drink and drive which would be problematic if I was driving to school. Gas costs a shitload. I can't really afford buying a car anyway and when you buy it you start spending on more and more shit so it runs and stays legal. So why am I getting the license anyway? Well, everyone has it. Society has pushed me in this. Im just a marionette with the face of Sinead oConnor. Im made to think I would enjoy driving a stupid car. I went to the driving school for some paperwork and just going through the district, walking between the communist era buildings, made me feel like a granny going to the shop to buy the cheapest salami. I think those places have a strange vibe. People there talk to their dogs a lot and they watch the news on TV. Theyre the type of people who call customer support when they need to update Java and they drink instant coffee with milk at the same hour every fucking shitty day.
There was this ugly fucking slab of old piece of gypsy bitch in the driving school and her ugly daughter apparently taking the same fucking direction in life. I was like hello ladies might I have a driving license asap plox. She gave me a paper for the doctor to sign. They dont know email I thought to myself. Doctor showed me some pictures of small letters and also colorful bubbles that were hiding some more letters and I answered everything correctly. I mean, whenever I say shit about my body being all kinds of fucked up, I remind myself of my vision. Its perfect. Also my ears. I hear very well. And my dick.
I guess my dick is a regular size uncut chap the old world way with hairs around it same as the usual prototype. I think its best feature is how hard it can get fast. Of course its useless to talk about my own dick all myself so I will rather mention some references now. The opinions differ. My polish ex said it was too small for her. She was atop the beastie on her leather couch, oh I remember that day well. We were somewhat sweaty and she had quite some problem doing the stuff because it got slippery as fuck. I refused to go to bed because she had a pug and it vomited there often and I disagreed with her notion that his vomit was clean. She was on top and then she said it. I GUESS YOUR DICK IS TOO SMALL FOR ME. My life was shaken enough for one day so I went home and had a beer or something.
My current girl is very fond of my dick though. She even says how big it is on public and it makes me blush. Whenever the debate in the pub gets to the topic of my dick shes all like I can confirm the satisfying size and all. Im like come on girl. So where does the truth lie o mighty. Well I saw a pretty girl yesterday. Shes ginger. She kissed me but I couldnt go on. Im taken. Got drunk as fuck too.
I have a new problem with drinking btw. Whenever Im drunk at the pub I ask the staff if I could work there. Its strange because then I sober up and Im scared they will call me to do some bartending and I really dont want to, I just cant help myself when Im drunk. It got to the point when I wake up in the morning and I count how many pubs I offered to work in.
Bought some weed today. Should be good stuff.
Where was I.
Oh yeah the ginger girl. You would like that.
