The Official PR-Hooey Thread!

[Jim LotFP]

This thread is for all of the garbage that publicists throw at us. There are two qualifications for including something in this thread:

1. It has to come from an official source. A band, management, or record label. Nothing media or fan written.

2. It has to be something that can only exist in the realm of publicity material. No human being would ever write it except in the context of publicity material, and no human being would ever speak it, ever.

Cite your sources.

 

[Jim LotFP]

http://www.roadrunnerrecords.com/blabbermouth.net/news.aspx?mode=Article&newsitemID=48499

"Character", recorded once again at Studio Fredman (IN FLAMES, ARCH ENEMY), has also been praised as their most groundbreaking yet as it retains all of the band's classic elements and thought-provoking lyrical content while blending the perfect amount of unrelenting aggression and melody.

 

[Jim LotFP]

http://www.progpowerusa.com/band-epica.php

"After the monumentally massive splendour of The Phantom Agony (2003), Epica is now releasing the majestic successor Consign to Oblivion."

"Epica makes subtle bombast and I am proud of that."

"Also beautiful is the manner in which Simone Simons opens up her soul and allows us to share her feelings on the displacement and alienation of a musician’s life in the subdued ballad Solitary Ground. The delicate red-headed singer from Limburg sings on Consign to Oblivion with a grace and conviction which only highlights her undeniable star-appeal even more. Also, her dramatic duet with Roy Khan, singer of Kamelot, in Trois Vierges, which was written for the film Joyride, adds an extra dimension to the album."

"With all this spirituality in the lyrics, we should not lose sight of how tautly, torridly and overwhelmingly Epica carries on musically on Consign to Oblivion. The rhythm section (with Yves Huts on bass) couples sheer power with suppleness, the guitar riffs of Mark Jansen and Ad Sluijter pound away razor sharp, whereas the keyboards of Coen Janssen excel both in power and atmosphere. Also, we should not forget Mark’s excruciating grunts, which work so wonderfully contrastive to Simone‘s beautiful soprano. On Consign to Oblivion Epica show themselves as an imposing and tightly-knit rock machine with almost Wagnerian power, proving in all aspects why the group is counted as the vanguard of international gothic-metal scene in the category female fronted. A glorious new album by a great group!"

 

[Occam's Razor]

translated from the German press-sheet for Darkthrone's new album:

"If you want to call Led Zeppelin the gods of rock, Darkthrone are without any doubt the devils. Since their inception in the early 80s, they have marked their very own large territory in metal history.

After their first assault on the public awareness with Soulside Journey, they deilvered us the unholy trinity of A Blaze in the Northern Sky, Under a Funeral Moon and Transilvanian Hunger.

Censorship and strict political correctness drove the band away from Peaceville to the then green label Moonfog, where they released a couple of albums. Something seemed to be missing all the time though, and soon the band pointed out their desire to return home. The only thing that stood between us was a contract, written in Norwegian and signed in blood.

As it is known, time heals all the wounds, and as soon as the band was not bound anymore, they planned their return to the peak of metal existence with Peaceville. On The Cult is Alive, they offer us the evil, foul, rocking fruits of a new future"

 

[BenMech]

Darkthrone were kicked off Peaceville for making Anti-Semitic remarks rather frequently, not for Political Correctness

 

[Occam's Razor]

Exactly, but they put that mildly to justify their selling the band. I generally dislike how that period of Darkthrone's history is gently swept under the rug. Also by magazines that used to boycott them for the same reasons and now smell the possiblity of profit in the band.

However, I do not think they are Anti-Semitic in any way. They just desperately tried to distance themselves from their "death metal" past. Fenriz and Nocturno are even said to have been jailed for participating in an anti-Apartheit-demonstration sympathising with South Africa in the early 90s.

That's a variation of "poser" for me: pretending to be the bad guy to fit the prevalent black metal values

 

[Jim LotFP]

Darkthrone were kicked off Peaceville for making Anti-Semitic remarks rather frequently, not for Political Correctness

Were they kicked off? THat press release stating they were not going to promote the band seemed like a brilliant bit of promotion to me.

 

[Jim LotFP]

http://www.nuclearblast.de/events/balsagoth/index.php3

The mammoth Bal-Sagoth engine is fuelled with the mana of genius; epic and baroque sagas of darkest fantasy & science fiction set against a stirring orchestral metal soundtrack, multifaceted and exciting stories given the spark of thespian life and resonating within this grandiose musical soundscape... the key to a sublime artistic odyssey taking listeners on a journey to the infinite realms beyond.

 

[Jim LotFP]

http://www.roadrunnerrecords.com/blabbermouth.net/news.aspx?mode=Article&newsitemID=48655

When DARKTHRONE formed in the late '80s, Norway's metal scene was nothing but a small flicker of flame. That flame eventually changed to a fiery torch as the band transformed their early death metal sound into a raw, inhuman swirl of mayhem and chaos aided by satanic imagery, corpse paint and dark shadows.

Heavily influenced by the work of cult act CELTIC FROST years earlier, DARKTHRONE's black metal charge allowed them to storm the '90s with black their metal peers (MAYHEM, SATYRICON, ENSLAVED) following close behind. Along the way they gathered legions of fans worldwide and left a path of destruction still felt today. Their influential work cannot be ignored.

 

[Lee_B]

Okay, I've seen enough..

What would YOU write if you were trying to promote a, say, fairly ordinary Power metal band and your job depended on it?

 

[Jim LotFP]

Okay, I've seen enough..

What would YOU write if you were trying to promote a, say, fairly ordinary Power metal band and your job depended on it?

I couldn't do it. I wouldn't take the job in the first place.

I've turned down promotions at jobs (OK, one promotion at one job, several times) because I didn't want the headache of the responsibilities of that next step up. I've had raises turn to shit because I couldn't come up with some BS list of goals and accomplishments required during the annual review. (Apparently bosses in cubicle world don't like being asked "Isn't it your job to come up with that?") And I've had bosses tell me to just shut up and stop questioning the press releases and "open letter from the CEO" type communications we'd get.

All that just pointing out that this isn't some act to prove some point at other people's expenses. I'm this way when it's my money on the line as well.

... are you saying the things I've quoted here are not silly?

 

[Jim LotFP]

From the Spinefarm full page ad on the inside back cover of Terrorizer #140:

"Iceland avenges! Below the dead calm surface Sólstafir just prepares to splash boiling cum in your face. Primitive gothic, progressive doom and senseless maiming - that's GeysirMetal for you!"

 

[Jim LotFP]

Main headline at mtve.com today:

"HEADBANGER'S BALL IS BACK!

This is the return of heavy metal show Headbanger’s Ball! The show has a long history and is one of the most popular shows aired on MTV ever. Now the time has come to bring it back to you!"

So... I wonder why they don't mention why 'one of the most popular shows aired on MTV ever' went away in the first place.

Doubly weird is the fact that Headbanger's Ball has been airing the entire time I've been here anyway.

*shrug*

 

[Occam's Razor]

The ads for the current Katatonia album quote a reviewer:

"Shall I give this 'album of the year'?"

...and that was in January...

 

[Zealotry]

Exactly, but they put that mildly to justify their selling the band. I generally dislike how that period of Darkthrone's history is gently swept under the rug. Also by magazines that used to boycott them for the same reasons and now smell the possiblity of profit in the band.

However, I do not think they are Anti-Semitic in any way. They just desperately tried to distance themselves from their "death metal" past. Fenriz and Nocturno are even said to have been jailed for participating in an anti-Apartheit-demonstration sympathising with South Africa in the early 90s.

That's a variation of "poser" for me: pretending to be the bad guy to fit the prevalent black metal values

It's pretty much been confirmed that they never believed the whole black metal 'ideology' tripe, and only started playing black metal because Soulside Journey was a flop. They knew full well that acting like fascist assholes was the best way to be noticed if you were a band from Scandinavia at the time.

 

[Zealotry]

This is what they say:

Taking hardcore ethics to a whole new level, MAROON are quickly outplaying and outlasting their contemporaries around the globe. Formed in early 1998, the vegan, straightedge five-piece is clearly showing their dedication and no signs of slowing down. Their unique sound offers a heavyweight mix of brutal hardcore molded with metal riffs, which infuses strong and effective melodic elements. Their major influences are primarily drawn from straightedge bands like Earth Crisis, while still remaining true to their passion for old-school visionaries like At The Gates, The Haunted and Iron Maiden.

This is what the band actually sounds like

 

[BenMech]

The ads for the current Katatonia album quote a reviewer:

"Shall I give this 'album of the year'?"

...and that was in January...

Yeah, too bad the album's more toxic than a vomit-stuffed fried turd

 

[Zealotry]

You've gotta be kidding me. That album is the shit. Best thing they've done since Brave Murder Day.

 

[Occam's Razor]

I almost fell asleep listening to it, had not been the promo-voiceover that kept waking me up, saying that I'm listening to Katatonia's new album...I wouldn't have believed otherwise.
They haven't changed, of course, but to me, it sounds pretentious now where it convinced me (especially the vocals) before. The songs are similar to the predecessor (the obligatory screams in the first song, for example - heard also on "City of Glass"), but not as good - notwithstanding the band picture taken at the same place like vintage Dismember, haha...

 

[Jim LotFP]

notwithstanding the band picture taken at the same place like vintage Dismember, haha...

OK, that's weird. Which Dismember photo are you talking about?