The stupid pun thread

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I don't halve any three level puns, but one is about to become a level 2.

Quite possibly the oldest marketing pun in history is

"Vesuvinum" ( Vesuvius + vinum[wine]) found on amphorae in Pompeii.
 
You can't just bust off rad puns out of the blue! They best puns are immature ones snuck into a serious conversation causing the great awkward feeling we all know and love.
 
You don't know Glenn and I very well. We're so slick with it the pun police had a stroke before they could stop us. I'm just too tired to add any off the top of my head at the moment.
 
i was taking a shit the other day and i complained afterwards that i'd like more than two sheets and my friend told me that i just needed 2 multi-ply

ZING mother fuckers.