Gyroid names my son Hyurbh. We live a large life on a planar orange this side of Texafornia. I have a dogfish named Turborazor who melts into existence every morning and at 6PM every other day. Time never passes, it only slows down. The inevitable pull towards psychosis is found through melanges of narcotic crania.
From a pulverizing window, air is blown through smokestacks and tube systems which infest my being and violate me twenty-four hours of a year, whatever that is. At the time, it never seems like a bad idea until your body ends up on the other side of the fence. Trying things on in stores never works because freedom is capitalism; you know how the old saying goes: "don't count your chickens before they can rape your mother raw."
From my perception I can see your grotesque longing, seeking me out through a GPS system made of packing peanuts and magma. To touch me, you must roll twenty-five fifty-sided dice. Your total must not exceed five-thousand four-hundred ninety-seven, but it can also not be above zero, or you collapse in a fit of panic, sodomy, and angelmeat.
The elevator never comes down. It only goes ever up.