Theoretical "WHAT WOULD YOU DO?" question (drug/relationship related)

Apr 19, 2003
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OK, USA
I have a long time friend who i have been in a relationship off and on for quite some time... she's a girl, of course, and i'm a guy.... and we've been quite serious. I'm in love with her... madly....

She has been lying to me lately, and acting differently, not like herself.
She lies when she says she will call me back, and goes of with a guy friend of hers and has a group of friends who she hangs with.. (mostly guys, sometimes a few girls)

She said she couldn't trust me, that I was a NARC, and refused to tell me anything. I finally got her to finally tell me that she had 2 beers (never drank in the past) and tried weed... but said she would never do it again.. I got upset, but told her i just wanted the truth. A week later, she tells me about how she tried dope in the school bathroom, and how she did it some other times, and wants to do it again...

Her parents seperated (her stepdad left). She never really ever had a real dad... And she was depressed. I insisted on trying to make her feel better, and showing her I cared... Anyhow, I wanted her to trust me. I told her I wouldn't tell. She said, if I did, she would never talk to me ever again.

Well, she still said she didn't know if she could trust me.
After I inisisted over and over that I would not tell.

Now, I think I should let someone know... her mother....
She hasn't been acting like the girl I fell in love with.
The girl I know wouldn't have done all of this...
She says I need to stop trying to control her and let her make her own decisions... and stay out of her business... but I care so much about her. If anything happened to her, because of my inaction, I wouldn't be able to live with myself.

I talked to her on the phone today...
She called me an asshole, because she said I was tyring to BLACKMAIL her by saying that if she didn't see me, that I would tell her mom, and that in order for me not to "NARC", that i was forcing her to see me. I just told her "WHAT DO I HAVE TO LOSE? If I don't tell, you STILL won't see me again, you don't have time for me anymore..." So she says, "What do you have left to lose? You'll see... If you tell, I'll kill you!" Then this guy in the background says, "Tell him that I have Harassment charges on him, for calling my cell-phone..." So I say, "If you are pressing harassment charges on me, for just calling your cell, then maybe I should turn your ass in, you crack fiend..." And he gets on the phone suddenly and says, "YOU'RE DEAD BITCH!!" and hangs the phone up...


Damn....

I don't know what to do...
 
Hell yeah she's crazy. Plus, if she doesn't trust you, then she doesn't love you (and if she tells you she'll kill you, then she definitely doesn't love you). What's the point in loving someone that doesn't love you? Plus, SHE WANTS TO KILL YOU! hmm.......I do believe that that would be the point when I walk away.
 
Should I be positive that she really means what she says?

I mean... she has changed so drastically...

Sooner or Later, she'll realize that these "friends" aren't REAL friends..
Since I DO care about her, and I don't want her throwing her life away, should I "NARC" and tell her mother? Odds are that I won't see her again, either way...

Or will I just be making things worse by telling her mother?

I just want her to be normal again....
She claims that she hasn't done any drugs in the past few days...
When I was on the phone with her, she said she was just hanging out listening to music... I don't believe her though... Yeah, that is it, I don't TRUST her....

She says she doesn't trust me, yet I caught her in several lies...
If she is just going to "hang out", then why would you lie and say you "have no plans for the night" and that you will "call you back after you do the dishes", only to find out that there aren't any dishes to do, and run off somewhere...????? That's fucked UP!!!
 
Screw her, she obviously doesn't care about you as much as you care about her so if I were you I wouldn't lose any sleep over the whole matter. If she wants to rebel let her do her thing. Shit, beer and weed never hurt anyone. However if you really wanna help her, better start saving some money for detox in case she ends up shooting heroin.
 
Guerrilla said:
Screw her, she obviously doesn't care about you as much as you care about her so if I were you I wouldn't lose any sleep over the whole matter. If she wants to rebel let her do her thing. Shit, beer and weed never hurt anyone. However if you really wanna help her, better start saving some money for detox in case she ends up shooting heroin.


I told her mother everything....

I don't know what will happen now...

I'm not talking about Beer and Weed..... the major issue = DOPE!!!!!
The shit you snort in lines...

She probably will truly hate me for good now...
I hope I did the right thing..

The drugs have changed her...
If she could get off of the drugs, she may see the light..
One day, she'll be crawling back..
However, it'll be too late...
 
Your in too deep now, you should have keep your mouth shut,oh well....

JUST MOVE ON SILLY..BOY...

or get with the shit and get into it big time....your not running the race ok!!

LOOK OUT FOR #1 THATS YOU!!!

IF YOUR EYES DON'T SEE IT, SHE IS TELLING U POLITELY TO FUCK OFF.

SO DO IT, AND THERE MORE FISH IN THE OCEAN!!
MR 17. AM I CORRECT
 
kick her ass to the curb and sever all ties w/ her til she gets her shit together. sometimes tough love is the only way to get through to people.
 
If you call his phone again, it could be harassment, so you shouldn't. I'd say you need to stay away from her, her acquaintances aren't exactly friendly people. If he does try anything, though, you can NARC him.
(Being a misanthrope makes revenge even more fun.
firedevil.gif
)
 
rebirth's right about looking out for yourself, primarily. When I was in high school and a friend started dealing meth, I nearly got sucked into all his bullshit by association. He excpected me to take the fall for him, and I wouldn't and turned him in. So, of course, he threated to kill me *seems a popular theme among them druggies* I threw him through his front windshield, which isn't the point. Fact is, the using and the dealing of drugs sort of destroyed any real bond of friendship we had, and we had been fairly good friends.

You can't help this senorita until she actually wants help. Sounds like she's still digging herself into her junk hole, so she isn't going to want it. It hurts, but get the fuck away. You sound like you've got some brains, so you're ahead of the game. Stay ahead. Cut your losses, eliminate association. It's not worth the fuckin' headache.
 
The Junkie says:
Fuck her. Leave, make new freinds who don't fuck with you. I have a few freinds that do dope, and they KNOW not to try and either force it on me or expect me to take thier shit when it goes wrong.

No contact from this point is reccomended, if she loves you, she'll fix herself.

And telling her mom was just retarded. That's not going to get you any points in her book, and do you really want in with her mum?

Thus spake the nightjunkie.
 
I have to agree with everyone here.
Having had a relationship where the person I was with had drug and alcohal issues it's best to leave her.
The one thing you don't want is the cops calling one day saying she is in jail or dead etc. ( take it from me )
Anyway, the best thing is to leave, it is tough to do but you need to do it or else be dragged down yourself.
 
DreamNeonBlack said:
Anyway, the best thing is to leave, it is tough to do but you need to do it or else be dragged down yourself.

Which is not to say you won't have some good times if you do get dragged down.
 
I've had lots of experience being around people on the cheese. Now mind you this is coming from someone who has taken enough acid (real acid not what has been going around the past 10 years) for an army, enough mushrooms for the universe and smoked more pot than Bill Clinton has ever thought of. Cocain feeds the ego which is blind and a particulary bad part of the human psyche, and proven to be binded to certain receptors in the brain which cocain works on. Generally, depressed people are more likely to fall into this trap as it form a false sense of elation that is not there naturally. Hense feeding the ego. Its a nasty circle. I have had many friends fall into this and very few(1) was able to crawl his way out of it. From what I gatherd you are still pretty young yet, and telling her parents has a fine line, either it hurts or it helps, I've seen it go both ways, helping or the person totally freaking out because "everyone" is against them(Ego working) leading to more usage or death. It's a difficult place to be for you right now I know, but you're young and believe me there are other girls out there. Dwelling will get you nowhere. Cocain is a nasty evil substance, full of toxic chemicals and soul stealing effects. Mixed with a person suffering from depression is a disaster, because not only is the person suffering from natural depression that has to be helped, also the chemical dependency has to be helped too. I've quit really good jobs, bands and other aspects because I hate cocain and what it does to people, it turn them into lying stealing unproductive pieces of shit. Along with being linked to the government.(Another thread) You're a young dude yet, watch carefully, you were just shown a lesson, and get on with life, it's far too short for bullshit.:wave:
 
This is a time to review future plans, as his circumstances are bad...calling her mother wa a bad move...a snitch is a snitch, if he wants to live beyond 35, he would be best to keep quite....

OTHERWISE THE MAFIA WILL CUT YOUR FUCKING BALLS........