things i keep thinking about this morning

some other stuff:
- sometimes i can't get myself to leave the house.
- i did yoga yesterday for the first time in over a month and i am definitely totally out of shape and it sucks
- i feel like i am at once turning into the typical 20-something female, and then also turning into a maniac
- going insane is a lot easier when you're a guy. girls are just figured neurotic. guys are considered post-modernist.
 
- i feel like i am at once turning into the typical 20-something female, and then also turning into a maniac
same thing, some may say

I always sit around at home on the weekends and can't think of anything to do or need to get done. Instead of being productive I sit at the computer, hating myself for it. All the chores I have on my list either require more money than I have or are just too hard to initiate.
 
i'm actually so overwhelmed with stuff that i could do that i feel improperly prepared to do that i almost feel paralyzed. i keep begging myself for structure and all i get is less and less linear... more and more out of it.
and the money thing: i feel that. i desperately want to have my apartment look a little nicer (like, non-dangerous small appliances) but alas, i feel like i will always be that 5 year old who had kids tell me that i was poor and that it was gross that i had one pair of pants. and i've sort of resolved myself to poverty and just well, fuck it, it's all i basically know anyway, right?

LAME.maybe i should start handing out anti-depressants with my posts.
 
I need approx $200 for a new set of (really nice) shelves. Most of the reason my house gets to be such a mess is the lack of or poor organization of storage space. and the dogs, but that's a different story.
 
that's a good idea, but unfortunately the space I need it for has very precise dimensions. I love Craigslist, though - found bands, jobs, friends and all sorts of stuff through there.
 
well, there are these things (i wouldnt buy them from this site because they're cheaper at kmart)
http://www.shoplet.com/office/db/FEL46414.html

they look flimsy, but we got 20 cubes for my friends apartment and they are rock fuckin solid. we covered them with fabric and then on the top we laid down little canvas boards) and it looks neat and in total cost about $60. it holds all of his books, his records, and he even put a 30 gallon fish tank on top and it holds up fine. the good thing is, when you put it together, you can make it whatever dimension you essentially want, and if you want it really tall, all you have to do is bracket it to the wall at the top, and it won't move/tip even if the floor is really uneven.

also, maybe there is something on www.diynet.com?
 
this is what I'm planning on getting:
5shelf.jpg


it's for the kitchen and it can't have a back b/c the hot water heater will be behind it and we might need to access it. we're also going to be putting some heavy-ass, big appliances on it like our microwave, so I'm not sure the cubes will do. My general plan with these things is to spend a little extra to make sure I'm completely satisfied. When I skimp I almost always have problems later on.
 
anyway, i just went grocery shopping. note 1: if you offer to bag your own stuff, the check out girl gives you a free newspaper. note 2: the wind blowing past the project highrise is dangerous and can blow a bag of apples out of your hand.
 
another thing that is wearing me out today is that for like a week i've been searching for a rolling stones poster of some type, of them back in the day (like during their first two albums, no 80's stuff!) without writing all over it and i can't find one. it's really upsetting. even just one of those 8x10's! the only one i could find was some tv show they did and it was corny.
 
it's like maybe 50 degrees in my office today. jack-assula and his maintenance office cohorts forgot to turn it on until 9 today. thanks dudes!
i spent a good 5 minutes with a little piece of tape this morning helping a volunteer remove copiuos amounts of lint from his collar because he seemed embarrassed about it.
i finally fucking finished the helicopter mission. goddammmmit.
i made a painting for nick and i sent it to him today.

i cant remember if i posted about yesterday's squirrel incident or not and i am too lazy to check. oh well.

i walked 30 blocks today before work.
 
I was thinking about some of the things on this thread last night, like how I wish I had time before work to exercise. I enjoy working at 6am and getting off by 3, but sometimes I still wish I had time in the morning to do stuff.
 
well there is a staircase josh, in the building, if you go to the first drop center for the bomb, the staircase is to the right. use the l1 and r1 buttons to turn the helicopter around to see if it's there. make sure you hit the worker dudes with the blades or they'll ruin yr steez.

yesterday a squirrel was all over my birdfeeder on the fire escape and he was having trouble but he looked hungry, so iopened the window and put a little apple out there for him, and he was SO talented at eating it, it was amazing. he peeled the fucking thing with his teeth! and spun it around and around and ate the best parts.
i woke up this morning and he was back out there eating the rest of it. freddy got these corn on the cob chew toys that he doesnt like, for xmas from my sister, so i am going to donate one to the squirrel feeding fund later today.
 
also, avi: i used to work the same hours. i totallllly miss them, don't be sad! can you not find time to get some exercise after work?