Things you're very unlikely to hear in the studio

[tgs]

- "I spilled some coffee in the kitchen. Where do you keep the cleaning supplies?"

- "Is there a garbage bin around here somewhere? I just changed strings and I want to get the old ones out of the way."

- "We're out of clean coffee cups. I'll take care of it!"

 

[Torniojaws]

- "Do you think it's too loud?"

 

[_Brutalism_]

- "Shit, I'm all out of drumsticks. Mind if we postpone the session till tomorrow cause I got to pick the right size and all that stuff and it will take a while, you know."

- "Darn it to hell, my uber super caliphragalisticexpaligociously br00talz Metal Zone distortion pedalizer is out of god-damn battery! Where's the closest stationary so I can buy another?!"

- "WTF?!?!?! That sucks man start all over again man you haven't been practicing have you you forgot the coolest bit we practiced it like a zillion and one times and now you forget it this is coming out of your cash you can't even keep fucking time to a click track which you made yourself so stupid what a noob learn how to play man I don't even know why you're in the band go eat dick and die! No! YOUR mother is gay!"

....Ah that would be the day.

 

[poidaobi]

"I need to work on my playing, you are spot on Mr Engineer! That take sucked!".

 

[The Unavoidable]

"No need to do another take, you got it perfect the first time"

"No thanks, I don't drink coffee"

 

[Loren Littlejohn]

Man these drumheads suck, they are all dented and shit. I'm gonna go buy new ones.

Man my guitar strings are rusty, I'm gonna go buy new ones.

Man this bass sounds really dull, I'm gonna go buy new strings.

You can have as long as you wish our budget is unlimited.

Hey man I messed up the place you got a broom and dustpan?

WTF? Why are you trying to put your dick in my ass?

 

[vespiz]

This sounds really good, I'm going to give you more money!

 

[jacare]

This sounds really good, I'm going to give you more money!

 

[tgs]

"Isn't my guitar a bit too loud in the mix?"

"I won't bother you about the levels right now, I know that's a mixing issue."

 

[Machinated]

This sounds really good, I'm going to give you more money!

I have actually heard this....twice aswell.....hahaha

 

[The Unavoidable]

WTF? Why are you trying to put your dick in my ass?

I would say that sounds like something you'd be very likely to hear after a few weeks of tracking!

 

[Toni S.]

"That mix sounds like one of Andy Sneap's productions!"

 

[Chryst Krispies]

"SURE you can have sex with my girlfriend in the vocal booth!"

 

[SocialNumb]

"Honey would you please stop putting the sm57 in your vagina?"

 

[Jaymz]

1, 2, 3, 4

 

[006]

^^^^
ROFL

 

[slashvanyoung]

Hey guys, let's be on time tomorrow!

 

[roy22341]

"You're right, my gain is way too high."

 

[Chryst Krispies]

I think I'll tune my guitar again for this take!

 

[if6was9]

This sounds really good, I'm going to give you more money!

That happened me on my first paying session!

One I don't think I'll be hearing anytime soon is " Man, take as long as you need to get the mix perfect, we're not gonna pressure you to have a finished cd for when the trackings just over, we understand it takes a little time and the end result will be better if we give you time to finish it properly"
For some reason everyone I've done work for has been complete bastards about the time it takes to mix stuff, It seems the way they see it if they're finished tracking they have to be hassling me constantly to get a cd to them, i'm talkin next day after tracking 4 tracks they expect an email with completely finished mixes. Had one guy expect a finished cd as soon as he walked out of the live room! Insane