Things you're very unlikely to hear in the studio

[KeithTidd]

"Lets not get drunk or high while we record!"

 

[PhilR]

- "I spilled some coffee in the kitchen. Where do you keep the cleaning supplies?"

- "Is there a garbage bin around here somewhere? I just changed strings and I want to get the old ones out of the way."

- "We're out of clean coffee cups. I'll take care of it!"

Oddly I have heard variations of all these.

Hardcore bands tend to be nice people.

 

[ahjteam]

I rehearsed

 

[Notuern]

"I spilled some coffee in the kitchen. Where do you keep the cleaning supplies?" "Is there a garbage bin around here somewhere? I just changed strings and I want to get the old ones out of the way." "We're out of clean coffee cups. I'll take care of it!" "Do you think it's too loud?" "I need to work on my playing, you are spot on Mr Engineer! That take sucked!"."Man these drumheads suck, they are all dented and shit. I'm gonna go buy new ones." "Man my guitar strings are rusty, I'm gonna go buy new ones." "Man this bass sounds really dull, I'm gonna go buy new strings." "This sounds really good, I'm going to give you more money!" "Isn't my guitar a bit too loud in the mix?" "I won't bother you about the levels right now, I know that's a mixing issue." "You're right, my gain is way too high." "I think I'll tune my guitar again for this take!" "You're right! 'Good enough' really isn't good enough! I'll try a few more times to get a good take." "Go ahead and take your time mixing. Having a good sounding CD is more important than getting it sooner." "Don't bother with making the master really loud, we prefer to keep the dynamics intact" "I never use the loudness function on my home stereo" "Lets not get drunk or high while we record!"

I would seriously say every single one of those lines, am I retarded?

 

[KillFrenzy]

"We have everyone's part perfectly set and our singer has perfect tune."
"Do you mind if I go home and practive all the songs until it's flawless before I come in again? I don't want to waste your time on tracking and editing. I know it sucks"

Great thread.. hahaha

 

[Brett - K A L I S I A]

"We have everyone's part perfectly set and our singer has perfect tune."

Heard that a lot. Isn't necessarily true though

 

[lordtech]

"What is click track?"

 

[jacare]

"That mix sounds like one of Andy Sneap's productions!"

 

[MetallyGuitarded]

Just curious how often you guys get this:

"Hey, I tripped and knocked down/broke something over here [ points at item ]" or "I didn't see any extra cables/mics in here when we loaded our gear in"

versus

Discovering the shit broken [ or stolen ] after the session?

I'm pretty sure I would say all these things you guys never seem to hear. But then I have some respect for myself and others.

 

[tgs]

Just curious how often you guys get this:

"Hey, I tripped and knocked down/broke something over here [ points at item ]" or "I didn't see any extra cables/mics in here when we loaded our gear in"

versus

Discovering the shit broken [ or stolen ] after the session?

I'm pretty sure I would say all these things you guys never seem to hear. But then I have some respect for myself and others.

Reminds me of a great thing that happened when my colleague recorded a band. Right after, I noticed that one of our cymbal stands was missing, so I asked him to ask them about it. They apparently replied "oh, so that one was yours, we were wondering where it came from!"/
A week later he called them again to try to arrange for them to return it. Suddenly the story was "no, we didn't take any extra stands". Ok, great... I still miss that stand, it was a good one. And I hate the one we bought to replace it.

Another one: one of my personal splash cymbals (which I don't let people use but I still keep in the studio) disappeared during a production and it was soooo obvious that the band stole it, since I had been recording with me on drums right before that and I KNEW I had used it when I recorded. But it was an impossible situation and it was totally pointless to try to get anyone to admit they took it.
So some months later another band came to the studio (recording with my colleague as well). I went down to the studio to see how things were going, and what do I see if not my splash cymbal... So I asked where he got it and he said he bought it from a guy from that fucking band.
Needless to say, In Battle aren't welcome in the studio again.

 

[K Odell]

I have one that I have heard that I never thought I would hear and completely blew my mind. This guitar player the other day was tracking his parts and said "dude, don't you think the metronome is getting off?" I quit.

 

[Nebulous]

In Battle aren't welcome in the studio again.

Name and shame- I like your style

 

[sirscratch01]

Lol dude i've heard that so many times "Nah man, something's wrong with your computer or something because that click is totally speeding up and slowing down everywhere." and this was from a drummer. Although when he set up his full set of sabian B8's and left a 9 inch gap between his two rack toms and then sat down completely bent over the kit and started warming up like a gorilla with a rock band drumset, that should probably have triggered an alarm or two haha. Oh well, sometimes its all about who the money unfortunatly.

 

[Chryst Krispies]

This thread makes me not want to ever record music. If someone ever tells me that a "click is off" or "those stands were ours" I will slap a motherfucker in the face.

 

[coneyis]

"We have all the cash upfront for the session to give you today!"

"Yeah we know how to play all the parts correctly, we spent extra time going over it as a band before hand"
(I can't tell you how many times I've tracked bands and then when the 2nd guitars are layed down, that guitarist is playing something different! It then leads to - "Dude, the song never went like that!")

 

[MetallyGuitarded]

This thread rules. I would totally have to tackle anyone stealing my gear. Keep it coming!

 

[greyskull]

i have had the ... "is the click speeding up and slowing down" THREE FUCKING TIMES

 

[The Unavoidable]

Anyone stealing gear from me would be on the receiving end of a shanking.

 

[deanbailey]

My contract normally covers everything mentioned here and has been looked over by a few legal members/lawyers so I have no loop holes for bullshit like this lol

But the funniest thing I got told:
"Hey your contract said we could swim in your pool, but it's green and dirty. Contract VOID!"

First of all It was winter...who swims and cleans their pools in this season (I'll probably get a few people saying "me")? And secondly no, my contract had nothing about swimming or allowing the use of any kind of sport/leisure activity available on the premises.

 

[roy22341]

I have one that I have heard that I never thought I would hear and completely blew my mind. This guitar player the other day was tracking his parts and said "dude, don't you think the metronome is getting off?" I quit.

Heard this yesterday too. It took every ounce of patience I had to not slap the shit out of someone. :Smug: