To those with few or no "friends"

[Belial]

Do you ever get lonely? Though I'm usually pretty content with being by myself and everything, at times I do have my weak moments when I feel like I'm all alone in the world and will be so for the rest of my life.

I dunno, it's wierd, because I genuinely enjoy my solitude. I enjoy doing things alone, my way, without other people to complicate things. Plus, when something doesn't go right, I don't have to look far to know where to place the blame. I generally find people irritating, simple, judgemental, and utterly impossible to please, yet at times I actually find myself feeling sad and wishing I had someone to share my time, thoughts, and feelings with.

Does this make any sense? Do any of you ever feel this way?

 

[MetalManCPA]

OK - I'll answer because I don't think I would of started the other thread if I had a lot of friends.

But I'm probably different than most here - because I'm married to my best (and almost only) friend. I could care less about having friends. As I stated in my other thread (internal reasons) - I don't see the benefit in spending time seeking out friendship. My personality does not need this - I can find PLENTY to do by myself - and be quite content being this way [no sexual pokes here ].

I observe the social environment around me - and find it way to shallow to be a part of. When a true friend comes along - I'll just know it (my wife is my proof).

BTW - a little different title?

 

[ricochet]

Originally posted by metalmancpa
BTW - a little different title?

Belial, I know exactly what you mean. I, too, enjoy being alone and staying away from people. I just prefer to be on my own and feel much more comfortable this way. It would be nice to have a few close people to share your deepest thoughts and not worry about being ridiculed. In general, I don't really care about having friends and am much more content by myself with some good tunes.

However, sometimes I just feel like I should just go out and try to have fun. I have been in some social circles before and just find them to be very pointless. When it comes down to it, I have much more fun alone or with one other person then a group of people or crowds at parties.

 

[Belial]

Originally posted by metalmancpa
OK - I'll answer because I don't think I would of started the other thread if I had a lot of friends.

But I'm probably different than most here - because I'm married to my best (and almost only) friend. I could care less about having friends. As I stated in my other thread (internal reasons) - I don't see the benefit in spending time seeking out friendship. My personality does not need this - I can find PLENTY to do by myself - and be quite content being this way [no sexual pokes here ].

I observe the social environment around me - and find it way to shallow to be a part of. When a true friend comes along - I'll just know it (my wife is my proof).

BTW - a little different title?

I agree. I don't see much point in actively going out and seeking out friendships, so I don't. However, I do sometimes feel like I'm missing something. I guess it's because I've never had a "friend" before, just family aquaintences who only talk to me because of my family.

Your perspective probably differs from mine because you're married, with children. Thus you have an emotional outlet, as far as the need for companionship is concerned. I have no such outlet.

As I said, I enjoy my privacy and solitude, but have weak moments from time to time where I feel lonely for no god damn reason. I guess I'm just wierd.

P.S: Can you believe I didn't even notice the topic thing?

 

[lumen]

I think it's pretty natural for even the most self-sufficient humans to desire meaningful companionship now and then.

I've gone through a few periods in my life when I felt like there was no one close to me I could really trust or depend on a a good friend. I do quite well as a loner, but there were always times that I felt the loneliness strongly.

 

[Claire's Horror]

I spend most of my time locked inside my room, and don't really know why... I have several friends who I could just make a call and hang out or something. Yet still I do it when this all becomes desperating. Everyone needs human contact.

 

[Obyeybyeogone]

Yup, i'm normally locked in my room as well, it's kind of annoying because my parents assume I play computer games ALL DAY, when I'm only on less than half the time i'm in my room, and half of that time is spent here

I have a lot of friends that I hang out with, and several other acquantices. My friends however, are computer people , not all of them, but at least half, so I talk to them on IRC and they come over occasionally. Sometimes we manage to get a paintball game going (If anyone has tried to organize a paintball game you'll know how incredibly hard this is to do). I should probably do more active stuff, but I can't stand the people who play football and basketball, the only sports I use to play. Most of the time I just stay in my room while listening to music or watching tv. Or listening to music and being on the computer, or being on the computer, and watching TV. I'll read books too, but not nearly as much as the latter three.

 

[Slayed Necros]

I feel the same way Belial....Though I only have one friend,it doesn't bother me in the slightist(sp)....

 

[Jayde]

I have three friends and I haven't seen them for two weeks. I'm on Christmas break and I've been isolated in this apartment since school let out. The only person I've talked to in real life is my mom. So yes, I am very lonely.

 

[spikes77]

what highschool did u (or still) goto belial? just out of curiousity........

 

[Belial]

I'm out of school now, but I was in a couple. The last high school I attended was Benjamin Cardozo High.

 

[Katmandoom]

oh i feel exactly the same Belial!
I never had much friends, and i never liked being in group. WHen it happens, i may find it amusing at first, but the more it goes, the more i get bored. i prefer being with 1 or 2 persons. But i enjoy being alone. i don't think i would like to be alone all the time though... i do believe human needs human contacts.

 

[SentencedToBurn]

whenever im with a big group of my friend (like say 8 people) i get really annoyed cause they all act like jackasses when they are together. i too would prefer to just hang out with 1 or 2 of my friends at a time.

Everybody needs to be alone sometimes, and other times you need human contact. its just neccesary

 

[Obyeybyeogone]

"whenever im with a big group of my friend (like say 8 people) i get really annoyed cause they all act like jackasses when they are together."

I really know what you mean, it's like "We're in a group, we better start acting like idiots to impress each other!" I was sitting with some aquantices that aren't THAT bad alone, but this time there were like six of them, we were at a peprally. And so the cheerleaders come on and they are yelling how ugly all of them are, then when the dance team comes on they start saying how all the dance people are those who were too ugly to be cheerleaders, I was getting really pissed off and about to leave, and then the breaking point that made me say "Grow up" and leave was when a limp bizkit song came on they started yelling "TURN IT UP YEAH!!!" Needless to say I avoid them if at all possible now.

 

[Belial]

Originally posted by SentencedToBurn
whenever im with a big group of my friend (like say 8 people) i get really annoyed cause they all act like jackasses when they are together. i too would prefer to just hang out with 1 or 2 of my friends at a time.

Everybody needs to be alone sometimes, and other times you need human contact. its just neccesary

Exactly my case. When me, my siblings and their friends go out in a big group, it's like a group psychosis overtakes everyone and they all become jerks. I usually just replain silent and become very bored with them, which is interpreted as depression and sadness, which leads to them all getting on me and accusing me of becoming emotional and ruining the evening.

Needless to say, I've given up going on their little gatherings. All of them are good to be around in their own way when we're alone or there's only a few of us. But when we all get together, all bets are off.

 

[bleed for me]

Originally posted by SentencedToBurn
whenever im with a big group of my friend (like say 8 people) i get really annoyed cause they all act like jackasses when they are together. i too would prefer to just hang out with 1 or 2 of my friends at a time.

yea i know what u mean...when you're with a group of ppl, everyone's trying so hard to impress everyone else....i hate that

 

[RETIREDTrapped]

Do you ever get lonely?

The short answer?

Yes. I do.

...And altough i am a very 'quiet' person, and i choose to be by myself alot of the time, I am just a normal person.

I like to be alone alot, it is good for the soul, but bad for the sanity. The problems arise when i actually DO feel like going out and being around someone, there is no-one there to talk to, for i have been alone so much that i simply do not have many freinds.

There is also many different TYPES of freinds:

There is freinds that you might go see a movie with, or meet up for a coffee somewhere.

There is CLOSE freinds that you would spill your mind and soul out to (...sadly, there is very few of these people around.)

There is freinds that you 'Say hi to when you see them'.

There is freinds that you hang out with on weekends, yet you are not really close to, you might not know anything about them personally, and they might not actually know you.

 

[tenebrose]

I don't really have the problem that my friends behave like jack-asses when together... well, some of them do, but they always act like jack-asses, in my eyes, because I only see them when in groups (I wouldn't call them friends, more like acquointances... those classic heavy metal people). They're funny though, with their drunken antics and constant quoting of Manowar and Skid Row. I wouldn't have them in the house, but they're lots of fun and we get along good. To them I'm a metal head, rather than a girl (as seen when one of them uses an offensive word, and apologises to the other girl in the room), which can be a problem... with my ex's friends I was always my gender. The only time they'd bother discussing music with me was "so what do you girls listen to?", and this even though we went to concerts together.... and I think still, nowadays, when we run into each other at concerts, or at parties, or at their gigs, when I show up to show support. Nope, my friends don't behave like jackasses, but my friends' friends do.


And yes, I agree with most of the people here... I need my privacy. I really, utterly, need it. I spent a week with my parents in a Paris hotel... one room and one bathroom. I was never alone. I was always with at least one of my parents, unless I was in the bathroom. It was pure and utter hell, having nowhere to go... nowhere to be... they were always there. I need my privacy from my friends too sometimes, and I might need privacy from my boyfriend, if I saw him constantly.


(Edit: Got. to. learn. to. use. vB code. and. not. HTML.)

 

[Misanthrope]

Do you ever get lonely? Though I'm usually pretty content with being by myself and everything, at times I do have my weak moments when I feel like I'm all alone in the world and will be so for the rest of my life.

I truly understand, i generally rather be by myself but sometimes it gets difficult and i feel like crap and i fear my future as a total hermit, but usually it does not bothers me. Most people cant tell if they dont know me enough to know i barely live my house at all, because ive learned to be the ultimate hypcrite and be civil to people only to talk behind their backs a lot, like everybody else does only difference is that i accept it. Im also lucky to have someone to share my thoughts and feelings with, even if those feelings grew cold and ruined the best thing that ever happened to me....but im fortunate indeed, and i wouldnt change a thing.

 

[D Mullholand]

"We're in a group, we better start acting like idiots to impress each other!"

Golden words, Oyo, I hate that too.

But when it's the really close friends that gather, and the quantity is carefully balanced, we can even behave like idiots but on a higher level - it's like we all know each other's sense of humor so the predictable jokes are repressed and the really absurd ones come out, backed up by the depth of mutual understanding. It's a great way of spending time - better than being alone; but being alone is miles better than being in a crowd of superficial "friends". I tire of such company quickly, and always need a period of rest and quiet reflection.

D Mullholand