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Crack Hitler
homeless
One guilty pleasure of me and my girlfriend (among others, naturally 
) is Fear Factor. It's just so addictive to watch + I can't wait to see what they have to eat every week 
) is Fear Factor. It's just so addictive to watch + I can't wait to see what they have to eat every week 
Bambi
Villain of the piece
al bundy is an absolute hero to mankind, heres some quotes of his
Oh. life is good! But not for me ...
I'm jealous of every man not married to you.
Behind every successful man is a woman who didn't marry me.
I'm the only guy in the world who has to wake up to have a nightmare.
Christmas is not the time for regrets. That's what anniversaries are for.
Love is not only blind but stupid.
Peggy : Tell me you love me, Al.
Al : I love football, I love beer, let's not cheapen the meaning of the word.
Peggy : Tell me you love me, Al
Al : Yeah yeah yeah yeah.
Peggy : Tell me you love me, Al
Al : Peggy, it hurts my stomach.
If your life was any easier, you'd be in an urn in the ground!
Don't quit your day couch, Peg!
Behind every successful man is a woman who did not marry me.!
The home shopping network! There's a good idea for women! It was a little too hard driving to the mall with a couch strapped to their ass!!!
This wouldn't be a bad job if people didn't come in here!
Marcy : We're having a new addition to our family!
Al : Shouldn't you be at home sitting on it to hatch?
Al : Cut to the left, cut to the left!!! Now!!! Go for the end zone!!
Bud : I thought you were looking at cheerleaders.
Al : I am. Damn cameraman's shooting their faces!!!
Marcy : I am Marcy Darcy here on behalf of the Coalition for the Esthetically Challenged.
Al : Challenged? I'd say defeated, exiled and left for dead!
No problem, I was on my way back to town to get a hernia operation anyway! Can I get anybody else a hundred pounds of anything?
Peg : You haven't been very nice to my family.
Al : Neither has nature, go bother it!
That's the sound of the axel hitting the ground. That means one of two things. Either Peg's family's in town or everybody in China just jumped off a chair.
I welcome death!
I saw your mother naked and everything went black!!! I think my eyes were trying to protect my heart!!!
Peggy : Why don't you take us all out for dinner?
Al : What the hell, kids, you never wanted to go to college anyway, did you?
Congratulations Peg, you've just won a trip to disneyfist!
If daddy gets the (electric) chair, will you sit on his lap one last time? (to Kelly)
5000 bucks for a Barbie doll??? A real woman isn't worth that much ...
We didn't break free from that pantsy country England by voting! We did it by throwing their stinkin' tea in our American harbour! And why? Because Americans don't like tea. We like coffee. And Americans don't like wine. We like beer. Ice cold. Ice-cold-best-in-a-bottle-but-fine-any-way-you-can-get-it-belchin. It would make a great movie! Better than that damn Columbus. wake-up-in-a-pool-of-it-next-day-beer!
Al (to a trio of fat women) : So do you really work for Victoria's Secret?
Fat Woman : Yes, we work for the plus size store for Victoria's Secret. It's called Victoria's BIG secret.
Al : I don't think Victoria can hold a secret this big.
The American justice system works! Beat the crap out of people before the judges let them go!
Peg : Ooh baby! Is that a nightstick or are you just happy to see me?
Al : It's a nightstick and I'm not afraid to use it!
Al : You'll never guess what I dreamt about at work today!
Peg : Me?
Al : Yes!
Peg : Was I in bed?
Al : Yes! As a matter of fact I'd tied you up!
Peg : Ooh Al, that's so kinky! What were you doing?
Al : Cindy Crawford!
Peg : Why don't you ever rock me, Al?
Al : 'Cause I'd rather stone you.
Pretty women make us BUY beer. Ugly women make us DRINK beer.
It's not for the dodge, it's for your mom, Peg, look it even comes in her size : astrooooo Vannnnn"
Entertainment for the cave man was simple : Man kills food, woman burns it, giant pterodactyl swoops down, chases woman, woman falls in mud. A good laugh is had by all.
Fat Woman : Do you always go to work wearing a suit and smelling like High Karate?
Al : No. Do you always go to work wearing curtains and smelling like Mars bars?
Four weddings and a funeral, where's the difference?
Well, according to my research, the cost of raising a baby from birth to college is approximately seven hundred and eighty thousand dollars. Thanks to my actually selling a shoe last week, I'm proud to say we're now just short seven hundred eighty thousand dollars. Thank you.
You know what I would do if I was President? I'd take a big empty state, that nobody's using, y'know, like Idaho, and I'd pack every pregnant woman in the country into donut trucks, and convoy 'em all to Boise. And since Idah means nothing anyhow, I'd change the name to Preg-naho.
Peg, did your mother get so fat she spread across the border?
This is my week off, so pack up, get the kids and I'll see you in a week.
There's only one dead guy in this mall and you're looking at him.
I'm so upset I can hardly eat this sandwich.
Am I truly nothing? Could the neighbourhood children be right?
I wish the world was a fly and I'm a giant rolled up newspaper.
Except for the day before the day I met you, this is the happiest day of my life.
Now wait a second. My pretty teenage daughter with the brain of a fruit-fly earned a thousand dollars in three nights. Should I be worried?
Stand back pumpkin. He's just about to pop and I don't want teeth and eyes all over you.
Old McBundy had a farm ... B-U-N-D-Y, and on this farm he had no wife, B-U-N-D-Y, and a no wife here and a no kids there, a hooker coming over on Friday nights ... Big luscious hooters, a pizza and a beer there ... old McBundy had a farm ... B-U-N-D-Y
Why doesn't the world die? .
Please, Peg, if you have any feelings for me, don't make me make love to you.
Milwaukee, That's the town they built around you mother isn't it, Peg?
I only saw the end credits of Shane until your mother lumbered in front of the TV. By the time she passed by, it was morning!
I begged for the death-penalty but they insisted that I learn a lesson.
Peg, this is your birthday, please don't make me kill you!
I'm a shoe man, born and bred, dammit.
The brain doesn't need blood. It just needs to be kept wet.
People who work putting shoes on fat women who wear dresses should not have 20/20 vision.
(To a fat woman) Let me explain. It's just like an elevator. There's a 2 ton weight limit on these shoes ...
I married you 'til death do us part. So when I'm dead, I'm free to date.
How many cradles have you robbed in your thousand years?
The last time she saw forty was 1840!
That's a solid $1.97 for me. After taxes, social security, and your mom, I just earned myself a cool nickel.
That's probably what it meant when my horoscope said "KABOOM!"
Al : Son, have I told you not to get married?
Bud : Yeah, dad.
Al : Have I told you not to become a shoe salesman?
Bud : Yeah, dad.
Al : I guess I told you everything I know then. !
Hey, Marcy, what's holding the towel up?
I never wanted to get married, I got married. Never wanted kids, I have 2 of them. Why the hell am I here?
Remember our motto : We ain't got it.
I'm going back to Chicago; where I only die a little every day.
I'm not paying for my mistakes. I've been doing that since I got married.
It's only a game if you win but if you lose it's a stinking waste of time.
If God had wanted women to play ball, he would've made them men.
Guys may come and guys may go, but daddy's always daddy ... well, at least until he jumps a freight train.
Why is it that Elvis is dead but I'm in hell?
We all have to live with our disappointments ... I have to sleep with mine.
Something sinister's going on, so I know a woman's behind it.
There's two things that the Bundy's don't do. We don't eat vegatables and we don't tap.
Life didn't pass me by, it sat on my head.
Computers and women are ruining the country.
Threats don't work on me ... I've already been to hell.
I'd rather dive of the Sears Tower head first into a thumbtack or bait a crocodile with my manhood ...
Not quite as old as the hair on your legs ...
That's what being a man is like : making mistakes and not caring.
You know Peg, for a bigfoot your mother is not bad.
Peg : Shall I get one of those? (mini skirts)
Al : Why?
... I want some form of dead animal on that table ... and I want that animal to be succulent.
Peggy : Am I getting old, Al?
Al : How do I know? I never look at you.
Oh. life is good! But not for me ...
I'm jealous of every man not married to you.
Behind every successful man is a woman who didn't marry me.
I'm the only guy in the world who has to wake up to have a nightmare.
Christmas is not the time for regrets. That's what anniversaries are for.
Love is not only blind but stupid.
Peggy : Tell me you love me, Al.
Al : I love football, I love beer, let's not cheapen the meaning of the word.
Peggy : Tell me you love me, Al
Al : Yeah yeah yeah yeah.
Peggy : Tell me you love me, Al
Al : Peggy, it hurts my stomach.
If your life was any easier, you'd be in an urn in the ground!
Don't quit your day couch, Peg!
Behind every successful man is a woman who did not marry me.!
The home shopping network! There's a good idea for women! It was a little too hard driving to the mall with a couch strapped to their ass!!!
This wouldn't be a bad job if people didn't come in here!
Marcy : We're having a new addition to our family!
Al : Shouldn't you be at home sitting on it to hatch?
Al : Cut to the left, cut to the left!!! Now!!! Go for the end zone!!
Bud : I thought you were looking at cheerleaders.
Al : I am. Damn cameraman's shooting their faces!!!
Marcy : I am Marcy Darcy here on behalf of the Coalition for the Esthetically Challenged.
Al : Challenged? I'd say defeated, exiled and left for dead!
No problem, I was on my way back to town to get a hernia operation anyway! Can I get anybody else a hundred pounds of anything?
Peg : You haven't been very nice to my family.
Al : Neither has nature, go bother it!
That's the sound of the axel hitting the ground. That means one of two things. Either Peg's family's in town or everybody in China just jumped off a chair.
I welcome death!
I saw your mother naked and everything went black!!! I think my eyes were trying to protect my heart!!!
Peggy : Why don't you take us all out for dinner?
Al : What the hell, kids, you never wanted to go to college anyway, did you?
Congratulations Peg, you've just won a trip to disneyfist!
If daddy gets the (electric) chair, will you sit on his lap one last time? (to Kelly)
5000 bucks for a Barbie doll??? A real woman isn't worth that much ...
We didn't break free from that pantsy country England by voting! We did it by throwing their stinkin' tea in our American harbour! And why? Because Americans don't like tea. We like coffee. And Americans don't like wine. We like beer. Ice cold. Ice-cold-best-in-a-bottle-but-fine-any-way-you-can-get-it-belchin. It would make a great movie! Better than that damn Columbus. wake-up-in-a-pool-of-it-next-day-beer!
Al (to a trio of fat women) : So do you really work for Victoria's Secret?
Fat Woman : Yes, we work for the plus size store for Victoria's Secret. It's called Victoria's BIG secret.
Al : I don't think Victoria can hold a secret this big.
The American justice system works! Beat the crap out of people before the judges let them go!
Peg : Ooh baby! Is that a nightstick or are you just happy to see me?
Al : It's a nightstick and I'm not afraid to use it!
Al : You'll never guess what I dreamt about at work today!
Peg : Me?
Al : Yes!
Peg : Was I in bed?
Al : Yes! As a matter of fact I'd tied you up!
Peg : Ooh Al, that's so kinky! What were you doing?
Al : Cindy Crawford!
Peg : Why don't you ever rock me, Al?
Al : 'Cause I'd rather stone you.
Pretty women make us BUY beer. Ugly women make us DRINK beer.
It's not for the dodge, it's for your mom, Peg, look it even comes in her size : astrooooo Vannnnn"
Entertainment for the cave man was simple : Man kills food, woman burns it, giant pterodactyl swoops down, chases woman, woman falls in mud. A good laugh is had by all.
Fat Woman : Do you always go to work wearing a suit and smelling like High Karate?
Al : No. Do you always go to work wearing curtains and smelling like Mars bars?
Four weddings and a funeral, where's the difference?
Well, according to my research, the cost of raising a baby from birth to college is approximately seven hundred and eighty thousand dollars. Thanks to my actually selling a shoe last week, I'm proud to say we're now just short seven hundred eighty thousand dollars. Thank you.
You know what I would do if I was President? I'd take a big empty state, that nobody's using, y'know, like Idaho, and I'd pack every pregnant woman in the country into donut trucks, and convoy 'em all to Boise. And since Idah means nothing anyhow, I'd change the name to Preg-naho.
Peg, did your mother get so fat she spread across the border?
This is my week off, so pack up, get the kids and I'll see you in a week.
There's only one dead guy in this mall and you're looking at him.
I'm so upset I can hardly eat this sandwich.
Am I truly nothing? Could the neighbourhood children be right?
I wish the world was a fly and I'm a giant rolled up newspaper.
Except for the day before the day I met you, this is the happiest day of my life.
Now wait a second. My pretty teenage daughter with the brain of a fruit-fly earned a thousand dollars in three nights. Should I be worried?
Stand back pumpkin. He's just about to pop and I don't want teeth and eyes all over you.
Old McBundy had a farm ... B-U-N-D-Y, and on this farm he had no wife, B-U-N-D-Y, and a no wife here and a no kids there, a hooker coming over on Friday nights ... Big luscious hooters, a pizza and a beer there ... old McBundy had a farm ... B-U-N-D-Y
Why doesn't the world die? .
Please, Peg, if you have any feelings for me, don't make me make love to you.
Milwaukee, That's the town they built around you mother isn't it, Peg?
I only saw the end credits of Shane until your mother lumbered in front of the TV. By the time she passed by, it was morning!
I begged for the death-penalty but they insisted that I learn a lesson.
Peg, this is your birthday, please don't make me kill you!
I'm a shoe man, born and bred, dammit.
The brain doesn't need blood. It just needs to be kept wet.
People who work putting shoes on fat women who wear dresses should not have 20/20 vision.
(To a fat woman) Let me explain. It's just like an elevator. There's a 2 ton weight limit on these shoes ...
I married you 'til death do us part. So when I'm dead, I'm free to date.
How many cradles have you robbed in your thousand years?
The last time she saw forty was 1840!
That's a solid $1.97 for me. After taxes, social security, and your mom, I just earned myself a cool nickel.
That's probably what it meant when my horoscope said "KABOOM!"
Al : Son, have I told you not to get married?
Bud : Yeah, dad.
Al : Have I told you not to become a shoe salesman?
Bud : Yeah, dad.
Al : I guess I told you everything I know then. !
Hey, Marcy, what's holding the towel up?
I never wanted to get married, I got married. Never wanted kids, I have 2 of them. Why the hell am I here?
Remember our motto : We ain't got it.
I'm going back to Chicago; where I only die a little every day.
I'm not paying for my mistakes. I've been doing that since I got married.
It's only a game if you win but if you lose it's a stinking waste of time.
If God had wanted women to play ball, he would've made them men.
Guys may come and guys may go, but daddy's always daddy ... well, at least until he jumps a freight train.
Why is it that Elvis is dead but I'm in hell?
We all have to live with our disappointments ... I have to sleep with mine.
Something sinister's going on, so I know a woman's behind it.
There's two things that the Bundy's don't do. We don't eat vegatables and we don't tap.
Life didn't pass me by, it sat on my head.
Computers and women are ruining the country.
Threats don't work on me ... I've already been to hell.
I'd rather dive of the Sears Tower head first into a thumbtack or bait a crocodile with my manhood ...
Not quite as old as the hair on your legs ...
That's what being a man is like : making mistakes and not caring.
You know Peg, for a bigfoot your mother is not bad.
Peg : Shall I get one of those? (mini skirts)
Al : Why?
... I want some form of dead animal on that table ... and I want that animal to be succulent.
Peggy : Am I getting old, Al?
Al : How do I know? I never look at you.
Forlorn Hope
leave me alone
TV sucks, only South Park is (very) cool
Oh, Tom Green is god too, and Jackass is funny sometimes.
Oh, Tom Green is god too, and Jackass is funny sometimes.
ashure
[The Acrobat of Life]
Ally is good.Al bundy is god,southpark is great too,yes yes yes..
but Jackass is the worst thing I've ever seen on tv.anyone remembers the episode with the guy who eats his own puke
?
arrhggghhhhhhhhhhh
but Jackass is the worst thing I've ever seen on tv.anyone remembers the episode with the guy who eats his own puke
?
arrhggghhhhhhhhhhh
Crack Hitler
homeless
You mean the one in which he made an omelet eating all the stuff (eggs, cheese, butter, etc, etc) and then vomited and cooked it?
Great stuff!
No, really. I think Jackass is one of the best entertainment you can have when you're drinking with friends (there's that damn drinking again!)
Great stuff!
No, really. I think Jackass is one of the best entertainment you can have when you're drinking with friends
(there's that damn drinking again!)
Originally posted by Crack Hitler
You mean the one in which he made an omelet eating all the stuff (eggs, cheese, butter, etc, etc) and then vomited and cooked it?
Great stuff!
it's a classic !!!
ashure
[The Acrobat of Life]
yes I'm talking about that omelet stuff..and if you really like that show I have news for you : YOU GUYS ARE DISGUSTINGGGG!!!!!!
ashure
[The Acrobat of Life]
and there's this program on mtv nowadays:'I bet you will'.
last week there was 3 girls, 2 of them were sucking the other's neck, almost her blood! it was red and purple all over.And the silly thing is the girl whose neck was fucked up took the less money.It's really interesting to see that there are this much stupid people in US.
last week there was 3 girls, 2 of them were sucking the other's neck, almost her blood! it was red and purple all over.And the silly thing is the girl whose neck was fucked up took the less money.It's really interesting to see that there are this much stupid people in US.
TV really sucks...
I sometimes watch th news while having lunch and once a month there's a good movie...that's all.
TV is evil...just fuck it.
I sometimes watch th news while having lunch and once a month there's a good movie...that's all.
TV is evil...just fuck it.
Don Corleone
Emre
Don Corleone
Emre
oh and how can one forget this:
Al Bundy: women are one of the world's greatest problems...AND THEY MUST BE STOPPED!
Al Bundy: women are one of the world's greatest problems...AND THEY MUST BE STOPPED!
Mick Moss
antimonger
I never watch tv anymore and i feel more awake. But i have a huge collection of tapes at home, like 400+ , and i think hardcore pornography is one of the best audio/visual artforms available. I cant wait until more money is available to these filmmakers so they can use quality equipment / quality actors and fantastic sets and lighting. oh the though of it .....
Lenore
human wrecking ball
