XENA Not to be confused with Warrior Princess
This week's 20 Questions is with Australia's answer to Sharon Osbourne! The lovely Miss Xena Bon Jovi! Xena has been involved in the metal scene in Melbourne and has the low down and many of the "rock stars", and other familiar faces involved. She'll enlighten us on such subjects as Spawny, Pegazus, anti-drug messages, abusing famous rock stars, the Espy's drink conspiracy, Edguy's makeup secret, and much more!
So here you go ladies and gentleman, UM Sludge part 3!
=============================================
1. What are you currently up to? This is your only chance to plug whatever it is you want to plug.
I am currently working on a huge Suicide Prevention Benefit to raise money for the Here For Life Foundation.Plus other projects that are hidden away in the depths of my brain.
2. What hard rock/heavy metal band should give up and call it a day?
Do you have the rest of the year for me to list them?....no...well I will say everyone of that nu metal crap.....
3. For $5000, and without letting anybody know you were paid to do it, which of the following would you do and why?
A. Walk up to 15 year old schoolboy, suck his penis, and walk off
B. Walk into the funeral of somebody you don't know, and yell out "I'm glad he's dead! That paedophile raped my child and deserved to die!" and walk out again
C. Have a naked photo of yourself used in a nationwide campaign about genital herpes
I would have to say C as I would never cause mental anguish to innocent victims as would happen in the others.
4. What metal clubs or venues did were you involved with in Melbourne? Which ones were good, which ones sucked, and why?
Hells kitchen at The Saloon Bar sucked as the owner of the venue was the biggest wanker.I came close to punching the fucker out when I quit and walked out on the club.
Millenium I felt rocked as the people who came seemed to enjoy themselves.I had heaps of fun aswell as the usual stress that comes with running a club.There was the odd wanker "rock star" who got under my skin but I soon fixed them with my proffesianal attitude as well as my what I call Sharon Osbourne inspired take no shit.
5. You play bass. Rate the following bassists on a scale of 1 to 10. 1 being about as good as Jimmy Barnes' voice and 10 being a bass god.
Dana Strum = 5 stick to producing and talent scouting
Steve Harris = 8.5 that demon is on fire
Nikki Sixx = 8 the reason I picked up my 1st bass
Gene Simmons = 4 on musical ability and sub zero for being sub human fuck wit
Rick Savage = 7 the new album rocks my bones...the song Now brings tears to my eyes
Cliff Burton = 8 will someone learn to bring back the dead Metallica have lost their way
Dave Ellefson = can we give added points because their hot if so 8.5 if not 7
Bobby Dall = 7 for playing ability add another point cause he does his make up better than me
Jerry Dixon = 6.....hey Jerry put that blob of a singer on a diet please
Alec Jon Such = 3 don't give up your day job as a motor bike mechanic!
6. Being actively involved in running metal clubs, do you find that being a woman makes doing business harder and people take you less seriously than they would if you were a man?
In some ways yes as there are the odd cock sucker who thinks they can be rude shits.The mentality of many musicians is ...oh a chick can i have a blow job..."No dickweed....you just lost the gig"
7. Which band in the Australian metal scene was the most difficult to deal with that you've come across so far?
Management wise -Sanity's Cage...the singer had no idea how to take criticsm from a female or how to follow a contract..neither did the bass player really.As well as Peguzus...they wasted a lot of my time and money.Assholes
8. Which Maiden Downunder member most needs a smack in the mouth and why?
Spawny for his lack of ability to apologise for the lesbian comment.
9. Rate the following guys on a scale of 1 to 10. 1 being someone with as much chance of getting into your pants as a really fat person has of putting them on, and 10 being someone who you wouldn't want to let out of them.
Jon Bon Jovi = 9 the longest crush i have had on a man ever since 1995 and back then I hated men
Mark Slaughter = 7 that baby face gets me every time
Paul Stanley = 6 just as long there is other women there as well
Arthur = minus 10 *shudders*
Troops = 7 you cheeky cheeky boy
Blas Elias = 5 never really got my motor running....much prefered Mark
Bret Michaels = 6-8 depends on my mood really
Tommy Lee = all those years ago 8 now 2
Spawny = 3 no forther comment here
Craig from Utopia = 100 even more hehehehe
Sebastian Bach = 4
Lord Tim = ummm what were we scaling again...oh look there is a squirel isn't it cute
Silvio from VP = 8 he is such a ladies man gotta give it a go
Ric from Anarion = 1 ugly man ugly attitude
Dirk from Edguy = 7 where for art thou Dirk
10. Rate the following girls on a scale of 1 to 10 now.
Bobbie Brown = 3 white trash personified
Pamela Anderson = 2 get over it it was Kid Rock who gave you HepC or some other rocker
Eff from Metal Warriors = 5 where are the breasts sorry Eff
That Metal Warriors chick you said was "FINE" = oh Sam gets 8
Lydia from Enter Twilight = 3 too sweet and innocent it is Lord Tim's job to rob her of that innocence
Shannon Tweed = ??? who is she when she is at home
Janet Gardener from Vixen = 4 I was more into Lita
Sharon Osbourne = 9 for her kick ass attitude
Lita Ford = 8 I won't be a blithering alco babe
Chrissy Steele = 8 sexy sexy sexy one fine young lady
Marge Simpson = 1 real please
Angelina Jolie = 100 I'll heal your broken heart sweety you shall never think of that old man ever again!
11. Who involved with the Melbourne metal scene would you most like to...
Punch in the face = Johnny Stoge
Have sex with = tough one here....can I toss a coin Silvio if so as heads came up
Erase from your memory = Arthur...please leave me alone I hate you and am in love with someone 100 times better
Have back in your life = not overly fussed here
Get revenge on = I don't do revenge well Karma Karma gotta keep good Karma
Cut off their hair = nothing would make me do that
12. Which do you prefer?
Warrant or Poison = Poison as at least they still all mostly look good and have done a half decent album of recent
Pretty Boy Floyd or Cats In Boots = Pretty Boy Floyd
Danny Cecati or the new Pegazus singer = Danny has more balls as much better person...plus he gave me good tips for keeping my hair healthy *thumbs up*
Eating pussy or sucking cock = depends on who I am doing it for
Utopia or Metal Mayhem = Utopia stock heaps of old stuff from the 80's better looking staff.
Melbourne or Sydney = Changes all the time at the moment here in Sydney is putting a smile on my face each day
David Lee Roth or Sammy Hagar = David the outfits take it for me.
Kymera or Sanity's Cage = Kymera much more proffesional
Makeup Kiss or Non-Makeup Kiss = None with Bruce and Singer
Firehouse or Slaughter = Firehouse
Vinyl or CD = depends on the album
13. Tell us what you remember most about meeting the following bands or rock stars?
Bon Jovi = the happiest day of my life...Jon touched this hand and kissed my cheek
Skid Row = long long day...waited from 6:30am till 4:30pm in the middle of the city in the middle of summer out the front of Brashs
Metallica = my mother telling anyone who would listen that Lars rang me and I was out on the Harbour with them
Kiss = wanting to punch out that fucker Gene,Ace is definately the Space Man
Ugly Kid Joe = could anyone eat more food I think not
Motley Crue = nearly slapping Vince for being a pig and trying to pick my girlfriend at the time up
Nelson = Pretty boys who new they were
Bruce Kulick = Cool easy going fella..
Eric Singer = what a short man he is
Warrant = never laughed so hard in my life
John Carobi = what a way to spend your b'day
Steve Vai = so down to earth could be mistaken for being part of it
Edguy = funy funny...realising what great invention make up and airbrushing was for Tobias and Dirk is a babe
Guns N Roses = Axl is a fuck wit and I told him so
14. What do you think of the way Sharon Osbourne manages her husband and appears to exploit his mental and physical state to make money?
She ain't doing no such thing...she just happens to be doing her job as a manager.So fucking what she is also married to him.Any other manager would be doing the same stuff management wise.
15. Has Xena ever:
Had a threesome with a guy and a girl = many times
Shagged a "rock star" (if yes, we want names!) = of course wait for the book on this one
Used hard drugs = unfortunately yes...children......"Don't take drugs"
Posed for nude photographs = yes
Been arrested = yes
Had sex in a public place = yes
Masturbated thinking about Spawny = no
Farted loudly on a train and pretended it wasn't you = who hasn't
Been caught doing rock star poses in the mirror = not that I know of
16. Are you still angry at Spawny for offending you with his comment about lesbians?
read question 8
17. For $100,000, would you sever Craig from Utopia's genitals? Not beyond recognition, but so that he could never have sex again, hence never have sex with you.
Hell no never ever ever.
18. Did you change your name to Xena because of the Warrior Princess?
One reason of many
19. If you are dating somebody, how long does it usually take for them to get into your pants?
depends on who thay are
20. Time for UM Sludge's word association! You know how this goes, we say a word and you explain the first thing you associate with it!
Pegazus = assholes
Utopia = hello baby...was it you who sent the roses
Spawny = apologise god damn it
Steve Ravic = *in a deep growl* Metal
Bill Gazarri = who Note: Owner of the famous Gazarri's metal club in LA in the '80s
Arthur = go away we will never get back together
Dungeon = great musos and people
Grunge = stay away forever
Porn = give me more
The Espy = your drinks are to expensive and whats with the watering down
Evil Eff = Bon Jovi all the way babe
Vanishing Point = I am waiting for the next album
=============================================
Now THAT is what I certainly call a brutally honest response! Brilliant stuff, and I think there is no way anybody can beat her for the Ballsack of Steel award, although we may have to change it to Breasts of Steel! That was damn good!
Let's recap shall we?
- Nu metal bands should call it a day (I drink to that!)
- Giving a blow job to a teenage guy would cause them mental anguish apparently... (???)
- Dave Ellefson is hot stuff, Bon Jovi's bassist gets 3/10
- Jani Lane is fat (like we didn't already know that)
- Sanity's Cage are unprofessional
- Spawny deserves a smack in the mouth (hands up who agrees? haha!)
- I'm sexier than her ex-fiance, and Blas Elias and Sebastian Bach who all the chicks love! Woohoo!
- Ric from Anarion is ugly and has an ugly attitude
- Lydia from Enter Twilight needs to be corrupted by Lord Tim
- Danny from Eyefear gives hair tips to girls
- She almost hit Vince Neil and told Axl he was a pig
- I think Tobias from Edguy wears makeup to cover his ugly face
- She's had many threesomes, been arrested, had nude photos taken, done hard drugs, and had sex in public... Sounds like something out of The Dirt!
- She'd rather have sex with Utopia dude than have $100,000
- The Espy water down their overpriced drinks
AND WE WANNA KNOW WHAT ROCK STARS YOU'VE GOT IN BED!
Until next time, I'm out like Vince Neil would've been if Xena whacked him one!
Axl Lee Rockett
This week's 20 Questions is with Australia's answer to Sharon Osbourne! The lovely Miss Xena Bon Jovi! Xena has been involved in the metal scene in Melbourne and has the low down and many of the "rock stars", and other familiar faces involved. She'll enlighten us on such subjects as Spawny, Pegazus, anti-drug messages, abusing famous rock stars, the Espy's drink conspiracy, Edguy's makeup secret, and much more!
So here you go ladies and gentleman, UM Sludge part 3!
=============================================
1. What are you currently up to? This is your only chance to plug whatever it is you want to plug.
I am currently working on a huge Suicide Prevention Benefit to raise money for the Here For Life Foundation.Plus other projects that are hidden away in the depths of my brain.
2. What hard rock/heavy metal band should give up and call it a day?
Do you have the rest of the year for me to list them?....no...well I will say everyone of that nu metal crap.....
3. For $5000, and without letting anybody know you were paid to do it, which of the following would you do and why?
A. Walk up to 15 year old schoolboy, suck his penis, and walk off
B. Walk into the funeral of somebody you don't know, and yell out "I'm glad he's dead! That paedophile raped my child and deserved to die!" and walk out again
C. Have a naked photo of yourself used in a nationwide campaign about genital herpes
I would have to say C as I would never cause mental anguish to innocent victims as would happen in the others.
4. What metal clubs or venues did were you involved with in Melbourne? Which ones were good, which ones sucked, and why?
Hells kitchen at The Saloon Bar sucked as the owner of the venue was the biggest wanker.I came close to punching the fucker out when I quit and walked out on the club.
Millenium I felt rocked as the people who came seemed to enjoy themselves.I had heaps of fun aswell as the usual stress that comes with running a club.There was the odd wanker "rock star" who got under my skin but I soon fixed them with my proffesianal attitude as well as my what I call Sharon Osbourne inspired take no shit.
5. You play bass. Rate the following bassists on a scale of 1 to 10. 1 being about as good as Jimmy Barnes' voice and 10 being a bass god.
Dana Strum = 5 stick to producing and talent scouting
Steve Harris = 8.5 that demon is on fire
Nikki Sixx = 8 the reason I picked up my 1st bass
Gene Simmons = 4 on musical ability and sub zero for being sub human fuck wit
Rick Savage = 7 the new album rocks my bones...the song Now brings tears to my eyes
Cliff Burton = 8 will someone learn to bring back the dead Metallica have lost their way
Dave Ellefson = can we give added points because their hot if so 8.5 if not 7
Bobby Dall = 7 for playing ability add another point cause he does his make up better than me
Jerry Dixon = 6.....hey Jerry put that blob of a singer on a diet please
Alec Jon Such = 3 don't give up your day job as a motor bike mechanic!
6. Being actively involved in running metal clubs, do you find that being a woman makes doing business harder and people take you less seriously than they would if you were a man?
In some ways yes as there are the odd cock sucker who thinks they can be rude shits.The mentality of many musicians is ...oh a chick can i have a blow job..."No dickweed....you just lost the gig"
7. Which band in the Australian metal scene was the most difficult to deal with that you've come across so far?
Management wise -Sanity's Cage...the singer had no idea how to take criticsm from a female or how to follow a contract..neither did the bass player really.As well as Peguzus...they wasted a lot of my time and money.Assholes
8. Which Maiden Downunder member most needs a smack in the mouth and why?
Spawny for his lack of ability to apologise for the lesbian comment.
9. Rate the following guys on a scale of 1 to 10. 1 being someone with as much chance of getting into your pants as a really fat person has of putting them on, and 10 being someone who you wouldn't want to let out of them.
Jon Bon Jovi = 9 the longest crush i have had on a man ever since 1995 and back then I hated men
Mark Slaughter = 7 that baby face gets me every time
Paul Stanley = 6 just as long there is other women there as well
Arthur = minus 10 *shudders*
Troops = 7 you cheeky cheeky boy
Blas Elias = 5 never really got my motor running....much prefered Mark
Bret Michaels = 6-8 depends on my mood really
Tommy Lee = all those years ago 8 now 2
Spawny = 3 no forther comment here
Craig from Utopia = 100 even more hehehehe
Sebastian Bach = 4
Lord Tim = ummm what were we scaling again...oh look there is a squirel isn't it cute
Silvio from VP = 8 he is such a ladies man gotta give it a go
Ric from Anarion = 1 ugly man ugly attitude
Dirk from Edguy = 7 where for art thou Dirk
10. Rate the following girls on a scale of 1 to 10 now.
Bobbie Brown = 3 white trash personified
Pamela Anderson = 2 get over it it was Kid Rock who gave you HepC or some other rocker
Eff from Metal Warriors = 5 where are the breasts sorry Eff
That Metal Warriors chick you said was "FINE" = oh Sam gets 8
Lydia from Enter Twilight = 3 too sweet and innocent it is Lord Tim's job to rob her of that innocence
Shannon Tweed = ??? who is she when she is at home
Janet Gardener from Vixen = 4 I was more into Lita
Sharon Osbourne = 9 for her kick ass attitude
Lita Ford = 8 I won't be a blithering alco babe
Chrissy Steele = 8 sexy sexy sexy one fine young lady
Marge Simpson = 1 real please
Angelina Jolie = 100 I'll heal your broken heart sweety you shall never think of that old man ever again!
11. Who involved with the Melbourne metal scene would you most like to...
Punch in the face = Johnny Stoge
Have sex with = tough one here....can I toss a coin Silvio if so as heads came up
Erase from your memory = Arthur...please leave me alone I hate you and am in love with someone 100 times better
Have back in your life = not overly fussed here
Get revenge on = I don't do revenge well Karma Karma gotta keep good Karma
Cut off their hair = nothing would make me do that
12. Which do you prefer?
Warrant or Poison = Poison as at least they still all mostly look good and have done a half decent album of recent
Pretty Boy Floyd or Cats In Boots = Pretty Boy Floyd
Danny Cecati or the new Pegazus singer = Danny has more balls as much better person...plus he gave me good tips for keeping my hair healthy *thumbs up*
Eating pussy or sucking cock = depends on who I am doing it for
Utopia or Metal Mayhem = Utopia stock heaps of old stuff from the 80's better looking staff.
Melbourne or Sydney = Changes all the time at the moment here in Sydney is putting a smile on my face each day
David Lee Roth or Sammy Hagar = David the outfits take it for me.
Kymera or Sanity's Cage = Kymera much more proffesional
Makeup Kiss or Non-Makeup Kiss = None with Bruce and Singer
Firehouse or Slaughter = Firehouse
Vinyl or CD = depends on the album
13. Tell us what you remember most about meeting the following bands or rock stars?
Bon Jovi = the happiest day of my life...Jon touched this hand and kissed my cheek
Skid Row = long long day...waited from 6:30am till 4:30pm in the middle of the city in the middle of summer out the front of Brashs
Metallica = my mother telling anyone who would listen that Lars rang me and I was out on the Harbour with them
Kiss = wanting to punch out that fucker Gene,Ace is definately the Space Man
Ugly Kid Joe = could anyone eat more food I think not
Motley Crue = nearly slapping Vince for being a pig and trying to pick my girlfriend at the time up
Nelson = Pretty boys who new they were
Bruce Kulick = Cool easy going fella..
Eric Singer = what a short man he is
Warrant = never laughed so hard in my life
John Carobi = what a way to spend your b'day
Steve Vai = so down to earth could be mistaken for being part of it
Edguy = funy funny...realising what great invention make up and airbrushing was for Tobias and Dirk is a babe
Guns N Roses = Axl is a fuck wit and I told him so
14. What do you think of the way Sharon Osbourne manages her husband and appears to exploit his mental and physical state to make money?
She ain't doing no such thing...she just happens to be doing her job as a manager.So fucking what she is also married to him.Any other manager would be doing the same stuff management wise.
15. Has Xena ever:
Had a threesome with a guy and a girl = many times
Shagged a "rock star" (if yes, we want names!) = of course wait for the book on this one
Used hard drugs = unfortunately yes...children......"Don't take drugs"
Posed for nude photographs = yes
Been arrested = yes
Had sex in a public place = yes
Masturbated thinking about Spawny = no
Farted loudly on a train and pretended it wasn't you = who hasn't
Been caught doing rock star poses in the mirror = not that I know of
16. Are you still angry at Spawny for offending you with his comment about lesbians?
read question 8
17. For $100,000, would you sever Craig from Utopia's genitals? Not beyond recognition, but so that he could never have sex again, hence never have sex with you.
Hell no never ever ever.
18. Did you change your name to Xena because of the Warrior Princess?
One reason of many
19. If you are dating somebody, how long does it usually take for them to get into your pants?
depends on who thay are
20. Time for UM Sludge's word association! You know how this goes, we say a word and you explain the first thing you associate with it!
Pegazus = assholes
Utopia = hello baby...was it you who sent the roses
Spawny = apologise god damn it
Steve Ravic = *in a deep growl* Metal
Bill Gazarri = who Note: Owner of the famous Gazarri's metal club in LA in the '80s
Arthur = go away we will never get back together
Dungeon = great musos and people
Grunge = stay away forever
Porn = give me more
The Espy = your drinks are to expensive and whats with the watering down
Evil Eff = Bon Jovi all the way babe
Vanishing Point = I am waiting for the next album
=============================================
Now THAT is what I certainly call a brutally honest response! Brilliant stuff, and I think there is no way anybody can beat her for the Ballsack of Steel award, although we may have to change it to Breasts of Steel! That was damn good!
Let's recap shall we?
- Nu metal bands should call it a day (I drink to that!)
- Giving a blow job to a teenage guy would cause them mental anguish apparently... (???)
- Dave Ellefson is hot stuff, Bon Jovi's bassist gets 3/10
- Jani Lane is fat (like we didn't already know that)
- Sanity's Cage are unprofessional
- Spawny deserves a smack in the mouth (hands up who agrees? haha!)
- I'm sexier than her ex-fiance, and Blas Elias and Sebastian Bach who all the chicks love! Woohoo!
- Ric from Anarion is ugly and has an ugly attitude
- Lydia from Enter Twilight needs to be corrupted by Lord Tim
- Danny from Eyefear gives hair tips to girls
- She almost hit Vince Neil and told Axl he was a pig
- I think Tobias from Edguy wears makeup to cover his ugly face
- She's had many threesomes, been arrested, had nude photos taken, done hard drugs, and had sex in public... Sounds like something out of The Dirt!
- She'd rather have sex with Utopia dude than have $100,000
- The Espy water down their overpriced drinks
AND WE WANNA KNOW WHAT ROCK STARS YOU'VE GOT IN BED!
Until next time, I'm out like Vince Neil would've been if Xena whacked him one!
Axl Lee Rockett
