What would you do if you had an absurd amount of money?

I'd buy Chippendales and have their most sexy dancers accompany me wherever I went.
 
I would use it to prevent my mother from selling my house in Maine after my father dies, so I can live there forever.
 
We own two houses. One on Westport Island, Maine and a condo in Arlington, Massachusetts. If my mother outlives my father for too long, she might have to sell the Maine house to pay for her living in her old age. Hopefully by then I can afford to hold on to the island house. It's my favorite thing in the world.
 
I'd buy MTV and get rid of everything on there, making it Metal TV.

I'd also make soulja boy lose all his money and force him to become my personal butler.
 
This is funny cuz I had a dream last week I won the power ball so I'm buying powerballs from now on. I was talking to my grandpa and my vocalist about what I'd do with the money.

1. Buy my mom, sister, and grandpa new cars and houses.
2. Buy a new car for me, then my girlfriend. And a new house.
3. A house simply for recording and jamming.
4. New gear. Custom guitars, multiple stacks, new drums, the works.
5. Recording studio for the house.
6. Countless CDs, vinyls, tapes, etc.
7. Someone mentioned heroin. I like that too.
 
I'd also make soulja boy lose all his money and force him to become my personal butler.

No fucking way. Soulja Boy isn't even qualified to clean my toilet. I would pay him $10 so me & my friends can piss on him all night as we get really drunk. Basically I wouldn't let him clean my toilet, he can be my toilet.
 
- charity which actually will matter and make a difference
- albums, albums, albums, albums
- arena metal show, arena metal show, arena metal show
- creating the perfect bride from scrap parts
- rebuilding Discovery Zones across the country only larger so adults can rule in them instead
- yacht
- unlimited leather
- unlimited metal
- unlimited food
 
I would do a lot of things.

- Build three houses; one here (in Illinois), in Italy (to takeover my family's crime syndicate) and one somewhere in Europe, to go to Wacken and all of the other metalfests. My main house will have a bunch of really nice shit like a large studio, full underground gym with a running track and racquetball courts, indoor/outdoor pool etc. Also, I'll have a Toyota Landcruiser and Lamborghini Murcielago.
- Buy the San Francisco Giants and have GM responsibilities. Also donate millions to the GB Packers and insert self as co-gm with Thompson. I'll also find a new head coach.
- Buy Microsoft and make it better (create a garageband equivalent, destroy Apple)
- Create my own label, recruit several big name metal bands and invest millions into strengthening the metal industry.
- Create own bass/guitar brands. They will be the best in the market, for the highest price.
- Invest heavily in various things to ensure my family will always be wealthy
- Donate millions to Americans United for Separation of Church and State, Humane Society, etc

I'd also build large metal venues that aren't pieces of shit. There would be a great restaurant, a lot of seating, etc. Also there would be a nice hotel and small air strip for the bands attached to it.