Christ, where to begin?
One time I was getting drunk in a graveyard with some girl. She said she had to go pee and went off behind this large tombstone. I snuck up behind her and shouted fucking "BOO!". She got kinda mad and ran back to her car (mind you she was a lacross athlete and I am not such a good runner with New Rock's on) and took off, leaving me in a giant graveyard 5 miles away from my car, with a bunch of empty bottles and patrol cars circling the area.
A year ago I had this party and my roommates friends were stealing my beers after I had instructed them not too. So I started drinking as fast as I could so they couldn't get any, something like 16 beers in 2 hours, plus a half bottle of rum and some vodka shots. I tried standing up and fell into the door causing the doorknob to put a giant hole in the wall, then I vomited all over the floor and passed out to the words "Shaun's out!".
After another marathon drinking binge, I fell into the wall at my friends apartment and smacked my head quite hard. Then I passed out and had some delusion that there were 3 soldiers at the door telling me I had to evacuate the building as there was a bomb in it. I took off in my car, somehow ended up at a payphone where I called my friend to warn him about the bomb. Guess I was feeling guilty about leaving him behind to be blown up by my imaginary explosives. He told me I was a retard.
I got really drunk at the pub and tried fighting a group of mexican artists as they were vandalizing the place. I won. Mexican artists aren't good fighters.
I once woke up laying on someone's porch with my belt missing.
I'm gonna end here.
when all the bosses were looking and that haha 
