Why must so many pretty women in the South be crazy Christians?
- Thread starter Palabra de Dios
- Start date
ICEDEARTHFAN
IN MEMORY.....
edgeofthorns
24 Hours Ago...
Well, if you're seriously dating someone who is of complete opposite faith or a believer to non-believer isn't a good idea to begin with. Everyone needs to be their own person in a relationship, but complete polar opposites is a recipe for disaster. In other words, a Christian being married to an athiest isn't going to work out, period.
~Brian~
spag
I am a leaf on the wind
I don't agree. It really depends on where you see it going. I personally know several "mixed" couples. In both cases, the wife goes to church and is a believer, the husband is not. I think they truly love each other and each respect the others opinions. I've personally dated several girls long term (1.5 & 5 years) that were Christian. The 1.5 year relationship was strained a few times, but mostly because of family that were true nutjobs.
Get to know the girls, and see where it goes. I dated this awesome girl when I lived in AL once. You would really be put off initially, as her father was a minister in a little church in GA...total speaking in tongues and flopping around in the aisles kind of church. She went because of family, but she wasn't really into it. She had her own beliefs, which didn't cause a problem with me, and we had an awesome time together. Very hard to judge a book by it's cover. I have other examples as well.
Just get to know them.
freakchylde
PPUSA Driver o' Doom!!!!!
I have to be on the BS side of things. I've dated pagans and non-pagans +atheists, you get the same stuff regardless the faith. The main issue are the two people involved and whether or not it's something they can share and/or work around the differences. For me, personally, it's about sharing spiritual experiences, the only issue I've had with that, is my mate refusing to come and attend circle on the sheer fact that he doesn't believe in it, therefore he can gain nothing from the experience, because his mind is closed to that opportunity. If the mind is open, then so is the heart, regardless the faith/beliefs.
*and this is coming from a pagan who greatly enjoys catholic-style masses and found the greatest amount of sheer spiritual energy at St Paul's Basilica in Rome and the rural areas of Norway - but only because I haven't been to pre-Christian Celtic locals, yet.
booB
Señor Member
Whatever... those reality shows are all fake. Everyone knows an alien would NEVER really eat cats.
edgeofthorns
24 Hours Ago...
That's impressive! I've never witnessed it, but in special cases where both people are mature, it might work out.
~Brian~
Bear
Got Shred??
Disturbing to you maybe...but not to us conservative Christian males that can relate to them. Convert or be lonely...it's up to you.
I read this: Covert, resistance is futile, you will be assimilated
Bear
Rycher
Oskee Wow Wow!
To the original poster:
I don't see what's wrong with converting if you meet the right person. My friend was a very strict athiest in college, and ended up converting to Judaism after he fell in love with her and discovered that religion isn't the worst thing in the world.
You are automatically dismissing these women for "being crazy Christians." Maybe if you actually got to know them, you'd end up finding out that they're actually really great people, and that there are varying degrees of spirituality and faith.
I don't see what's wrong with converting if you meet the right person. My friend was a very strict athiest in college, and ended up converting to Judaism after he fell in love with her and discovered that religion isn't the worst thing in the world.
You are automatically dismissing these women for "being crazy Christians." Maybe if you actually got to know them, you'd end up finding out that they're actually really great people, and that there are varying degrees of spirituality and faith.
freakchylde
PPUSA Driver o' Doom!!!!!
That only works if he's not already where he needs to be and the religion of his partner ends up working for him. Of course, there's the chance that it could happen the other way around, and she converts.
lady_space
Porno kitty
I have plenty of friends whose opinions and ideology are quite different from mine, and generally speaking, we get on okay. I don't discuss Palestine with some of my Jewish friends, and I am trying to avoid politics with some others because it just frustrates me and makes me feel like they're condescending to me. I like them, so I focus on that fact rather than the things that drive me apeshit.
(That said, I also have several friends with different POVs who I feel like I can discuss anything with.)That said, I am an atheist and I have felt the pain of that whole "coming out" thing as well. I don't exactly advertise, but I absolutely do not hide the fact either. I am comfortable with what I think, and I don't brook any nonsense about it. My husband and I don't have viewpoints on religion & spirituality that match exactly, but they are close enough for gub'ment work, as I like to say.
Maybe I am closed-minded according to some, but I honestly don't think I could be in a serious, long-term relationship with someone who was a serious Christian. Kudos to those who work it out, but I just don't think I could. I honestly just don't see how it could really work with diametrically opposed beliefs.I'm not saying I disagree with anyone who has advised you to try to get to know girls who may be Christians, but I'm also not going to say I don't understand how you feel. It's a deal-breaker for me. *shrug* Just my opinion, not necessarily advice.
--signed, crazy non-Christian Southern woman
Reverend Su
Member
I have plenty of friends whose opinions and ideology are quite different from mine, and generally speaking, we get on okay. I don't discuss Palestine with some of my Jewish friends, and I am trying to avoid politics with some others because it just frustrates me and makes me feel like they're condescending to me. I like them, so I focus on that fact rather than the things that drive me apeshit.
...
--signed, crazy non-Christian Southern woman
oh yeah - there are a NUMBER of people with whom i will not discuss any type or religious or socio-political things with...just because they are staunchly on one side and i am on the other side.
there are people who have some of the same beliefs that i have, but because we come at it from different perspectives, we disagree on things there, as well
so it's all up to the individuals - if you are both comfortable with the sitch, you're the only ones that need be ok with it--religious, political, socio-economic, choice of underwear...whatever it is, it matters to those involved and outsiders be damned (or simply mocked at your leisure)
--Rev Su
Chai
Marching with Mephisto
- Dec 6, 2006
- 103
- 0
- 16
I'm going to do something I've never done before, and attempt to respond to the thread as a whole, point for point, of people that have made points I'd like to respond to. I didn't copy any names, mainly to respond to what was written, rather than the person. Keep in mind, I am writing this from a Christian standpoint. The purpose I have here is to respond to what I believe are several of the common misconceptions of Christians, to shed some light from a Christian perspective. You may not agree with everything I say, and that is fine, just understand where I'm coming from. It's going to be long, sorry.
While I agree with him that this "trend" is disturbing primarily to you, I don't agree with his "Convert or be lonely" attitude. Coming from a Christian, he should really know better. Coming to Christ is a transformation of the heart, simply throwing in the towel and saying "alright God, I guess you'll do as long as I get these women to like me" would be lying about who you are in every sense.
I think that this is a quite sad, and all to common view of Christianity. Many non-Christians like to look at a select group of Christians, be it people they know, or people they see on TV, and basically stereotype the entirety of those following Christ into that mold. Having been an atheist, I can say that I once held a similar viewpoint. I would go to church with my parents, see kids that I went to school with, and people I knew in the community, praying their little hearts out on Sunday, and then see these same people partying, having affairs, cheating, etc. And so I developed my view of Christians into this group of hypocrites. I blinded myself to the really decent people there, and just judged them all to be liars without really knowing anything about them. As a Christian now, I have met some of the most loving and moral people I've ever known.
Fact: Becoming a Christian and following Christ doesn't make you a perfect person. If anything, becoming a Christian puts a mirror up to you and reveals all the sinfulness in your life, and convicts you as to how badly you need salvation. So to see a person fail is natural, we are all fallen to begin with. However, there is a certain standard that Christians should hold themselves to, as wallowing in your sinful ways just because you believe you will be forgiven isn't how it works. Without true repentance, how can you believe in what you claim? You might as well call yourself an atheist. However, to judge how honest a person's claim to being a Christian based on seeing them sin is hasty and foolish.
I agree with almost everything you say here. It's been my experience that you will very often run across what I've grown to call "cultural Christians", people that were raised in a Christian home, and have never really thought about what the faith means to them. I cannot say whether many of these people simply tack on the moniker of "Christian" to identify themselves in their society, or if they truly want to have a relationship with God. That's not for me to judge. However, I would guess that from what I've learned from personal talks I've had with people, this is a pretty common thing.
I am in agreement with you that these people need to look at what they claim to believe and see how much they truly honor. I would almost rather these people lose their hollow "faith", and be able to come to God on their own terms, for real. That might sound cold, but I would rather someone be searching than to believe they are already saved, despite the fact that they don't really care anything about walking with the Lord.
I would be interested in knowing exactly how a person is limited by being a Christian. I've seen you mention parties and casual sex as part of the "No Christian should be doing these things!" category. If you think about it, really try to list the things you think a Christian young person is limited from doing, if they honestly try to follow the teachings of Jesus: Hating others, drinking in excess, doing drugs, having casual sex. After that, the list gets kind of thin. And in reality, are any of those things really that good for you in the first place? The only one I guess I could see you arguing is the casual premarital sex, which is really just the pursuit of lust. Honestly, it's pretty animalistic if you think about it, and what do you risk along with it? Pregnancy and STDs. And just look at what you get in return for all your "imitations": a relationship with your creator, a place in the loving family of your church, something to believe in, firm moral guidance, etc. Now you'll dismiss half of my list off the bat because I'm biased, and those things mean nothing to you, you don't believe in a creator, blah blah blah. I know all that already, just making my point.
Honestly, Christianity is more about freedom than you'd think. Christ's death was all about freeing man from the shackles of sin. Now, does he call us to continue sinning just because we're saved? Of course not.
There is some truth in this statement. Many non-Christians, whether they be atheists or another religion, don't really know that much about Christianity. They know how they see Christians on TV, their preconceptions, etc. I think it leads to a lot of misconceptions. The same is true of Christians misconceptions of other religions though. Having been an atheist, I've seen a lot of sides and researched a lot of religions, and I'm still not pretentious enough to say that I could sit down and thoroughly explain the belief structure and moral code of the majority of world religions. It wouldn't kill most people to care enough to learn more about their fellow man.
Well, there shouldn't be persecution or uncormfortableness when you hang out with Christians. The Christian is not called upon to judge you for not being one of them. Despite popular belief, they aren't called to "tolerate" you either. They are called to love you, regardless of what you believe. Remind them of this the next time you feel shunned by Christians, they might need some convicting. But please don't be a prick about it.
First, your statement seems to say that you have to ignore your beliefs to hang out with Christian women. That seems just silly. Provided you don't try to mock their beliefs, there shouldn't be any reason you couldn't simply hang out with them. Don't put yourself in a situation where you feel like you have to not be yourself. It isn't fair to you or the people you are with. If you have to, agree to disagree.
And if the most important parts of who you are centered about your lack of belief, that seems like a very hollow life to me. A religious person (should) put God, and how they relate to God, in the middle of who they are. If a person has no god, it would make sense for that person to put the thing that is most important to them in the center of their being. If the absence of God is the center of who you are, ask yourself why.
I've always found that people that need to keep telling you how "moral" and great they are, are really more about trying to convince you and themselves of it. Here's the thing: Anyone can get out there and try to help people. It's the reasons why they do it that count. If you're just out giving money to homeless people because it makes you feel good, then you're really just in it for you, for some reason to feel good about yourself. And be honest, most people like this will usually run around and tell everyone how great they've been, and the good they've done. Christians are called to do for others to glorify God, to help others because He has asked it of you. To go around telling everyone what they've done would just to be glorify themselves. You'd be surprised what people do for one another that never gets told.
And to wrap it up, on the original topic:
The Bible tells Christians not to be "yoked with nonbelievers. Because how can light come from darkness?" It doesn't mean it can't be done, but it can put quite a strain on a relationship, depending on how much faith plays a part in each partner's life. As an atheist, I was in relationships with Christians, and in a relationship with another atheist. Honestly, it's easier when both people share the same goals. Clearly, a Christian cannot share a meaningful relationship that glorifies God (which is what most true Christians want) with an atheist. I think it's easier for the atheist in this situation. They aren't really having to sacrifice much, as they are only serving themselves in the first place. It's not how I believe relationships were designed, but as many have said, it's doable.
If anyone has any questions about what I've written here, I'd love to talk more about it. Just not right this moment, my hands are a bit tired
While I agree with him that this "trend" is disturbing primarily to you, I don't agree with his "Convert or be lonely" attitude. Coming from a Christian, he should really know better. Coming to Christ is a transformation of the heart, simply throwing in the towel and saying "alright God, I guess you'll do as long as I get these women to like me" would be lying about who you are in every sense.
I think that this is a quite sad, and all to common view of Christianity. Many non-Christians like to look at a select group of Christians, be it people they know, or people they see on TV, and basically stereotype the entirety of those following Christ into that mold. Having been an atheist, I can say that I once held a similar viewpoint. I would go to church with my parents, see kids that I went to school with, and people I knew in the community, praying their little hearts out on Sunday, and then see these same people partying, having affairs, cheating, etc. And so I developed my view of Christians into this group of hypocrites. I blinded myself to the really decent people there, and just judged them all to be liars without really knowing anything about them. As a Christian now, I have met some of the most loving and moral people I've ever known.
Fact: Becoming a Christian and following Christ doesn't make you a perfect person. If anything, becoming a Christian puts a mirror up to you and reveals all the sinfulness in your life, and convicts you as to how badly you need salvation. So to see a person fail is natural, we are all fallen to begin with. However, there is a certain standard that Christians should hold themselves to, as wallowing in your sinful ways just because you believe you will be forgiven isn't how it works. Without true repentance, how can you believe in what you claim? You might as well call yourself an atheist. However, to judge how honest a person's claim to being a Christian based on seeing them sin is hasty and foolish.
I agree with almost everything you say here. It's been my experience that you will very often run across what I've grown to call "cultural Christians", people that were raised in a Christian home, and have never really thought about what the faith means to them. I cannot say whether many of these people simply tack on the moniker of "Christian" to identify themselves in their society, or if they truly want to have a relationship with God. That's not for me to judge. However, I would guess that from what I've learned from personal talks I've had with people, this is a pretty common thing.
I am in agreement with you that these people need to look at what they claim to believe and see how much they truly honor. I would almost rather these people lose their hollow "faith", and be able to come to God on their own terms, for real. That might sound cold, but I would rather someone be searching than to believe they are already saved, despite the fact that they don't really care anything about walking with the Lord.
I would be interested in knowing exactly how a person is limited by being a Christian. I've seen you mention parties and casual sex as part of the "No Christian should be doing these things!" category. If you think about it, really try to list the things you think a Christian young person is limited from doing, if they honestly try to follow the teachings of Jesus: Hating others, drinking in excess, doing drugs, having casual sex. After that, the list gets kind of thin. And in reality, are any of those things really that good for you in the first place? The only one I guess I could see you arguing is the casual premarital sex, which is really just the pursuit of lust. Honestly, it's pretty animalistic if you think about it, and what do you risk along with it? Pregnancy and STDs. And just look at what you get in return for all your "imitations": a relationship with your creator, a place in the loving family of your church, something to believe in, firm moral guidance, etc. Now you'll dismiss half of my list off the bat because I'm biased, and those things mean nothing to you, you don't believe in a creator, blah blah blah. I know all that already, just making my point.
Honestly, Christianity is more about freedom than you'd think. Christ's death was all about freeing man from the shackles of sin. Now, does he call us to continue sinning just because we're saved? Of course not.
There is some truth in this statement. Many non-Christians, whether they be atheists or another religion, don't really know that much about Christianity. They know how they see Christians on TV, their preconceptions, etc. I think it leads to a lot of misconceptions. The same is true of Christians misconceptions of other religions though. Having been an atheist, I've seen a lot of sides and researched a lot of religions, and I'm still not pretentious enough to say that I could sit down and thoroughly explain the belief structure and moral code of the majority of world religions. It wouldn't kill most people to care enough to learn more about their fellow man.
Well, there shouldn't be persecution or uncormfortableness when you hang out with Christians. The Christian is not called upon to judge you for not being one of them. Despite popular belief, they aren't called to "tolerate" you either. They are called to love you, regardless of what you believe. Remind them of this the next time you feel shunned by Christians, they might need some convicting. But please don't be a prick about it
.First, your statement seems to say that you have to ignore your beliefs to hang out with Christian women. That seems just silly. Provided you don't try to mock their beliefs, there shouldn't be any reason you couldn't simply hang out with them. Don't put yourself in a situation where you feel like you have to not be yourself. It isn't fair to you or the people you are with. If you have to, agree to disagree.
And if the most important parts of who you are centered about your lack of belief, that seems like a very hollow life to me. A religious person (should) put God, and how they relate to God, in the middle of who they are. If a person has no god, it would make sense for that person to put the thing that is most important to them in the center of their being. If the absence of God is the center of who you are, ask yourself why.
I've always found that people that need to keep telling you how "moral" and great they are, are really more about trying to convince you and themselves of it. Here's the thing: Anyone can get out there and try to help people. It's the reasons why they do it that count. If you're just out giving money to homeless people because it makes you feel good, then you're really just in it for you, for some reason to feel good about yourself. And be honest, most people like this will usually run around and tell everyone how great they've been, and the good they've done. Christians are called to do for others to glorify God, to help others because He has asked it of you. To go around telling everyone what they've done would just to be glorify themselves. You'd be surprised what people do for one another that never gets told.
And to wrap it up, on the original topic:
The Bible tells Christians not to be "yoked with nonbelievers. Because how can light come from darkness?" It doesn't mean it can't be done, but it can put quite a strain on a relationship, depending on how much faith plays a part in each partner's life. As an atheist, I was in relationships with Christians, and in a relationship with another atheist. Honestly, it's easier when both people share the same goals. Clearly, a Christian cannot share a meaningful relationship that glorifies God (which is what most true Christians want) with an atheist. I think it's easier for the atheist in this situation. They aren't really having to sacrifice much, as they are only serving themselves in the first place. It's not how I believe relationships were designed, but as many have said, it's doable.
If anyone has any questions about what I've written here, I'd love to talk more about it. Just not right this moment, my hands are a bit tired
Clark Griswold
WallyWorld anyone?
Man...what a topic.
I live in Louisiana...Lake Charles to be exact. Bout 120 east of Houston. I'm Catholic, a cop (Homicide Detective) and a metalhead. Talk about a combo. I don't push my religion on anyone and don't expect it in return. I am fair minded when it comes to liberal/conservative issues. I am a registered Republican but I am not toooo conservative (only in military,tax and public "help" issues). The women here are HOT! But I find they are more drinkers and like to have a good time than your typical bible thumpers. Once you start a little north, you get into hardcore Pentecostal country. Snoozefest spaghetti dinners start here.
I always find myself not necessarily in a debate with liberal thinkers, but more of an exchange of information. My catholicism doesn't stop me from still wondering what is really going on. I am open to any conversation.
I live in Louisiana...Lake Charles to be exact. Bout 120 east of Houston. I'm Catholic, a cop (Homicide Detective) and a metalhead. Talk about a combo. I don't push my religion on anyone and don't expect it in return. I am fair minded when it comes to liberal/conservative issues. I am a registered Republican but I am not toooo conservative (only in military,tax and public "help" issues). The women here are HOT! But I find they are more drinkers and like to have a good time than your typical bible thumpers. Once you start a little north, you get into hardcore Pentecostal country. Snoozefest spaghetti dinners start here.
I always find myself not necessarily in a debate with liberal thinkers, but more of an exchange of information. My catholicism doesn't stop me from still wondering what is really going on. I am open to any conversation.
PatrickHoyt
The Darkitecht
That's why I basically said you'd be amazed at how many people actually say they're Christians and don't act like it. I didn't say ALL Christians are like that and put ALL Christians into that stereotype. My viewpoints don't matter in this thread and I don't care to bring them up whether Im a Christian, Atheist, Pagan, Wiccan, or whatever else I don't think it matters to the initial subject as to what I believe so I approached it from an outside sort of view using the (if they truly believe in Hell) comment.
That being said I know there are some really awesome people out there, that aren't hypocritical when it comes to being a Christian, but one reason I can't stand Church is because of what you described. I haven't blinded myself to to the decent people, I've found a good bit of the decent ones and I'm pretty good friends with them; So, I haven't judged all of them to be liars without knowing anything about them. I actually hold these very same discussions with those people too, and they more or less agree with me.
Just wanted to clarify.
Chai
Marching with Mephisto
- Dec 6, 2006
- 103
- 0
- 16
I hear you man. One of the reasons I left the names off of the quotes I took from this thread was to attempt to not speak to the individuals who wrote them, as one cannot determine the character or intent of a man by his words on an online forum alone . My response there was mostly just a view at my own former point-of-view, without the assumption that others share it now, but that some who do might feel some common understanding. So I do appreciate your response, and I hope you didn't think I was calling you out personally.
. My response there was mostly just a view at my own former point-of-view, without the assumption that others share it now, but that some who do might feel some common understanding. So I do appreciate your response, and I hope you didn't think I was calling you out personally.
SharkBlack
Member
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