Would you sex krampus?

[Onder]

Hello friends,

I woke up today and I felt really good, but also quite horny. Yesterday I had few good beers with friends and we laughed at some dumb chick who called me a homosexual multiple times because of "the homosexual questions" I was asking her. I was quite confused because I saw no connection. She is also ugly as shit and my friend "cattle" likes her. He is no model either and to watch him admit feelings was like to watch a bear read poetry. After every few verses the bear throws the book on the ground and smashes it with its erect dick I CAN'T READ POEMS I'M A FUCKING BEAR I NEED TO ENDANGER PEOPLE NOT FUCKING CRY. Edgar Allan Poe gains tragedy points by being smeared with a blood of a bear genitalia as another day in sad, unjust lands ends.

One would think I'd have at least a slight hangover because last time I had as much I eptied my belly the upper way. The meal was unrecognizable and covered in vivid yellow foams. But no, I woke up with a boner today. Now, who would I fuck with this dick?

My cock feels like fucking, but sometimes my brain feels like keeping my member in my pants and feast on the prey with my swollen skinny hands. It's just a feeling though. It's strangely hypothetical. I also don't have any female human asian friends so these waters are something new to me. Even the thought of harrasing a yellow girl feels like walking on ice.

And well, krampus. What's the general consensus on her?

I guess fingering her wet pussy would feel good wouldn't it? And holding her japanese ass while breathing heavily on her neck.

It just feels like something wrong and exciting as fuck and I CAN'T DECIDE! FUCK FUCK FUCKůůů

Either I am a bear trying to absorb poetry with my dong, or maybe I'm a gypsy boy who wants to fuck and aged and understood another level of gypsy rules. Maybe it's gaining experience and dark humans wisdom. But there is no human rules and art for bears and there is no japanese women for gypsy savages. One day, as an old man, I will look into the rear view mirror and see my bear/gypsy family and I will want to return home. But I already betrayed everybody. On passenger seat - books will sit. On back seat - a japanese girl will sleep. And I'll be driving with my bare bear hands and face unable of mimics and I will face the faeces of freedom.

You know what they say in czech. You're not a man until you fuck a dark, gypsy bitch. Could I modify the saying? Maybe you're not a man until you fuck krampus in her ass.

When she wakes up in the car, in the middle of nowhere, maybe it's finally time to untie her and fully enjoy the Stockholm syndrome.

Thoughts?

 

[sevag00]

No thank you.

 

[SentinelSlain]

This might creep her out. She isn't unattractive, but she's obviously not my usual type (slavic brunettes).

 

[Onder]

This might creep her out. She isn't unattractive, but she's obviously not my usual type (slavic brunettes).

You don't have any type.

 

[General Zaroff]

I love this forum.

 

[waif]

I would hit that so hard whoever pulled me out would be crowned king of england.

 

[King Richard]

This is one of those times Onder needed his hands chopped off to prevent him from posting.

 

[Onder]

This is one of those times Onder needed his hands chopped off to prevent him from posting.

What? I just expressed attraction to a female member of the forum, that's all. You do that too so shut the fuck up you dumb cretin. I'll chop your cock off.

 

[Master_Yoda77]

This is another one of Onder's "Posts of High Intelligence" as I like to call them. Fuck you if you don't like the topic.

 

[King Richard]

What? I just expressed attraction to a female member of the forum, that's all. You do that too so shut the fuck up you dumb cretin. I'll chop your cock off.

Your shtick isn't funny, it isn't interesting, it isn't unique, it is nothing. I will bleed you until every last ounce of blood drips from your veins and feeds the apple tree in my back yard. Because everyone bleeds, except me. And I will wait for this tree to bear fruit, and I will eat this fruit that has grown from your blood and it will be like eating your blood directly, but in a much safer way because you probably have brain aids (clearly), and I don't want to become infected with shit, your shitty shit. It disgusts me because you're a dreg, a bottom feeder, not even worthy of my worst shits. After I've completed eating the fruit that was spawned from your death I will go drink with my buddies and not toast to you, because you are not worth the toast, you scum. After not toasting to your death, where I secretly celebrate it, I will find your woman and fornicate with her. Possibly slipping some drugs in her drink and admitting the truth to her, with a very intimate whisper. But she will not remember due to the drugs and I will have gotten away with the perfect murder. I am King.

It's not hard to be Onder, you just make up a bunch of random shit and pretend to be dark. Except, I think my interpretation was better, shitface.

Btw, yes, I expressed my attraction a long ass time ago to krampus and Neurotica by saying they're beautiful - because they are, and that they're nice people - becase they are, and that I like them as a person - because I do. Last I checked my style of complimenting doesn't include eRaping them and putting them on display like they're a fucking toy just to get some laughs brah.

 

[Onder]

Your shtick isn't funny

Your stick is funny.

It's not hard to be Onder, you just make up a bunch of random shit and pretend to be dark. Except, I think my interpretation was better, shitface.

I think I will stuff vomit in a paperbag and pop it on your mother you piece of shit scum.

Btw, yes, I expressed my attraction by krampus and Neurotica that they're beautiful - because they are, and a nice preson because - they are, I like you as a person - because I do. Last I checked my style of complimenting doesn't include eRaping them and putting them on display like they're a fucking toy just to get some laughs brah.

Your style of complimenting is foul like the highest lord of shits. "I like you as a person". Wow.

 

[King Richard]

carry on my wayward son
there'll be peace when you are done
lay your weary head to rest
don't you cry no more

 

[waif]

Your shtick isn't funny, it isn't interesting, it isn't unique, it is nothing. I will bleed you until every last ounce of blood drips from your veins and feeds the apple tree in my back yard. Because everyone bleeds, except me. And I will wait for this tree to bear fruit, and I will eat this fruit that has grown from your blood and it will be like eating your blood directly, but in a much safer way because you probably have brain aids (clearly), and I don't want to become infected with shit, your shitty shit. It disgusts me because you're a dreg, a bottom feeder, not even worthy of my worst shits. After I've completed eating the fruit that was spawned from your death I will go drink with my buddies and not toast to you, because you are not worth the toast, you scum. After not toasting to your death, where I secretly celebrate it, I will find your woman and fornicate with her. Possibly slipping some drugs in her drug and admitting the truth to her, which a very intimate whisper. But will not remember due to the drugs and I will have gotten away with the perfect murder. I am King.

Gold.

 

[Mort Divine]

carry on my wayward son
there'll be peace when you are done
lay your weary head to rest
don't you cry no more

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lEPA_6eg&feature=related[/ame]

I can only ever associate this song with this show now.

 

[Onder]

I have to apologize to King Richard for not putting the "I like her as a person" option to the poll. I'll do better next time. It's irrelevant, but some suave gentlemen would get butthurt if I didn't. Masters of online dating also.

 

[King Richard]

 

[V.V.V.V.V.]

what a gif

 

[monoxide_child]

yes, i would sex krampus

 

[skeptik]

Either I am a bear trying to absorb poetry with my dong, or maybe I'm a gypsy boy who wants to fuck and aged and understood another level of gypsy rules. Maybe it's gaining experience and dark humans wisdom. But there is no human rules and art for bears and there is no japanese women for gypsy savages. One day, as an old man, I will look into the rear view mirror and see my bear/gypsy family and I will want to return home. But I already betrayed everybody. On passenger seat - books will sit. On back seat - a japanese girl will sleep. And I'll be driving with my bare bear hands and face unable of mimics and I will face the faeces of freedom.

I don't care about the rest of this thread, but this is some bizarrely profound shit right here.

 

[Addo_Of_Nex]

I'm all about not objectifying women and whathaveyou, but to claim that Onder's persona can be mimicked with ease is fucking silly. See: the quote Doden's culled from the story.