I've been reading Opet's "surrounded by death" post and relating it to what's been going on in my life, and with those people who are close to me. It seems like 2001, especially the second half, has been quite a shitty year for many peeps out there.
A good friend of mine has been unemployed for months now and is desparate to get a job, all 4 of my roomates are having horrible semesters, one might not be able to come back.. my grandma died in August.. just some of the things that have happened. Lots of these things may sound insignificant when spread out over a period of time, but it's all happened in the past 4-5 months. Then of course, there's 9/11 and everything that resulted from it.
What happened with me? I got the bulk of emotional troubles dumped on me just as soon as my college courses became difficult (1st semester senior year). I fell in love with a girl who just broke up with her boyfriend of 3 years, and for a while I thought the feeling was mutual, seeing as how we had achieved quite a romantic relationship at one point. But then she backs off, saying she doesn't think it's appropriate. After telling me (in a voice of reason) she didn't want to be in a relationship with anyone, she has now gone back to her boyfriend (it didn't take longer than a week after she said this). Right now I'm at a complete loss of words, but it seems like she knows what life is like with this guy.. whether it's good or bad.. she's familiar with it. She gave me bullshit excuses for not having the same feelings towards me, such as "you're 3 years older."
What did I do wrong? All I did was love her.. as much as I possibly could. I was willing to offer this girl everything, but because it was a new situation for her, she's now trying to distance herself from me. What pisses me off is that much of my idealism towards love has now gone out the window, and knowing that someone is consciously trying to distance themself from me is pretty disconcerting. To top it off, my semester GPA is now in the shits.
anyway, i'm just blabbling now.. i guess the most we can do on this board is just to be there to provide some insight with regards to these events, and be there for eachother. I really like this board.. it's got quite the share of intelligent and insightful people who always have something to say.
anyway, hang in there everybody.. the best we can do is learn from all these happenings
A good friend of mine has been unemployed for months now and is desparate to get a job, all 4 of my roomates are having horrible semesters, one might not be able to come back.. my grandma died in August.. just some of the things that have happened. Lots of these things may sound insignificant when spread out over a period of time, but it's all happened in the past 4-5 months. Then of course, there's 9/11 and everything that resulted from it.
What happened with me? I got the bulk of emotional troubles dumped on me just as soon as my college courses became difficult (1st semester senior year). I fell in love with a girl who just broke up with her boyfriend of 3 years, and for a while I thought the feeling was mutual, seeing as how we had achieved quite a romantic relationship at one point. But then she backs off, saying she doesn't think it's appropriate. After telling me (in a voice of reason) she didn't want to be in a relationship with anyone, she has now gone back to her boyfriend (it didn't take longer than a week after she said this). Right now I'm at a complete loss of words, but it seems like she knows what life is like with this guy.. whether it's good or bad.. she's familiar with it. She gave me bullshit excuses for not having the same feelings towards me, such as "you're 3 years older."
What did I do wrong? All I did was love her.. as much as I possibly could. I was willing to offer this girl everything, but because it was a new situation for her, she's now trying to distance herself from me. What pisses me off is that much of my idealism towards love has now gone out the window, and knowing that someone is consciously trying to distance themself from me is pretty disconcerting. To top it off, my semester GPA is now in the shits.
anyway, i'm just blabbling now.. i guess the most we can do on this board is just to be there to provide some insight with regards to these events, and be there for eachother. I really like this board.. it's got quite the share of intelligent and insightful people who always have something to say.
anyway, hang in there everybody.. the best we can do is learn from all these happenings
