Your relatship with your mom

well, it sounds to me like YOU have to be the parent here. don't sweat it, your turning 17 tomorrow right? your almost there man. and any kind of mental illness or disorder is not something to be taken LIGHTLY. maybe, just maybe, you should be a little sympathetic towards her. she didn't wake up one day and say " i wanna be fucked up" ya know? give it all some deep thought, only you can really answer these questions.:D
 
Originally posted by E V I L


What? They existed in 1930's too? :eek:

;) (i'm actually amazed, though. I grew up watching them. The cold saturday mornings.. the sloppy breakfast cereal, and me full of wonder and musings.. aww the good ol, good ol.)
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Man, you guys are making me nostalgic remembering Gargamel and (what was that cat's name? Gabriel?). I miss those Smurf days...(remember every other word was "oohh, Smurfy"? hahahaha
 
Originally posted by Jannet


Man, you guys are making me nostalgic remembering Gargamel and (what was that cat's name?). I miss those Smurf days...(remember every other word was "oohh, Smurfy"? hahahaha
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I think it was...

Azriel! meeooww! ;) (I think, but I'm not sure..perhaps Oyo can advise us further..)
 
Oyo your parents sound like mine, I am like you I spend a lot of time in my room, and am kind of gloomy sometimes. So my parents always do stuff like "hes out of the hole" or are always so concerned with my well being if i am ever sad, and sometimes i just dont want to be bothered. But i am getting to the age where I have a different perspective on the parent child relationship, and am learning a lot.
 
Originally posted by slingblade
just be strong then, til' you can do what is best for YOU.
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But also don't lose sight that parents can teach you things if you listen. Again - this is a generalization - I don't know your parents. I have experience - and I think my kids can benefit from it. Don't think you, as a teenager, have all the answers. Hell, I'm 41, and I don't have all the answers. Maybe just a few more than you. :)
 
Originally posted by CladInDarkness
you know i wish i could but its hard when she doesnt even want to help herself and she expects everyone to do it for her, all the while shes putting you down.
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Right there with you, bro! My Mother chose her path and expected the exact same thing. Every attempt that could possibly made at rehabilitation and physical therapy was tried. In order to overcome a illness or a addiction you have to be willing to help yourself and work at it. My Dad even went so far as to getting her into Peachford Hospital in Atlanta,(that's the rehab center that cleaned-up Stevie Ray Vaughn). Her Mother brought drugs to her while she was in there. It was sad. As you know from what I wrote in my previous post, it all eventually led to her death. Help is good but it can only go so far. You have to be willing to help yourself too.
 
Originally posted by CladInDarkness
you know i wish i could but its hard when she doesnt even want to help herself and she expects everyone to do it for her, all the while shes putting you down.
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You have reminded me of two seriously disfunctional friends I had- and the forgotten fact that I too back in the day (way back, nowadays everything is quite civil) I lived in fucked up family, full of knives and threats of suicide, people running away threatening to never come back home- all of this shit so far removed from me and in the past, it's no longer a part of me. But I digress. :)

One friend of mine was constantly tormented by his step-mother and the question I always rebutted to him was: Why do you care? If you can accept the fact that your mom is a child and perhaps in this sole action gain an emotional distance from her, maybe your life will be less chaotic- les emotionally troubling- though equally fucked. Just go through the motions. And perhaps even find a way to love your mother's quirks. She won't last- she'll die one day, and perhaps you'll regret it. Maybe you ought to be her companion- take care of her, at least in the mental sense, you know?

just thinking out loud.
 
When it comes to leaving me be its the complete opposite here. I like to be alone almost all the time (from her) and all she does is contantly stay around me.
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I would go INSANE.
My parents airport broke (Wireless internet broadcaster hardware, which is in my room, and it connects wirelessly to my parents computer downstairs), and so I came home and my mom was watching her soap operas on my TV, and reading her mail on my computer, which was slightly annoying, so I was like "Ok, you're done until tomorrow". Then my parents kept coming into my room and screwing with the airport, them just being in here for 3 minutes annoyed me beyond belief, I don't know how you can stand your mom following you around.


or are always so concerned with my well being if i am ever sad, and sometimes i just dont want to be bothered. But i am getting to the age where I have a different perspective on the parent child relationship, and am learning a lot.
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If i'm ever sad, my parents don't know it, I prefer to be sad alone. I don't take to my parents about my feelings, ever. There's not really anything they could do, and anytime I am depressed it's over something stupid such as, for two weeks I have nothing happening whatsoever, and I am sick of my friends, I want to have some friends I can take to, so I just get sad. This is the case always, I'm just not sad about it always. I am also getting a very different perspective on it, finding out my parents have their own lives, and trying to understand how to be a parent as well.
 
yeah my mom has committed suicide before, and was taken to the hospital. She has theartened it many more times after that, to me also because i said something to her, but i don't know what it was. another thing about getting away from my mom i cant! shes always around and if i leave and are out more then like twice a week, then i have been gone for a good deal of the week! so she says , and she wants to see me plus im only 17 so i cant leave just yet and probably wont for a few more years after i turn 18.
 
Originally posted by Oyo


If i'm ever sad, my parents don't know it, I prefer to be sad alone. I don't take to my parents about my feelings, ever. There's not really anything they could do, and anytime I am depressed it's over something stupid such as, for two weeks I have nothing happening whatsoever, and I am sick of my friends, I want to have some friends I can take to, so I just get sad. This is the case always, I'm just not sad about it always. I am also getting a very different perspective on it, finding out my parents have their own lives, and trying to understand how to be a parent as well.
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i wish i talked more to my parents about shit when i was a teen. could've saved me a lot of grief......
 
yes oyo it drives me insane too, and she does it everyday for hours, im not exaggerating when i say that either. and if i do get really annoyed about it and show it, she gets all oh so you dont want to see me anymore fine youll never have to see me again (threatening suicide once again) and shell go up to her room and cry. and thats just because i want to be left alone
 
Sorry Clad - that sucks. And if you don't know by now - I'm on the other end of that equation. My daughter has attempted a few times.

Mental illness is so damn complicated - no solution, but you can only hope to help the person control their inner demons.
 
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