A thread about girls/chicks, now what the hell...

abyssofdreams

abyssofdreams

knows what you think.
Sep 30, 2002
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www.abyssofdreams.com
Now after a 6-year long relationship me and my g/f, we just broke up some days ago...sad thing but I'm not here to whine about it :err:

The thing is...rarely do I find someone really attractive, both from the out- and inside, I'm really picky when it comes down to who I feel myself attached to. Now, during all my relationship(s), during all the time I spent going out with friends and stuff, meeting all kinds of people I was always very observant of my surroundings, just out of curiosity. You know that kind of thing that you're not really searching for a girl being in a relationship yourself but being aware of who's beautiful nonetheless. Now that I'm "free" again, I realize that with each unsuccessful bonding I get to be even more choosier and picky.

Out of 5000 girls there's maybe 1 or 2 I'd find interesting from the start.

My question is...am I the only one seing it that way? Now how could I decrease my expectation level?

I mean, it's not that I'm not looking...and I'm far from being in desperate need of a relationship right now that we just broke up but anyhow I'm wondering. I don't believe in that old saying "time will tell"-conincidence crap. :loco:

Not to say I don't find anything but those who I find are either completely happy with what they've got or are so fucking far away. The fact that most chicks that are into metal are more or less fucked up doesn't make it easier either. :mad:

And last but not least, there's maybe like 50 men on 1 women around here, so the competition is pretty high... I mean, I don't consider myself to be unattractive by any means but come on... that's not really fair, now is it?

Any motivational thoughts out there that are reflecting your experiences?
I'm not far away from the magic 30 and I'm starting to feel a bit nervous about this situation :lol:

Now clicking random profiles on MySpace can't be the solution either, right?
I guess the point is... where to look? Oh man, how I fear the answer to that :Smug:
 
and why the fuck does this board always go down once I post a larger text :lol:
now see that's kinda scary for me!

and to give you an idea of what I'm talking about:

fe7e0f545e7f62a61fa3838oy3.jpg


d0d9b1d8c5d57423a164310qr8.jpg


247b5079aaac3e8ce7e6385rr8.jpg


now go ahead and jerk off to those :lol:
 
I hear ya dude, it's so hard to find a chick that appreciates (or at least is open-minded about) my obsessions (metal, production, health, tidiness), my wacky and extemely irreverent sense of humor, and my way of speaking (good grammar, "big" words) - often it's just one or two of the above, rather than all three. However, I definitely have met and known more than a few, so I can maintain my optimism. However, I'm still in school, so I'm surrounded by over 2,000 chicks in my age group, so that's quite the pool to choose from! Once I graduate, though, I can definitely see how it'd be a lot more bleak, and for that reason, I honestly think dating sites (that match you on personality characteristics) are a really good idea; I've never used one, because of the aforementioned situation I'm in currently, but I think it's a FAR better way to meet people you'll get along with than, say, going out to the bar and constantly being disappointed. Just my thoughts on the subject!
 
There you go, I gotta go back to school then, ha!
Now with datingsites...I'm always under the impression that it's just a cheap way of either ripping of people or buying the cat in the sack, I'm not sure...
And I'd guess that'll be even harder to find someone there, like 100 people (that you can't all meet in person) writing one chick.
Besides that I'm somewhat more old-schoolish that it's nicer to know someone in the real world rather than the internet. It's easy to fake identity online ;)
But thanks man, I might as well give it a shot sometime, cheers! :kickass:
 
I don't know how old you are, but I've always heard that school is where most people find their mate. It's where I found my wife, so there's at least some credence to the idea. Take a class in something that interests you. If there's a cute girl in there with you, you already know that you have something in common and therefore have a basis for small talk. Small talk -> conversations -> coffee -> orgy. Or something like that.
 
I know what you mean, I had to find someone from another country! :) I met my wife online, although it was a complete, random accident. But she's the best thing that ever happened to me. We share many of the same views and ideals, but are also different enough to compliment each other and help the other grow and expand their horizons.
 
i've learned a few things over the years..... and seen them play out again in the lives of my friends and younger family members as well....

you will be destroyed, and believe that you'll never find another as good as her.... right up until the day you meet the next cool girl that you're attracted to that will sleep with you.

it's quite amazing how that "cures" the 'ol heartsickness.

cynical?.... indeed. accurate?... yup.
 
I think one of the first things is to establish your priorities. What is the purpose of the relationship? What is the goal (marriage, etc)? What personal characteristics are most important to you? Try to dissect your sense of attraction--what percent is based on physical appearance, what percent is based on mannerisms or behaviors? A certain amount of analysis takes a lot of the "voodoo" out of the equation and allows you to make. Picking your battles wisely is the way to go.

I've been married for 5 years to a woman who doesn't really like metal, doesn't really like the music that I write, and doesn't ever play a musical instrument. We get along fine in that regard, though, because she involves herself in her own "hobby-type" things so she understands the time commitments involved. Plus, it's good for me in that it keeps me grounded in the "real world" of job, home, etc...
 
James Murphy said:
i've learned a few things over the years..... and seen them play out again in the lives of my friends and younger family members as well....

you will be destroyed, and believe that you'll never find another as good as her.... right up until the day you meet the next cool girl that you're attracted to that will sleep with you.

it's quite amazing how that "cures" the 'ol heartsickness.

cynical?.... indeed. accurate?... yup.
Click to expand...

There was a line in some TV show years ago by some woman: "The best way to get over someone is to get under someone"." I think that applies. ;)
 
Here's a question: it's pretty universal that we, as metal guys, think that the majority of girls who are obviously METAL CHICKS are creepy and should be avoided.

Ahem.

What about guys who are obviously METAL GUYS from their perspective? Are there conversations on some Gilmore Girls forum about the perils of dating us?
 
James Murphy said:
i've learned a few things over the years..... and seen them play out again in the lives of my friends and younger family members as well....

you will be destroyed, and believe that you'll never find another as good as her.... right up until the day you meet the next cool girl that you're attracted to that will sleep with you.

it's quite amazing how that "cures" the 'ol heartsickness.

cynical?.... indeed. accurate?... yup.
Click to expand...

Honest and straight to the point, that's what I like about you :)
 
aberration said:
Here's a question: it's pretty universal that we, as metal guys, think that the majority of girls who are obviously METAL CHICKS are creepy and should be avoided.

Ahem.

What about guys who are obviously METAL GUYS from their perspective? Are there conversations on some Gilmore Girls forum about the perils of dating us?
Click to expand...

girls visit forums?!
 
TravisW said:
I think one of the first things is to establish your priorities. What is the purpose of the relationship? What is the goal (marriage, etc)? What personal characteristics are most important to you? Try to dissect your sense of attraction--what percent is based on physical appearance, what percent is based on mannerisms or behaviors? A certain amount of analysis takes a lot of the "voodoo" out of the equation and allows you to make. Picking your battles wisely is the way to go.

I've been married for 5 years to a woman who doesn't really like metal, doesn't really like the music that I write, and doesn't ever play a musical instrument. We get along fine in that regard, though, because she involves herself in her own "hobby-type" things so she understands the time commitments involved. Plus, it's good for me in that it keeps me grounded in the "real world" of job, home, etc...
Click to expand...

See now that is the root of my problem. I can't set priorities because there are no characteristics I could dismiss that easily. Or let me put it this way: I've set my priorities but they can't be reached by the average person which is not what anyone would be looking for anyways ;)

Basically I feel cheap for looking at the outside/appearance/look first but to be honest I believe in that split-second that makes you go "BAM! That's her!" Yeah, that doesn't mean it applies to one person on this whole globe only but what the fuck does life expect me to do, knock on every door until I get to the right person? :err:

You know, I might just do that, tape it on camera and sell it as a documentary for completely, hopelessly lost individuals, at least that wouldn't make it a wasted effort :Smug:
 
strippers

other than that ... do yourself a favor and don't think about it. If you've noticed so many things while in and out of a relationship you should have noticed that the moment you start meeting the best women is when you stop wondering when you will and stop trying to meet someone. You said yourself you're not looking for anything deep or whatever ... thats the right attitude. Enjoy yourself and have fun and don't give another thought about this "I'm almost 30" bullshit. I've been through it too. With a great woman for 7 years, it fell apart and I'm left at 28 years old with nothing. My relationship, my home, my fucking CAT ... gone! A couple years later and a good portion of fun seeking women later I meet completely unexpectedly the perfect woman and we got married. I have no complaints about anything anymore

Don't dwell on it and when you're ready, start having fun. You'll probably re-evaluate several things over the next couple of women and have a much more defined idea of what you actually are looking for.

If you were around here, I'd say "beers are on me" and drag you to all 5 of the strip clubs within 2 miles of my place.

You'll be fine dude
 
The easiest way to get over this type of thing is to just move forth. It's a pain in the ass and it sucks balls but the sooner that you just gotta siege forth and put the past in the past the easier it is. I think it's best to just try and get away from the negative source asap. Easier said then done of course especially 6 years deep.

So to "find" another girl... it's like watching the discovery channel
It's all a game really. It's the biological tricks that catch women and shit. It's really about body language and evolutionary "games" we play in selecting a mate. Even if it's just as a friend at first to get over another person.

That all being said.... I'm pretty bad with women.hahaha
And what's the whole deal with nice guys finishing last?
Some shit about girls wanting challenges and nice isn't a challenge...

.....KNIBB HIGH FOOTBALL RULES.

I just reread this post and it makes little sense but I felt the need to contribute.
 
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