It's hard to argue against that... You really seem to have had a crappy couple of days. Or years.
Life isn't fair, my friend. You just get what you get and learn to fight against it.
Alexi got me over suicidal thoughts. I have to admit this whole situation made me think of those things again. But I'm pretty damn sure Alexi would beat the shit out of me in afterlife if I gave in to stuff like that.
Art is the door out of this. We'll meet again for sure, I believe in it 100% And I'm sure he's still here, in the way we say "You know basically", in the way we wave our hands when we talk, the way we think of life.
The best tribute to Alexi is doing your best in whatever it is you do. And don't give in to dark thoughts, write them down and use them in art. Make him proud.
That's the point. In my shitty days I was just playing some Children Of Bodom and I knew that tomorrow, two years ahead, 20 years ahead I would find them there for me. Alexi was young, just started a family and from videos Kelli and him uploaded I could say it was a happy family. I don't know where's the real father of that kid, but seeing her being so calm around Alexi means she felt him friendly and safe.
I was thinking about suicide, many times, guess I am too stubborn to gut myself and make a favor to people who hate me. It would be fucking offense to his memory.
I am sure too, nothing just dissapear. If we meet him or not, soul could not be destroyed like that. Alexi is free now, believer or not his spirit is good, he will find peace. I am sure of it, there's no question his soul is in Heaven now, or Valhala, or whatever finns call it.
You know there's impossible not to fall in love with these dudes. Finland is such a different place than any other place. Their life, their ideas of existing, forget about drinking and heavy metal. I got some lessons years ago, my idea was to graduate and go to Finland, life hit me at the head and things went different, but you can't pass without them change your life. They are calm people, peaceful, even if they scream for death and break beer bottles in each others heads. Their language is nothing you can see in any other country. Finns doesnt have future time, they can't say "I will go to the market tomorrow". Or they don't have the word "have". If they need to say "I have a cat", they will say "Cat is to me". They don't posess the fucking cat, they don't claim tomorrow is theirs, and you are just attracted to their world and it's fascinating and amazing for someone who never knew them.
There is sadness, and grief, and some deep deep freezing thing coming from Finland, but they also smile, and love, and when you learn that and actually start loving one of them, or a whole band, it changes you.
So... Alexi died, and it's freezing and crushing and unbearable. But he surely is fine now, that's not something I would even bother to doubt in. What bothers me is that we are still here, and person like him would be hard to be found again. Nobody ever could replace the WildChild.
