Are any of you mentally ill?

[Richard Mongler]

I thought I would ask, being as we are all drawn to Katatonia's music and it seems to be magnetic for clinically depressed people, or people with mental illness.

That is not to say that all Katatonia fans are depressed, just that I speak for myself and I was drawn to the music because the lyrical content and music is what attracted me in the first place because I could relate (thought I could relate) to the feelings of hopelessness and despair.

But, aside from that, I do suffer from clinical depression and social anxiety. Lots of regular folks don't understand it or what causes it or what it feels like.

Anyway, just thought it'd make for interesting conversation to those of you who may also have mental illness.

 

[MiniMoose]

I thought I would ask, being as we are all drawn to Katatonia's music and it seems to be magnetic for clinically depressed people, or people with mental illness.

That is not to say that all Katatonia fans are depressed, just that I speak for myself and I was drawn to the music because the lyrical content and music is what attracted me in the first place because I could relate (thought I could relate) to the feelings of hopelessness and despair.

But, aside from that, I do suffer from clinical depression and social anxiety. Lots of regular folks don't understand it or what causes it or what it feels like.

Anyway, just thought it'd make for interesting conversation to those of you who may also have mental illness.

Think this might have been brough up before, but what the heck!

I can of course only speak for myself, but back in the days when I was a teen I guess I had some kind of ilght social anxiety...I remember I feared people I didn't know well. I've been in the verge of light depression probably a long period of my life, but can't say I suffer from it anymore.

I never got a diagnose either probably because I never took it up with my doctor and sorted it out myself with time, friends and family. Now that I'm well..29 (..jeez..time flies!) I work within the psychiatric side of health care and have friends that on both sides patients and health care professionals...I also work with cancer patients atm.

The point is, I don't listen to music as therapy anymore, I used to, but don't think I do that anymore. Now I listen to it because out of old habit probably and just because I like how Katatonia just kicks ass in a slightly dark way. I don't feel the need to dress black or look like a metal head anymore..but I used to. I totally understand how it is to be depressed. At least..I do know a lot about it and I think I have a pretty good idea of what it is like.

It's not easy and never fun. It's easy to feel sorry for yourself and bury yourself in fantasy and music that fits the mood..and it really feels great at times. Right now though I do like reality and enjoy life with dark music as a spice to life, but nothing more. Music doesn't have the big important role it used to have in my life. THis is rather hard to explain..I hope I manage to explain it without sounding like a complete moron..

"Are any of you mentally ill?" It's is a tough question in many ways, because many people don't understand that they do need help, some are getting help and struggling to get happy and some just love the dark mood of things...lots of people are somewhere in between.

So..no I'm not mentally ill, but my music taste might be..heh. (the short answer that might have sufficed

Btw I officially became a fan when TGCD came out..but already had VE and TLFDGD..but only liked them a bit before TGCD came along.

 

[Belligerent]

For awhile there I thought I had anxiety...i still might i dunno.

 

[Brensly]

I have never been even close to depressed really, though I still love the depressing music and lyrics of Katatonia. I'm not really a "happy guy" either, I feel kinda neutral. Why I prefer depressing music is still a mystery to me, because I can't relate most of the feelings described in the lyrics to things I've experienced myself.

 

[Belligerent]

When I'm down in the dumps I tend to throw on Rapture - Futile, Anathema - Alternative 4 or Funeral - From These Wounds. Katatonia of course helps too.

 

[Phoenix5]

I thought I had mono for an entire year once. Turns out I was just really bored...

 

[stefan86]

I've got an asperger diagnose and some depression going. Nothing out of the ordinary today I guess.

 

[stefan86]

Sullen and bored the kids play?

 

[BlueSky]

And in this way wish away each day.

 

[Phoenix5]

Oh Wayne's World.

 

[Mantraschism]

I tend to get depressed and lonely, but as far as I know it's not clinical. That wouldn't be so bad, except that I also correlate unconnected things in my mind, and I can't really control it. That might not sound so bad either, but the things that I relate are always bad. So you can have thing A, which is neutral, and I'll relate it somehow to thing B, which might also be neutral, but after I'm done with things C, D, and E, I arrive at thing F, which is something I really don't want to think about. I tend to add numbers up to make numbers I don't like (again, I don't mean to), or numbers that remind me of something bad. All this is to say, I might have a little obsessive-compulsion going on. It reached its worst point several months ago, when I could barely stand my thoughts any more, so I resorted to cutting and such nonsense. Weird times - glad they're gone.

But I started listening to Katatonia before I noticed my thoughts acting up on me, so that isn't what drew me to them. But Katatonia's music/lyrics definitely helped later on.

 

[LifeDepraved]

Hey I'll be in Georgia soon...we can be depressed together

 

[Mantraschism]

Haha, awesome. You know what's neat, is that I used to live in Sierra Vista, AZ. I fuckin' love Arizona. Unfortunately, I'm going overseas next month... for a year... so, you'd better get here soon. =]

 

[Stillness7]

I laughed at the forum topic. Still laughing actually... haha.

Socially anxious here. It's not fun at all. Everyone seems to think I have Aspergers, though I'm not sure I agree. I've never been depressed or even close, though.

Wikipedia would suggest that about one out of twenty people have social anxiety. Maybe that's true on this board, but why do I never see someone else with it?! Perhaps they are all at home...

 

[Noituudenaika]

I laughed at the forum topic. Still laughing actually... haha.

Socially anxious here. It's not fun at all. Everyone seems to think I have Aspergers, though I'm not sure I agree. I've never been depressed or even close, though.

Wikipedia would suggest that about one out of twenty people have social anxiety. Maybe that's true on this board, but why do I never see someone else with it?! Perhaps they are all at home...

You probably see people with it all the time, they just have ways of hiding it.

I have suffered bouts of depression/mania/anxiety and ocd for years. Even now when everything in my life is going really well, I feel it lurking there in the back of my head waiting for the right moment to grab me again.

 

[Hobo]

I´l just join in on the social anxiety thing.
I cant talk to people I don't know.
I get all nervous, and start to feel ill... even if it is a totally professional call, like calling the electrics company to ask why I haven't had any bill for a year
I do however have a good wife who kicks my ass if I get too bad, and tells me to just do it..

 

[the-great-cold-distance]

^ditto. Viva having conversations on screens.

 

[Noituudenaika]

I´l just join in on the social anxiety thing.
I cant talk to people I don't know.
I get all nervous, and start to feel ill... even if it is a totally professional call, like calling the electrics company to ask why I haven't had any bill for a year
I do however have a good wife who kicks my ass if I get too bad, and tells me to just do it..

Yes it is always good to have someone to snap you out of it hehe.

 

[MiniMoose]

I´l just join in on the social anxiety thing.
I cant talk to people I don't know.
I get all nervous, and start to feel ill... even if it is a totally professional call, like calling the electrics company to ask why I haven't had any bill for a year
I do however have a good wife who kicks my ass if I get too bad, and tells me to just do it..

Me AND my girlfriend has that phone thingy. I can have it at times, but a previous job has made me tougher, because I had to call all different kinds of people and businesses to ask them all kinds of silly questions. (guess the job )
I have also have to call for my gf often..and it's easier if I do it for her.

Professional calls are harder if they are something I need to fix that has to do with me..my trick now is just to think that they are just other people and most of the time want to help...if they don't...well, then they are not very professional..heh..

The electrical bill thing you also mention is something I really have to call them about too...haven't seen an electric bill in 4 months or so I think...good reminder...probably won't call them though...I'm hoping it will magically sort out itself

 

[MiniMoose]

You probably see people with it all the time, they just have ways of hiding it.

I have suffered bouts of depression/mania/anxiety and ocd for years. Even now when everything in my life is going really well, I feel it lurking there in the back of my head waiting for the right moment to grab me again.

True, people hide it well in all kind of ways. I have a couple of friends who hide it very well, but a bit of beer and trust and it all comes out. Healthy to talk about it, but beware of talking too much about it.

WHen things go well, that's when anxiety really starts working in the background for many. Things can always go wrong, but most of the time it's in your head. Some anxiety is just healthy, but the damned anxiety that eats you up, that's worth trying to get help for. A friend of mine just bought a jacket because he was trying it on and some blood came one it from a tiny sore he had. He asked me if the blood could infect someone and no it can't. I told him I would kick his ass if he bought it, but he did..heh. He thinks he's beginning to like it. Luckily he understood that he has a problem and currently is looking into it. I never knew about this stuff with him. I've know him for 15 years or so and sure I've known about his meat thing, (he ALMOST never eats meet because he feels it's just bad for him..and no, he's not a veggie)but nothing bigger. He's just a very sweet person and seems in control of everything, but when anxiety strikes...no logical thinking he does seems to help him. Of course, I still believe he can get this under control with a bit of training...well, no I'm sure of it.

Anyhoo, that was yet another way too long post..