Wow, what an interesting topic to find..First thank you to Norsemaiden for making the thread.
I am still learning a great deal about love. Because of an awful past, I will spare you the details. I've been told by two physiotherapist that I suffer from "Child Non-Bonding". I didn't really learn love when I was a child, so now in my 30's I am learning all about this wonderful feeling. I have dealt with my past, shed my tears and even let out a few screams. I've experienced what I thought was love a few times before, but I think it was extreme obsession to be honest.
Through a very wonderful friend, I have learned how to love unconditionally. Without reservation and receive just as much love in return. Her kids as well have become a major part of my life. My love for them grows everyday. I have never known how strongly my heart could feel, until recently. I have to admit, learning how to love at this age is almost painful. I feel somedays like an infant learning how to walk. My first instinct is to overbear and overprotect them. Or to stand in the corner scared. But age and wisdom has taught me that this is the worse possibly thing to do. I struggle with new understandings everyday.
I have only found "romantic" love once, in the last few years. When I first started embarking on my journey towards love. It was more like puppy love, with the bad habits of obsession. Because of my obsession and his issues, it didn't work out. Which left me very heart broken. But another wonderful thing emerged from this painful event. Self love. I understood, after we split, that I had never loved me. I had never taken "care" of myself. I didn't eat right, if I ate at all. I can cook for 15 people, but I couldn't cook a meal just for me. That struck me as odd. I didn't exercise. I seemed to care very little about me, how bad my body felt or how little I did for me. Everything I had done was to care for others, not for myself. (This was another habit to come from my past, I would do anything to make others like me.)
As I learned to love me, I found there was many things I actually liked about myself. And over time, learned to love those things about me. Now that I know how to love myself and what I do love about me..this has given me a whole new insight into loving another and what exactly is involved with loving another.
Although I will admit I am not exactly actively looking for "romantic" love. I do meet men I am interested in, mainly it's the connection to a person I feel when meeting, spending time with them. (I really don't have a type other than I want someone who loves metal.) But for one reason or another, it doesn't work out. I guess all in due time, right?
I was married at one point, another horror show, but even then..I married because I thought he was a "smart decision" I didn't marry him for love, I married him because he seemed to be good to be a good man who would honor his vows. I was very wrong. Still, I married him for all the wrong reasons. I do completely understand this now.
Love, itself is a beautiful thing. I look forward to finding more people to love. I can say, learning how to love, losing it, and still loving others has most definitely made me much much stronger. Stealing from Wes, what a beautiful light love is, in a tunnel of darkness.
I'm sure there are better quotes about love then the one I am about to use, but it makes me laugh. My sense of humor is one of the things I have found I love most about me.
"Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love." ~Albert Einstein
!!! And you mentioned a very interesting thing is to be loved by friends ! i never experienced that after my best childhood friend moved somewhere else and he changed a lot. but i didn't felt empty or anything at that time coz i started loving a girl (who was my girl at that time) and i think she's my first love. but when she left me and i was completely lonely, no close friends, family problems, and everything !! that was the darkest time in my life... but then, i found that there is something that i love so much apart from "human beings" ...music...it was there for me all the time !!! I never went drinking/smoking or doing any stupid thing at that time, i was pulling all my anger/sadness unto music !!! and I knew that it was a bad feeling but i believed that it was a task that i have to take, and "There is no way to avoid the pain that we must go through " Chuck Schuldiner. Now i'm ok ... I feel loved by my family and a girl who's just amazing that i knew through the net !! life is pretty good now !! and yeah i think being loved by someone makes you feel stronger !
