Choose one cosmetic surgery for free

[Baroque]

Ammunition for future arguments, the thread

 

[CiG]

That's a sign of proper manhood. The women back in the prehistoric days used to always look for the guy with the saggiest balls.

i bet i know what morty would change

I got a big dick so...I guess get rid of my body fat and model myself more like Arnold in Conan the Barbarian.

Penile reduction, can't keep sending thots to the ER.

Quality thread already.

 

[PrincessHades]

I could get that extremely painful long term procedure done where they cut open the bones in your legs periodically and gradually add metal plates over time to make you taller.

 

[CiG]

I'd get a Weapon X program style procedure done that fuses my skeleton with adamantium, then probably die because I'm not a mutant.

 

[Satanstoenail]

I'd like to trade by body for the one I had when I was 23 thanks

 

[arg]

permanent ass hair removal

 

[HamburgerBoy]

Is this hypothetical limited by current surgical possibilities, or is this more a hypothetical surgery genie? If the former I don't even know. Actually I take it back, I do know. The right side of my face is wider and more masculine than the left, so something to make my left side closer to the right side would be nice. Like, I can flex my jaw and on the right side it will get a little bit of that "chiseled" look with the cheek slightly sunken in, but the left side just stays limp, like I can't even feel the same amount of jaw on that side. I think it might have to do with a dumbass orthodontist removing a 12 year molar from my lower jaw's left side when he was only supposed to take the wisdom teeth. I wouldn't say I'm that insecure about it, but as a narcissist that has thousands of selfies and cannot enter a room with a mirror without checking myself out, it would still be a nice bonus.

If magic is allowed, though, I wouldn't mind being at least a couple inches taller, but I don't want to have my femur broken and mechanically extended over a period of months and stay fragile for the rest of my life just to get that.

 

[Satanstoenail]

Is this hypothetical limited by current surgical possibilities, or is this more a hypothetical surgery genie? If the former I don't even know. Actually I take it back, I do know. The right side of my face is wider and more masculine than the left, so something to make my left side closer to the right side would be nice. Like, I can flex my jaw and on the right side it will get a little bit of that "chiseled" look with the cheek slightly sunken in, but the left side just stays limp, like I can't even feel the same amount of jaw on that side. I think it might have to do with a dumbass orthodontist removing a 12 year molar from my lower jaw's left side when he was only supposed to take the wisdom teeth. I wouldn't say I'm that insecure about it, but as a narcissist that has thousands of selfies and cannot enter a room with a mirror without checking myself out, it would still be a nice bonus.

If magic is allowed, though, I wouldn't mind being at least a couple inches taller, but I don't want to have my femur broken and mechanically extended over a period of months and stay fragile for the rest of my life just to get that.

I thought you'd go for a hair transplant for sure.

 

[TechnicalBarbarity]

Like, I can flex my jaw and on the right side it will get a little bit of that "chiseled" look with the cheek slightly sunken in, but the left side just stays limp, like I can't even feel the same amount of jaw on that side.

start chewing with your left side more.

 

[Carpe Mortem]

According to most insurance companies lasik and other vision corrective surgeries are cosmetic, so hands down that shit. I'd love to wake up and not have to put on my glasses, or go swimming without being half blind. Or deal with being totally fucked if I was ever in any sort of survival situation.

 

[HamburgerBoy]

I thought you'd go for a hair transplant for sure.

I'm gradually embracing the baldness. I figure that in the semi-near future hair transplants are going to be a lot better and easier as well.

start chewing with your left side more.

Never really thought of it but a lot of it could be that. I should try it. The left side of my face is also a little droopier though, especially my left eyelid.

 

[Vilden]

I would modify my ears to enchanting, pointy elven-like ears.

 

[Vegard Pompey]

I would have my right forearm removed and replaced with a machine gun.

 

[Onder]

I mean, if unsagging my ballsack isn't an option, then angel wings would be pretty cool I guess.

 

[EspaDa]

I would have my right forearm removed and replaced with a machine gun.

 

[CiG]

 

[The Ozzman]

Not a machine gun arm but still cool

 

[Funerary_Doom]

According to most insurance companies lasik and other vision corrective surgeries are cosmetic, so hands down that shit. I'd love to wake up and not have to put on my glasses, or go swimming without being half blind. Or deal with being totally fucked if I was ever in any sort of survival situation.

This.

 

[Master_Yoda77]

Yeah, Carpe makes a nice point with the glasses thing.

 

[zabu of nΩd]

I read about lasik in a doomsday prepper guide a few months ago. I'm tempted, but can't justify spending that much on survivalism.