Defining how heavy certain music is

One of the things that drew me to metal in the first place was aggression. I still like non-aggressive metal, but I believe aggression is an important factor in heaviness.

And I totally agree with the post above me.
 
dynamics. Nothing but dynamics.

Yes, perfectly said. Music that is heavy has dynamics or an understanding of volume. Wormed is brutal, Darkthrone is fuzzy, Merzbow is violent, but something like Godspeed! You Black Emperor, Sunn 0))), or Candlemass would be heavy.