Dumb/Funny Things You Did Whilst Intoxicated

[Vimana]

This thread is going to be fun. I'll start off. Yesterday, I was high as fuck and I went to this little bakery by a local mall. I saw this girl in there who I recognized from one of my classes. I went up and talked to her, but laughed a little too much. She told me I should buy something in the bakery, but I told her I was "broke as a turtle" and left.

Another time, also while high, I ran through a field yelling "thna thna." The a is like the a in apple.

I have a tendency to make up words while high. One of them is on urban dictionary. It is derinsula. I have also made up the word kanertnut, which is a natural formation that could be used as a shelter or a place for smoking weed.

Please feel free to share stuff.

 

[Episteme]

I barely remember this, but apparently a friend and I were play fighting because we both do Muay Thai and I went to kick him in his thigh but he turned at the wrong time and I kicked him in the dick really hard. He was on the floor for about an hour crying.

 

[The Butt]

I got really drunk and started wearing a gift bag on my head... woke up in the morning, haggard as all hell and still sorta drunk, and took a trip to the convenience store with the buds. Didn't realize I was still wearing the gift bag on my head by the time I was at the counter.

 

[Tonka Time]

@ "Thna thna"


Took a sled down my friends stairs a few times. After a while it was just me + random shit falling down stairs.

 

[Saparmurat_Niyazov]

I was tripping acid and I backed a friend's car into a fancy Mustang that belonged to a girl I kinda liked. Maybe it was because I was tripping hard, but it felt like a major collision. I got out to inspect the damage, and to my amazement, not even a scratch! I turned to the girl, and in what should have been a massive failure at courting her, said "I'm sorry, but I'm really fucked up right now. Am I seeing this right? There's not even a mark on your car?" She said "Yeah, it looks OK." The next weekend she blew me, but passed out on my lap before I could get her pants off.

 

[King Richard]

^winner

 

[Der Morgenstern]

I rode my bicycle off a bridge into the North Saskatchewan River and almost drowned in the process. All at 2 in the morning. I left the bike, obviously, and just floated for a while down the river and then spent the next couple of hours trying to get my bearings as the entire river in the city of Edmonton flows through a gigantic downtown valley park. Lost my cell phone, wallet, house keys in the process.

 

[muzmaze]

In the day when I was young, silly and stupid...

While dancing with a life jacket around my head on a cruise ship and being told to place it back on the hook on the railing...in doing so I dropped my wallet overboard. Lost everything in it of course. Was so bumbed out...had no $$'s for the rest of the trip etc. I proceeded to get even more rip-shit drunk as people felt bad and bought me drinks. All I remember was being found passed-out on the deck in my underwear holding a fire extinguisher and a bowl of fruit. They escorted me off the ship to authorities upon return!

Also.
On a tour boat in Jamaica (and i don't and almost never smoke weed or use any drugs)...I drank some raw mushroom tea, a bunch of Redstripe beer and smoked a blunt that was so big the crew had roled it in a large piece of a brown paper bag. When we docked to play on shore, I crashed a jet-ski into a dock and almost killed three people including myself. I spent the rest of vacation sore in bed until ready for our flight home. Between the mush-tea and the huge blunt...officially by far the most f'd-up I've ever been in my life! GOOD TIMES!

 

[-CC-]

Another time, also while high, I ran through a field yelling "thna thna." The a is like the a in apple.

I rode my bicycle off a bridge into the North Saskatchewan River and almost drowned in the process.

I crashed a jet-ski into a dock and almost killed three people including myself.

Gotta love thread progression.

 

[CF87]

I jet ski and don't even find that post funny at all. It's serious shit and you should be sober. dumb indeed

 

[muzmaze]

I jet ski and don't even find that post funny at all. It's serious shit and you should be sober. dumb indeed

Ok. So I'm a pimply-faced 17 year old no-druggie total jock in H.S. My sister asks me last minute to join her and some thirty something year old smokin hot friends and some other couples on a (free for me) trip to Jamaica. I say what the hey and along the way end up crashing a jet-ski...mind you one that the adult stoned-off-thier-ass Jamaican crew / staff gave me the keys to. Nobody got killed thankfully (as I said almost). It was a trip of a lifetime...excuse me!

Oh, and jet-skis btw, can be tricky at times to dock. I crashed one not long ago when totally sober. Shit happens.

 

[zabu of nΩd]

This thread is going to be fun. I'll start off. Yesterday, I was high as fuck and I went to this little bakery by a local mall. I saw this girl in there who I recognized from one of my classes. I went up and talked to her, but laughed a little too much. She told me I should buy something in the bakery, but I told her I was "broke as a turtle" and left.

At least you didn't dumb the crumbs.

 

[damnromulans]

I exposed myself to strange men on Chatroulette when I was drunk home alone in Japan. I guess that's more of a "sad and pathetic" thing than a "dumb/funny" thing.

I once ate a whole pizza and ran through the dorms yelling "I AM ICE CREAM" when I was stoned. That was pretty fun.

 

[Mort Divine]

I have almost no positive experiences when heavily intoxicated. They almost always border on severely-morally-fucked up or morning-after-existential-crisis-causing.

 

[Master_Yoda77]

When I get drunk I kill poseurs.

 

[Draehl]

Last night I got fell asleep in the midst of holding a conversation. Okay, not very exciting, but I'm a sleepy drinker and always fall asleep before I can do anything too crazy.

 

[SentinelSlain]

Whenever I go on chatroulette I always having some fairly long conversation with some girl. I never even go down the route of getting them to get naked though, so after half an hour or so they get bored.

It's just once you've got into talking about economics or Immanuel Kant or conflict resolution theory or something, it's hard to get into steer it towards noods. It's even worse if you've got them talking about their family and stuff and it's gotten all gay and soppy.

 

[Tonka Time]

My friend actually crashed one of my jet skis into our floating dock a few months ago. He "forgot" that things don't stop immediatly in water. Destroyed the dock, but everything else was fine. Dumbass.

I do more dumb/silly things when I'm sober. Riding through town in a radio flyer attached to an old bicycle that my friend was riding. I was covered in pads, hulk hands, and my dads power plant helmet. It flipped over on some hill when my brother was riding it so I wanted to be safe.

My worst experience with alcohol(minus the time I took the bottle of Seroquel) ended with me passing out in a pile of horse shit.

 

[SentinelSlain]

Your life sounds like a comedy film. No offence.

 

[Tonka Time]

It pretty much is. Or was. Life has unfortunately slowed to a crawl for me with most of my friends in college or boot camp.