- May 9, 2001
- 2,794
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The Blowjob
I have a question: Human development has reached the point where our species, via its highly technologically advanced society is capable of sending our DNA into the poor, unsuspecting vastness of outer space, yet, within our society, men and women can still not communicate about sex in an intelligent manner. Take for example: THE BLOWJOB.
Ah! Did you see that? All the women in the room all just did that look all at once! You know, the (demonstrate) look. Now, men like blowjobs. Blowjobs are good. Blowjobs are fun. Yet, blowjobs are looked down upon by our society. Come on, now. We all know that nice girls dont give head, right? It isnt PROPER! In fact, even our language ITSELF pushes this outdated ideal. Like George Carlin says, language always gives you away. What do we say when something is bad? When something is stupid, or lame, or boring, ya know, just plain bad. We say: THIS SUCKS and if we dont say sucks, look at what we say instead. hey man, this Tycus movie really BLOWS Yeah man, it LICKS. Ive even heard people say This SWALLOWS. Boy, that stand-up comic really SWALLOWS. Now t doesnt take a linguist or a social anthropologist to see what all of these words have in common. This is BRILLIANT, guys! We want the blowjob so bad we take euphemisms for it to describe anything that, well, sucks. Did anybody notice that we may be sending the wrong idea here?
And I mean, what is so bad about blowjobs? I mean, with all the rape and murder and thievery in this world we look down upon people for giving others orgasms? I mean, its probably about the nicest thing anybody could do! But people always say the same thing. Its degrading, subservient, dirty. Ooookay. Hold the phone for just one second. Now, Im a loser whos never had a girlfriend or any experience in sexual relationships that involve more people than myself, but... but it seems to make sense to me that in MOST relationships, in most relationships, the blowjob is only one half of the total sexual activity. Doesnt the male often find some way or another to return the favour? In most healthy relationships dont people take turns, or better yet, do each other simultaneously? Okay, so assuming this is true where does the subservience come in? Sounds like a fair deal to me! Now, as for the idea that performing the HUMMER is dirty or unhealthy, you may be interested to know that ejaculate consists of proteins and sugars and reportedly contains less than 36 calories. Thats not even one Weight Watchers point!
This was funny. I find it ironic that I got laid off once for talking about sex while stranded in a car for 10 hours with this dumb bitch (or co-worker as they would say) in Seattle. Americans need to take a fucking chill pill.
I have a question: Human development has reached the point where our species, via its highly technologically advanced society is capable of sending our DNA into the poor, unsuspecting vastness of outer space, yet, within our society, men and women can still not communicate about sex in an intelligent manner. Take for example: THE BLOWJOB.
Ah! Did you see that? All the women in the room all just did that look all at once! You know, the (demonstrate) look. Now, men like blowjobs. Blowjobs are good. Blowjobs are fun. Yet, blowjobs are looked down upon by our society. Come on, now. We all know that nice girls dont give head, right? It isnt PROPER! In fact, even our language ITSELF pushes this outdated ideal. Like George Carlin says, language always gives you away. What do we say when something is bad? When something is stupid, or lame, or boring, ya know, just plain bad. We say: THIS SUCKS and if we dont say sucks, look at what we say instead. hey man, this Tycus movie really BLOWS Yeah man, it LICKS. Ive even heard people say This SWALLOWS. Boy, that stand-up comic really SWALLOWS. Now t doesnt take a linguist or a social anthropologist to see what all of these words have in common. This is BRILLIANT, guys! We want the blowjob so bad we take euphemisms for it to describe anything that, well, sucks. Did anybody notice that we may be sending the wrong idea here?
And I mean, what is so bad about blowjobs? I mean, with all the rape and murder and thievery in this world we look down upon people for giving others orgasms? I mean, its probably about the nicest thing anybody could do! But people always say the same thing. Its degrading, subservient, dirty. Ooookay. Hold the phone for just one second. Now, Im a loser whos never had a girlfriend or any experience in sexual relationships that involve more people than myself, but... but it seems to make sense to me that in MOST relationships, in most relationships, the blowjob is only one half of the total sexual activity. Doesnt the male often find some way or another to return the favour? In most healthy relationships dont people take turns, or better yet, do each other simultaneously? Okay, so assuming this is true where does the subservience come in? Sounds like a fair deal to me! Now, as for the idea that performing the HUMMER is dirty or unhealthy, you may be interested to know that ejaculate consists of proteins and sugars and reportedly contains less than 36 calories. Thats not even one Weight Watchers point!
This was funny. I find it ironic that I got laid off once for talking about sex while stranded in a car for 10 hours with this dumb bitch (or co-worker as they would say) in Seattle. Americans need to take a fucking chill pill.
actually come to think of it i will. 
