Favourite Movie Quotes

[Jurched]

Awwrright, boys and girls, jews and gentiles, hippies and normal people: I wanna hear the best movie quotes out there!

I'm not talkin "most famous" or "best known" but those quotes you're gonna wanna use in everyday conversation or save for a day when you're thinkin about killing yourself and need a lift.

Here's my offering:

"Ho-ly Fu-ckin Shit! Motherfuckin' Yoda an' shit!"

Said by Jay to Silent Bob in Mall Rats after Silent Bob used the force to grab a video.

So, let's hear other quotes, who said it, and in what movie the rest've us can find it.

Jurched

 

[Dr.TEETH]

"I don't wanna kill anybody on our wedding day", Mickey tells Mallory, at their roadside wedding, after being heckled by a carload of snotty teenagers, in "Natural Born Killers".

 

[Hell_Awaits]

If you ladies leave my island, if you survive recruit training, you will be a weapon. You will be a minister of death praying for war. But until that day you are pukes. You are the lowest form of life on Earth. You are not even human, fucking beings. You are nothing but unorganized grabastic pieces of amphibian shit. Because I am hard you will not like me. But the more you hate me the more you will learn. I am hard but I am fair. There is no racial bigotry here. I do not look down on my pals, kikes, wops or greasers. Here you are all equally worthless. And my orders are to weed out all non-hackers who do not pack the gear to serve in my beloved Corps. Do you maggots understand that?

 

[Oblivious Maximus]

"Boy, the next word that comes out of your mouth better be some brilliant fuckin Mark Twain shit, 'cause it's definitely getting chiseled on your tombstone." - Otis in The Devil's Rejects

 

[T_man357]

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee. - Jules (Pulp Fiction)

 

[T_man357]

"Now listen up, you primitive screwheads. See this? This... is my boomstick! The 12-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You *got* that?" - Ash (Army Of Darkness)

 

[schenkadere]

From Unforgiven...my all time favorite movie!

The Schofield Kid: I ain't never killed no one before that, Will.
Bill Munny: Well, you sure killed the hell outta that guy.

and another from Bill Munny(Clint)

All right now, I'm comin' out. Any man I see out there, I'm gonna shoot him. Any sumbitch takes a shot at me, I'm not only gonna kill him, but I'm gonna kill his wife, all his friends, and burn his damn house down.

 

[Oblivious Maximus]

From Unforgiven...my all time favorite movie!

The Schofield Kid: I ain't never killed no one before that, Will.
Bill Munny: Well, you sure killed the hell outta that guy.

and another from Bill Munny(Clint)

All right now, I'm comin' out. Any man I see out there, I'm gonna shoot him. Any sumbitch takes a shot at me, I'm not only gonna kill him, but I'm gonna kill his wife, all his friends, and burn his damn house down.

An Unforgiven fan, Nice! that movie rules

 

[emoslayer]

from Ben Stiller in Zooloander:
"...and I became anorexic."

Stiller goes on to say...

"you mean you can read minds?"

Another great one is:

Han Solo to Luke skywalker in Star Wars:A New Hope

"Don't get cocky kid."

 

[TheAssMaster]

"You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!" - Michael Caine, "Italian Job"

"Fuck you, asshole" - Terminator

"Ugh! Ugh! Neuk!! Ich komme" etc etc - Any German porno.

 

[fah-q]

Dante - "My girlfriend sucked 37 dicks"
Anonymous patron "In a row?"

 

[schenkadere]

got three...

Star Wars in the cantina

Luke: I'll be more careful.
Weird dude: You'll be dead!

Star Wars again

Luke: I'm not afraid.
Yoda: You will be.

Amadaeus

picking out wigs

They'll all so beautiful...I wish I had three heads!

 

[T_man357]

Homer: Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked!
Marge: HOMER!
Homer: I gotta go Moe my damn weiner kids are listening

 

[Jurched]

John Witherspoon's first scene in Friday with Ice Cube:

DAD: "E-e-e-e-every time ahm in the kitchen, YOU'RE in the kitchen,
"In the goddamned refridgerator,
"EATIN a-a-a-a-all the food!
"All the chicken!
"All the pig feet!
"All the collard greens!
"All the hog mauls!
"Ah like chitlins! Ah wanna eat some pig FEET!
"Now last night before bed, didn't ah tell you to take out the trash?"

CRAIG: "Yeh."

DAD: "Why didn't you do it?"

CRAIG: "I was asleep."

DAD: "Bo-o-o-o-oy, ah wish you wuz asleep right now! I'd slap you upside the head, make you get up an take out that trash!
"EH! EH EH EH EH! WHAT ARE YOU DOIN?"

CRAIG: "I'm throwin this cereal away. We ain't got no milk."

DAD: "You betta PUT some water on that DAMN SHIT!"

Jurched

 

[Jurched]

And, from "Trading Places:"

Small Prisoner: "Tell us agin how you took out that cop."

Billy Ray: "Wazn't no cop. Was cop'sssss. Plural. Four cops. I took out four cops."

Big prisoner: "Now wait. You beat up four cops? How come ain't no marks on you?"

Billy Ray: "Cause I'm a KARATE man! Karate man bleed on the inside. They don't show their weaknesses. But you don't know bout that, cause you're an ugly sack'a shit."

Big Prisoner tightens fist, moves closer.

Billy Ray: "Hhhuh. Wish my bitch'd get here."

Big prisoner: "Yeah, so WHERE yo bitches at, Mr. Big time pimp?"

Other big prisoner: "YEAH!"

Billy Ray: "Didn't I tell him? Didn't I tell him the limo phone was broke?"

Small prisoner: "Yeh. Limo phone broke! Whatt're you, ignorant?"

Big prisoner: "Ain't cool to be no jive ass turkey, so close to Thanksgivin."

Other big prisoner: "YEAH!"

Billy Ray: "Hey now, back da fuck off. You don't know who you dealin with. Hwaa! Hwoo! Hwaaaaaaaa! YOU know who you're fuckin with? Hwaaaa! BILLY RAY VALENTINE! In the third cell ON THE SECOND FLOOR!!"

Cop: "Billy Ray Valentine?"

Billy Ray (held up by two big prisoners: "Yes?"

Cop: "You've made bail."

Billy Ray: "I have?"


Jurched

 

[T_man357]

Tommy DeVito: What do you mean I'm funny?
Henry Hill: It's funny, you know. It's a good story, it's funny, you're a funny guy.
[laughs]
Tommy DeVito: what do you mean, you mean the way I talk? What?
Henry Hill: It's just, you know. You're just funny, it's... funny, the way you tell the story and everything.
Tommy DeVito: [it becomes quiet] Funny how? What's funny about it?
Tommy DeVito: What did ya say? Funny how?
Henry Hill: Jus...
Tommy DeVito: What?
Henry Hill: Just... ya know... you're funny.
Tommy DeVito: You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?
Henry Hill: Just... you know, how you tell the story, what?
Tommy DeVito: No, no, I don't know, you said it. How do I know? You said I'm funny. How the fuck am I funny, what the fuck is so funny about me? Tell me, tell me what's funny!
Henry Hill: [long pause] Get the fuck out of here, Tommy!
Tommy DeVito: [everyone laughs] Ya motherfucker! I almost had him, I almost had him. Ya stuttering prick ya. Frankie, was he shaking? I wonder about you sometimes, Henry. You may fold under questioning.

 

[T_man357]

Jimmy Dix: I figure you gotta be the dumbest guy in the world, Joe. You're trying the save the life of the man who ruined your career, and avenge the death of the guy that fucked your wife.

 

[T_man357]

Marv: This is blood for blood and by the gallon. These are the old days, the bad days, the all-or-nothing days. They're back! There's no choice left. And I'm ready for war.

 

[Hell_Awaits]

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee. - Jules (Pulp Fiction)

Thats a great quote.

 

[Hell_Awaits]

We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine, and a whole multi colored collection of uppers, downers, laughers, screamers... Also, a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls. Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can. The only thing that really worried me was the ether. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge, and I knew we'd get into that rotten stuff pretty soon.

-Raoul Duke