- Apr 10, 2006
- 11,386
- 2,033
- 113
Hello my friends.
I was thinking, wouldn't it be a strange to leave your body to a new person and wouldn't the conversation during the handover be strange. Seems like you would have to give him some instructions regarding your body, after all it's been used and stuff. You might have cared about it, I know people who ride a bike and shit, and then somebody doesn't and does drugs and just leaves it to rot away.
I just saw some druggies here at work coming through the reception. The guy was obviously on meth and the girl was probably a whore that sucks cock for some cash. What's strange is the complete misplacement of their shitty selves in here, a stupidly expensive building with reception and shit. What I'm saying is that the guy looked like complete shit and his body has to be a drug-ridden ghost town.
Stuff really does shit to you. I know a guy from Guatemala and he does all this bicycle riding, he never drinks beer and he's a sportsman in general, but his body is kinda short. Then I know a guy from Slovakia who has a large belly. I know a guy who eats ramen all the time and still looks alrightish, just throws up all the time.
Well anyway, if I was to imagine the situation, the new dude using my body would go what the fuck is on my stomach and I would say 'that's a footlong scar, motherfucker'. A good name for a band, or for an anti-hero in a children book. THE FOOTLONG SCAR. IT'S GOING TO RAPE YOUR CHILDHOOD. IT'S GONNA DEFEAT YOUR FUCKING SHIT YOU'RE GONNA LOSE IT CHILD. YOU'RE GOING TO DIE, SMALL HUMAN. SUCK THE FOOTLONG.
'There's another scar here, and here'. Yes there are many scars on this body. There's one on the back of the head too, you can't see that. I got drunk and danced and fell on the head.
There's one thing you should know. You don't have a large intestine at all. It's been surgically removed so you kinda have diarrhea all the time. 'what what omg I didn't sing up for this etc' well it's not like you paid too well for this piece of shit body you will have to deal with a liquid stool you mameluke. At least you can hold on to your shit but only if you dildo yourself regularly otherwise you start shitting yourself. 'WHAT?? What is this piece of garbage good for anyway?? I paid five grand etc, there's no muscle nothing and it's missing organs and I have to pleasure myself in the butt'.
STOP FUCKING WHINING my pals. At least you're not fat or anorectic. At least you have almost all teeth. At least you don't have a tattoo or some other stupid shit.
Oh, did I mention the dandruff that you can literally do nothing about except like, scalp your fucking skull.
Regarding the management, I have to warn you about several things. This body needs beer it basically runs on beer. If you don't do beer often you get sick. During spring you will feel like shit because of allergies you won't breathe well and you will have a runny nose for like two months and you need to get some pills for that which will make you incredibly sleepy. During summer you will mostly feel like collapsing. I don't know what it is but once the weather gets warmer the body malfunctions and you feel like dying. MOST IMPORTANT: Beer is okay but don't ever drink hard liquor, especially during summer. You would die.
And I didn't mention the backpains that come once in about two years and disallow any movement. Count with that. The dick is fine though. I was once talking to a friend and we discussed our dicks and apparently other dicks have like a half hard erection and stuff like that. Well my dick can't do that brother, it's either a flaccid useless nonsense or it's hard as quartz. If it's not working touch some girl's butt it immediately starts up.
I thought this little thing would be interesting in case of women because they differ much more radically I think. Some pussy wet as fuck, some can't climax. I had a girl and she produced a large quantity of vaginal juices and I talked to my friend and he said "AMAZING! VERY FUNCTIONAL!" and his eyes gleamed, but it was actually quite impractical. You could fill a swimming pool with that shit but god there was just a lot of it.
On the other end of the spectrum, my friend, the one that eats ramen all the time, had this chick who had a little horsey face and she failed to produce any of this natural lube and I was quite confused when I was visiting this dude and there was this whitish stain on his chair and I used this opportunity to ask my favorite question "is this ejaculate" and he said "this is hers". I think I might have still been a virgin at that time and I remember that answer since then and I was staring at the stain and cogs were turning in my head. But this girl is dry as Gobi. Is this her spit?
This guy once fucked three women on the same day which I find dexterous and quite demanding. I have never had two girls on the same day. I might have french kissed two at the same party but actually mow a triplet in such short window of time? Never. And he said to me 'I slept at a girl's place woke up banged, I had lunch at another girl's place and banged, and then I went to another girl's place in the evening and banged and slept there'. I doesn't sound so hard to do when you say it like this.
Me and this guy used to smoke water pipe outside and I always fell asleep and he always threw up.
I still haven't explained why I use 'is this ejaculate' often. I was once returning from school and I met this silly but quite sexy chick and I had these black pants and there was some ejaculate on it and she asked 'is this ejaculate' and I said 'yes'. About ten people in the bus overheard that short exchange and we laughed about it.
Reminds me how she came to me once out of nowhere and said 'I think you jack off five times a day'. I was confused and asked her why she has this impression of me but about five days later I approached her and only said 'five' and she knew what I meant. There was this little understanding between us even though we barely talked.
This girl will have saggy fucking tits soon. She had these blue-veined milk bombs but you could see how heavy they were. Gravity will take its toll, money won't help you bitch.
I was thinking, wouldn't it be a strange to leave your body to a new person and wouldn't the conversation during the handover be strange. Seems like you would have to give him some instructions regarding your body, after all it's been used and stuff. You might have cared about it, I know people who ride a bike and shit, and then somebody doesn't and does drugs and just leaves it to rot away.
I just saw some druggies here at work coming through the reception. The guy was obviously on meth and the girl was probably a whore that sucks cock for some cash. What's strange is the complete misplacement of their shitty selves in here, a stupidly expensive building with reception and shit. What I'm saying is that the guy looked like complete shit and his body has to be a drug-ridden ghost town.
Stuff really does shit to you. I know a guy from Guatemala and he does all this bicycle riding, he never drinks beer and he's a sportsman in general, but his body is kinda short. Then I know a guy from Slovakia who has a large belly. I know a guy who eats ramen all the time and still looks alrightish, just throws up all the time.
Well anyway, if I was to imagine the situation, the new dude using my body would go what the fuck is on my stomach and I would say 'that's a footlong scar, motherfucker'. A good name for a band, or for an anti-hero in a children book. THE FOOTLONG SCAR. IT'S GOING TO RAPE YOUR CHILDHOOD. IT'S GONNA DEFEAT YOUR FUCKING SHIT YOU'RE GONNA LOSE IT CHILD. YOU'RE GOING TO DIE, SMALL HUMAN. SUCK THE FOOTLONG.
'There's another scar here, and here'. Yes there are many scars on this body. There's one on the back of the head too, you can't see that. I got drunk and danced and fell on the head.
There's one thing you should know. You don't have a large intestine at all. It's been surgically removed so you kinda have diarrhea all the time. 'what what omg I didn't sing up for this etc' well it's not like you paid too well for this piece of shit body you will have to deal with a liquid stool you mameluke. At least you can hold on to your shit but only if you dildo yourself regularly otherwise you start shitting yourself. 'WHAT?? What is this piece of garbage good for anyway?? I paid five grand etc, there's no muscle nothing and it's missing organs and I have to pleasure myself in the butt'.
STOP FUCKING WHINING my pals. At least you're not fat or anorectic. At least you have almost all teeth. At least you don't have a tattoo or some other stupid shit.
Oh, did I mention the dandruff that you can literally do nothing about except like, scalp your fucking skull.
Regarding the management, I have to warn you about several things. This body needs beer it basically runs on beer. If you don't do beer often you get sick. During spring you will feel like shit because of allergies you won't breathe well and you will have a runny nose for like two months and you need to get some pills for that which will make you incredibly sleepy. During summer you will mostly feel like collapsing. I don't know what it is but once the weather gets warmer the body malfunctions and you feel like dying. MOST IMPORTANT: Beer is okay but don't ever drink hard liquor, especially during summer. You would die.
And I didn't mention the backpains that come once in about two years and disallow any movement. Count with that. The dick is fine though. I was once talking to a friend and we discussed our dicks and apparently other dicks have like a half hard erection and stuff like that. Well my dick can't do that brother, it's either a flaccid useless nonsense or it's hard as quartz. If it's not working touch some girl's butt it immediately starts up.
I thought this little thing would be interesting in case of women because they differ much more radically I think. Some pussy wet as fuck, some can't climax. I had a girl and she produced a large quantity of vaginal juices and I talked to my friend and he said "AMAZING! VERY FUNCTIONAL!" and his eyes gleamed, but it was actually quite impractical. You could fill a swimming pool with that shit but god there was just a lot of it.
On the other end of the spectrum, my friend, the one that eats ramen all the time, had this chick who had a little horsey face and she failed to produce any of this natural lube and I was quite confused when I was visiting this dude and there was this whitish stain on his chair and I used this opportunity to ask my favorite question "is this ejaculate" and he said "this is hers". I think I might have still been a virgin at that time and I remember that answer since then and I was staring at the stain and cogs were turning in my head. But this girl is dry as Gobi. Is this her spit?
This guy once fucked three women on the same day which I find dexterous and quite demanding. I have never had two girls on the same day. I might have french kissed two at the same party but actually mow a triplet in such short window of time? Never. And he said to me 'I slept at a girl's place woke up banged, I had lunch at another girl's place and banged, and then I went to another girl's place in the evening and banged and slept there'. I doesn't sound so hard to do when you say it like this.
Me and this guy used to smoke water pipe outside and I always fell asleep and he always threw up.
I still haven't explained why I use 'is this ejaculate' often. I was once returning from school and I met this silly but quite sexy chick and I had these black pants and there was some ejaculate on it and she asked 'is this ejaculate' and I said 'yes'. About ten people in the bus overheard that short exchange and we laughed about it.
Reminds me how she came to me once out of nowhere and said 'I think you jack off five times a day'. I was confused and asked her why she has this impression of me but about five days later I approached her and only said 'five' and she knew what I meant. There was this little understanding between us even though we barely talked.
This girl will have saggy fucking tits soon. She had these blue-veined milk bombs but you could see how heavy they were. Gravity will take its toll, money won't help you bitch.
