How would you evaluate your own social skills?

[Draehl]

I'm pretty shit with small talk but pretty awesome when it comes to having deeper conversations. Thus I have a small circle of good friends as opposed to a large circle of acquaintances.

/shrug

 

[Vimana]

I used to be socially paranoid as a result of meeting a lot of assholes in elementary school and middle school. I went to so many different schools that I had a bunch of chances to start over. I could've been whatever person I wanted, and I would be the kind of person the "cool" people wanted to talk to, but eventually I just wanted to be myself and got bored of their topics of conversation.

I don't have many close friends, and being myself doesn't draw the people I want. I tend to float around a bunch of groups because aspects of each tend to annoy the hell out of me.

 

[The Ozzman]

I was a loner and outcast when I was younger. As a result, I'm more anti-social than average and I'm also more anxious on average. I'm trying to curtail this as it's not really advantageous to me getting better jobs or making new friends.

 

[theoden236]

i'm sort of anti-social as well. i mean, if people wanna start a conversation with me then i can try to continue it, but i'm no good at being the starter, since i don't have alot to talk about in life that would be interesting to anyone; aside from work & occasional recording ventures, i pretty much have no life.

 

[Pessimism]

Nothing is better than whipping your wiener around in public in the attempt to gain a girlfriend.

 

[SentinelSlain]

They're shit because of how bad tempered I am. Talking to girls sober is no longer a problemo though. I just don't give a shit what old grannies think about the weather.

 

[Vimana]

You also hate it when little boys ask their grandmothers if you're a girl. No one else other than that boy said that, and for the record, he called him a retard to his face in front of his grandmother.

 

[SentinelSlain]

Damn straight. That was the proudest day of my life. Fucking A.

 

[damnromulans]

Really interesting posts here.

Wednesday night was a perfect example of where I stand socially I think. I went out and about with MP and a small group of friends. We ended up in a big group of people who I sort of know. I ignored everyone else completely and just talked to the people I already knew, and soon was like "this sucks, let's go somewhere else."

This does not bode well for my upcoming move. The "I already have a million friends, fuck you" attitude doesn't work when you don't know anyone.

 

[mutantllama]

Mine aren't that great, I usually don't say much during conversations.

 

[Matt]

Depends. Sometimes I can be really great at smalltalk and being sociable..other times I feel totally inept. Bleh.

 

[Raevenge]

I used to be pretty good at engaging people in conversation. It's really not that hard. A few well-aimed questions and you can keep people talking about themselves for hours without having to say much of anything at all. And they'll think you're the best conversationalist ever. People love to talk about themselves. That can be very advantageous and sometimes boring as hell.

As I get older I feel like I am also drifting further apart. Maybe this is because as I get older I become more in tune with who I am as a person and delve deeper into particular interests of mine, which aren't that common with most.

Even if I see a potential opportunity arise for me to strike up a conversation or befriend someone, these days I am far more likely to refrain from initiating any sort of convo, unless the other person does first. Even then, it's hard for me to share anything with those who have very casual interests and see things on a very surface level, which is unfortunately most people, so I'd rather just pass on the opportunity than force a lackluster conversation. I'm much better at "reading" people and listening than I am at relating to them and making conversation.

Great post. I feel like I could've written it but I'm almost beyond even that point. I find most people shallow and dull. It's almost impossible to have an honest conversation with anyone now. There are just too many people high on the politically correct junkie train. They say what they think they're supposed to say instead of what they feel so I find it hard to believe a word most people say. I'd rather just not talk to them at all. Every now and again, I'll come across that rare gem who tells it like it is and doesn't give a damn, but those people are becoming more rare.

I'd rather be alone than surrounded by people who parrot the political correctness of society instead of figuring out how to think for themselves. As a result, my social skills have gotten rusty from disuse or misuse, whichever way you want to look at it.

 

[The Emptier]

I feel like I'm doing so much better lately, as I said earlier in the thread I don't have a great time socializing and I usually don't "like" people, but now, like tonight for instance I was at a friends surprise birthday party and it was rowdy (clean) fun and usually I would just sit around and watch. But we were playing "just dance" on the Wii and I was up there just doing my thing and people were literally just dying of laughter, it was an amazing time and I felt it was so easy to just break loose and be myself and free. It's so easy to just be the guy that sits around looking mopy, and trust me i've been there for years, but I think once you get the courage to just get up and fucking DANCE (or strike up a conversation) it all just settles into place. I'm not sure if I can keep up the funny man thing, but I sure like it for now. Of course confounding elements like me graduating in a week, perfect weather, and an overall "i don't give a fuck because i'm moving in three weeks" attitude may have something to do with it. but for now, i'm liking it

 

[Astrum]

This has been on my mind since yesterday when I was talking over brunch with a friend about how we feel like as we get older, our ability to operate smoothly in new/uncomfortable social situations just goes down the toilet.

If you asked me a year or two ago I'd say I was "above average" in dealing with people, but these days I just feel crippling awkwardness/misanthropy when I see people I sort of know but have nothing to say to, and my instinct is to ignore them. I also suffer from diarrhea of the mouth and find myself babbling a lot, something I haven't had a problem with since middle school. When I look for jobs online I click "next" if the phrase "team player" pops up.

How about you guys? Are you socially inept or graceful at navigating people?

this is basically paralell to me. i used to be wicked social, lots of friends. bitches? no problem. but as the years have gone on i find myself spacier and less approachable, with the same diarreah of the mouth problem.

 

[Raevenge]

Diarrhea of the mouth happens when you spend too much time alone. Go too long without talking, then have someone to talk to and you can't shut up.

 

[Astrum]

i don't spend a lot of time alone though, that's the weird thing. i think i just had a bad winter and it left me disoriented and confused...

 

[entanglement]

When I'm on my feet, I'm super social and extremely good with the chicks. (Speaking of which, I'm now in posession of a super hot piece of ass ) If I'm going through a lazy period, I'm that creep in the tram who sits in the corner looking out the window and misses his station by 2 or 3.

 

[Srontgorrth]

I'd say pretty good. I make small talk with people here and there, meet new people yadda yadda yadda. I used to be a bit more introverted, but not so much now.

 

[Episteme]

When I'm on my feet, I'm super social and extremely good with the chicks. (Speaking of which, I'm now in posession of a super hot piece of ass ) If I'm going through a lazy period, I'm that creep in the tram who sits in the corner looking out the window and misses his station by 2 or 3.

 

[entanglement]

Hers or mine?