i broke up with my girlfriend

When you're finally married with kids, you'll wish you were single again.
 
^ Are you getting some action? If not, I can't imagine being happier having to jerk it, rather than sticking my cock in a wet vagina. Or a dry one for that matter.
 
All the money you make is yours, you have all the free time you want, as well as time to your self, the WHOLE BED is yours, no one to tell you you're not going out with your friends... Damn, what's wrong with that?


(Cara is a rare exception in the world of relationships, and she and Derick should be seen as a guide to how things SHOULD work.)