i got slapped by an old woman tonight

[NAD]

at band practice, right when we're about done this old chick comes up to us and says she digs us but wants us to play some ac/dc, steppenwolf, or led zeppelin. well no, we didn't, but we did play her some of our tunes. that's about when things start getting ill. she starts jumping around like a spaz yelling screaming and hitting one of my friends in the foot (who knows why). later she gets in my face and says YOU WANNA PLAY KNUCKLES?!?! and i say noway so she slaps me in the face! i was a bit shocked and kept telling her "no god dammit i just wanna sit here and drink my beer!" so she slaps me again! at that point i thought "holy shit i'm gonna have to punch a woman i can't believe it" and then a THIRD FUCKING SLAP happens but i must've given her the look of i'll-eat-your-fucking-soul because she bailed and started bugging someone else.

then a bunch of jumped in a truck and headed for the hills to ditch her. rode back in the bed and almost died, but it was worth it. now i have to go watch harley davidson and the marlboro man, peace out.

 

[NAD]

oh yeah and during all this my guitarist said "HE'LL PLAY BUTTDARTS WITH YOU" so she sat on my lap and i almost hurled. that part sucked.

 

[MajestikMøøse]

five stars

 

[Thanatopsis123]

How old was this woman?

 

[Captain Beard]

Yes five stars.

 

[Six-winged Seraph]

five stars

:hotjump:

 

[NAD]

How old was this woman?

somewhere between 40 and 60. she was telling us old stories about pcp so we couldn't really tell if she was old or just cracked out. either way she lives down the street from my guitarist's house, where we practice. so it's not the last we've seen of her i'm sure.

last time something like this happened was with Mountain Bum. we were offroading in the local hills and some whack job chased us down then told us how to make booze in a toilet and about all the buried c4 in his dad's yard that he got arrested for. buncha savages in this town.

 

[Conspicuously Absent]

buncha savages in this town.

"that's what I said"

 

[Night Mare]

buncha savages in this town.

"Da-dum... da-dum... da dum da dum da dum... we're gonna need a bigger boat!"

 

[Krilons Resa]

That rules. I have have PLENTY of weird shit happen to me. They are bred in my hometown and now here in Providence too. Nature's way of entertaining me.

 

[Tide In Mind Out]

 

[Demonspell]

While I don't necessarily approve of punching weathered hippies, a man has to defend to his beer and/or stoner rock. Hilarious, and I would try immortalizing her in song if she strikes again.

 

[E-bortion]

Sounds like the kind of women you piss inside of

 

[Captain Beard]

piss inside of?

 

[MFJ]

piss inside of.

 

[Captain Beard]

Why would you piss in a woman? Would she piss it back?

 

[NAD]

Sounds like the kind of women you piss inside of

i seriously want to gaymarry you.

 

[E-bortion]

Why would you piss in a woman? Would she piss it back?

If she does, you spit in her mouth, lick her face, and then strangle her blue.

 

[E-bortion]

Now I'm all horny. Goddamnit.

 

[Conspicuously Absent]

I'm just creeped out. lol.