I went to the hospital today

okay, here's my chapter two of English English 405: How to Write a Gripping, Tensile Post ala Profanity.
............................................
It was much like any other summer's day in Columbus, and I was on my way to work as usual when....(Dramatic music) nothing happened.

Scarcely able to believe my eyes, I looked down. But one glance confirmed my suspicions. Behind a bush on the side of the road, there was no severed arm, no dismembered trunk of a man in his late fifties, no head in a bag, nothing...not a sock.

For me, this was not to be the start of any trail of events which would not, in no time at all, involve me in neither a tangled knot of suspicion nor any web of lies, which would, had I been not uninvolved, surely have led to no other place than East Broad Street, Columbus Ohio!

But it was not to be. I reached my office in East Columbus at 6:30 am. Exactly the same time as I usually get in.

Secretary: Morning, Rick.
Rick: Morning, Enid.

Enid, a sharp eyed, clever young girl, who had been with the govt. for only 4 weeks, couldn't help noticing the complete absence of tiny but telltale bloodstains on my clothing. Nor did she notice anything strange in my behavior that whole morning! Nor the next morning. Nor at any time before or since the entire period she worked with the government.

~discuss~
 
Yeah by the way, that's not a tall tale. I don't know the girl (she's in my school), but apparently her mother was one of the people that had to deal with it.
 
lizard, you forgot to put a part like "and then I stood there and stared at her for 15 minutes straight w/o blinking," because Profanity is good at adding stalker elements.
 
hahaha yeah that rocked. i love all the subdivisions of racial slurs between asians.

listening to a group of asian chicks making fun of other groups of asians is one of the most rewarding experiences i've uhh, experienced.
 
Arch said:
Profanity dilutes meaningful discussions on forums with his meaningless spam. Would you want Royal Carnage to look like Seriously Off Topic?

to tell you the truth, there are off topic threads on this forum. ones NOT posted by Profanity. have you complained about them, too? or just this one?
 
Nice one Lizard...I'm amazed that someone would even bother to read about Profanity's misadventures, to say nothing of emulating his posting style. And I've seen very little spam from the regulars here, unless the more purely nonsensical posts are included in your definition.