I NEED OF TONE!!!

[visceral]

D***wad
"OK, so Im running a metal zone through my line 6 spider. I gots me a sweet mic from the radio shack that cost like $20! How should I mic my amp so I can sound like machine head?"

Me
"dude are you for real? Why dont you just use my 5150 & sm57"

him
"what is a 5150"

me
"Its the go to amp for an awesome metal guitar tone"

him
"But I got my rig set up just how I like it"

Seriously guys, what the hell do you do with people like this?

 

[Jaymz]

Punch them

 

[shredder10]

Happens to everyone when starting out!

 

[Chryst Krispies]

Blunt force trauma.

 

[kev]

What a cunt. But I was that guy once. (and i'm still a cunt )

 

[Jarkko Mattheiszen]

Tell him his tone is pretty cool, but that Machine Head tracked with a 5150 because its dynamic phase response and harmonic saturation works better because the magnetic fields might interfere with the Spider's natural compression, and using the Radio Shack microphone might cause a zero potency instability and overload the AD-converter's second gain stage, and the resulting impedance mismatch would lead to a situation where you are forced to smack the musician's head repeatedly with the Spider's floorboard until the ground loop issue is solved and he painfully bleeds to death.

 

[Dalinkwent48@aim.com]

Tell him his tone is pretty cool, but that Machine Head tracked with a 5150 because its dynamic phase response and harmonic saturation works better because the magnetic fields might interfere with the Spider's natural compression, and using the Radio Shack microphone might cause a zero potency instability and overload the AD-converter's second gain stage, and the resulting impedance mismatch would lead to a situation where you are forced to smack the musician's head repeatedly with the Spider's floorboard until the ground loop issue is solved and he painfully bleeds to death.

THIS

 

[robfromthedeep]

Tell him his tone is pretty cool, but that Machine Head tracked with a 5150 because its dynamic phase response and harmonic saturation works better because the magnetic fields might interfere with the Spider's natural compression, and using the Radio Shack microphone might cause a zero potency instability and overload the AD-converter's second gain stage, and the resulting impedance mismatch would lead to a situation where you are forced to smack the musician's head repeatedly with the Spider's floorboard until the ground loop issue is solved and he painfully bleeds to death.

Holy shit. That was amazing.

 

[MarkG]

Tell him his tone is pretty cool, but that Machine Head tracked with a 5150 because its dynamic phase response and harmonic saturation works better because the magnetic fields might interfere with the Spider's natural compression, and using the Radio Shack microphone might cause a zero potency instability and overload the AD-converter's second gain stage, and the resulting impedance mismatch would lead to a situation where you are forced to smack the musician's head repeatedly with the Spider's floorboard until the ground loop issue is solved and he painfully bleeds to death.

I second this

 

[AntonioPetrole]

Tell him his tone is pretty cool, but that Machine Head tracked with a 5150 because its dynamic phase response and harmonic saturation works better because the magnetic fields might interfere with the Spider's natural compression, and using the Radio Shack microphone might cause a zero potency instability and overload the AD-converter's second gain stage, and the resulting impedance mismatch would lead to a situation where you are forced to smack the musician's head repeatedly with the Spider's floorboard until the ground loop issue is solved and he painfully bleeds to death.

/thread

seriously, just outsmart him whether it makes sense or not, he wont know if its different. Make it seem like fact instead of taste

 

[Melb_shredder]

agreed! outsmart the fucker. or... di as well.. reamp when he isn't looking tell him it's the spider and you were wrong... continue to giggle to yourself XD

 

[Seth Munson]

am I the only one that thinks the spider > 5150?

I mean hes got a fucking metalzone pedal.
does your 5150 have a metalzone pedal? I think not.

 

[nex666]

You could just do a nice recording, then compare it to his recording? If he still thinks his is better..well, shoot him or something.

 

[AHChris]

5150 are shit anyways... They don´t even have an "Insane" channel...

 

[joshwheelermusic]

First, tell him to fuck off for trying to tell you to use his radioshack mic because who the fuck brings a mic with them to studio? seriously. However, it is his tone and your clients pay you to make their music sound the way they want. It's your job to make it sound good. I don't know why so many people seem to only be able to use a 5150 or a trip rect. I have to admit though, metal zones are the absolute fucking worst for recording..

 

[the decline]

hahaha

 

[Lasse Lammert]

I've always been able to solve that issue with a blind test.
only when they're REALLY stubborn and they pcik your amp in ablindtest saying "wow that other amp sucks balls" (not knowing that it's their amp...more often than not a Pball btw) and then they STILL insist on using their piece of shit, in that case there are two solutions:

1. if the band isnt great but likely to cause stupid problems like this all the way down to the mastering I'll just send them home telling them that I don't wanna have my name on it.
2.DI-Reamp.

but in 98% of the times a blind test will solve it...at least if they're serious about their music and sound

 

[TheWinterSnow]

Lasse semi beat me to it. stick a DI before the distortion pedal and then record the amp like normal. When you send them home for the night, you then reamp the DI's that you got and use those for guitars instead. When asked why you are placing a DI in his signal, tell him that is just splits the guitar signal so you can get a transient map for sidechain compression in post processing to tighten up the sound. When they come in the next day shitting their pants to the tone and how much better it sounds just say, "thats sidechain compression for you".

 

[Ermz]

Yep, blind test.

 

[drew_drummer]

Just be honest. Tell him he knows fuck all about recording, and can barely play guitar. Call him every name under the sun... then say... my way or the highway!!