Lets make Opeth jokes!
- Thread starter Belial
- Start date
Mosh Kosh
Rider Of Muscat
Lakestream
Member
how many opethians does it take to change a lightbuld?
one to actually change it, and 99 to debate whether old or new Opeth is better.
eh, yeah, that's it
one to actually change it, and 99 to debate whether old or new Opeth is better.
eh, yeah, that's it
Demonspell
cheating the polygraph
The real answer to how any Opethians does it take to change a lightbulb: Only one, but he'll reqire ten minutes to do it, during which he'll recite poetry.
Demonspell
cheating the polygraph
If Opeth and Radiohead collaborated, what would happen? Orchid A. Maybe they should have called it Bongwater Park, after all you can't spell Opeth without pot.
Cutter
Fuck consensus reality
Static
Manically depressed robot
I could do more, but I'll give these little people a chance to top my magnificent incredible and stupendous sense of humour, god I'm good.
hakkikt
Member
THE REAL ANSWER:
How any Opethians does it take to change a lightbulb: Four of them, but they need 2 guitars, a bass and a drumset. They'd take from 6 to 20 minutes to do it. But no matter how good, there would be years of longs discussions from a bunch of people argumenting how the old Opeth would have done it better than the new one.
Cheers,
Hakkikt
Rusty
A-HAHAHA!
Originally posted by Static
I could do more, but I'll give these little people a chance to top my magnificent incredible and stupendous sense of humour, god I'm good.
Just get on with it you funny git.
MadTinus
Language enthusiast
Peter Lindgren walks into a doctor's office and there's a frog on his head.
The doctor says, "So, how long has it been like this?"
The frog says, "I don't know, but it all started with a bump on my ass."
The doctor says, "So, how long has it been like this?"
The frog says, "I don't know, but it all started with a bump on my ass."
Static
Manically depressed robot
Alright I'll try another news article:
MIKAEL AKERFELDT SUSPECTED MELINDA MOLESTER.
The world was shocked today when a Ms. Melinda told the press that Mr Akerfeldt had called her an "ungodly freak" and "defiler". She went on to tell the police chief he had called her name, in the name of desperation, again and again. As she had tried to escape, her fragrance still pulsating through damp air, Mr Akerfeldt had apparently tried to violate her "secret orchid". Akerfeldt adamantly denied he had been clutching at his tool while beckoning right behind her.
He commented: "I was minding my own business, wandering through the vast enchanted forest in solitude, when Melinda, reflected in shafts, said "come into this night when you're able", she actually invited me to coldly caress her with decrepit and thin hands". Melinda desputed this stating: "he kept saying what would they care? no-one would know, oh oh!, while he tried to guide me inside his warped labyrinth". The police chief stated that molesting others was: "The tainted dogma", and that perpetrators should be: "Seared and beaten, choking in warm ponds of blood, draped within a fate they cannot change, each and every one to die at my hand", such was his anger. Currently Akerfeldt is detained, awaiting the sunrise, hidden inside the golden shrine by the police. He allegedly also sent a message to Melinda: "I would give anything to see you again, if only for another second, recognise my loneliness, embrace my proud autumn treetop". Authorities urge the public to remain calm and not let this tragic incident come and distort their sight.
Thats my second attempt at being funny.
MIKAEL AKERFELDT SUSPECTED MELINDA MOLESTER.
The world was shocked today when a Ms. Melinda told the press that Mr Akerfeldt had called her an "ungodly freak" and "defiler". She went on to tell the police chief he had called her name, in the name of desperation, again and again. As she had tried to escape, her fragrance still pulsating through damp air, Mr Akerfeldt had apparently tried to violate her "secret orchid". Akerfeldt adamantly denied he had been clutching at his tool while beckoning right behind her.
He commented: "I was minding my own business, wandering through the vast enchanted forest in solitude, when Melinda, reflected in shafts, said "come into this night when you're able", she actually invited me to coldly caress her with decrepit and thin hands". Melinda desputed this stating: "he kept saying what would they care? no-one would know, oh oh!, while he tried to guide me inside his warped labyrinth". The police chief stated that molesting others was: "The tainted dogma", and that perpetrators should be: "Seared and beaten, choking in warm ponds of blood, draped within a fate they cannot change, each and every one to die at my hand", such was his anger. Currently Akerfeldt is detained, awaiting the sunrise, hidden inside the golden shrine by the police. He allegedly also sent a message to Melinda: "I would give anything to see you again, if only for another second, recognise my loneliness, embrace my proud autumn treetop". Authorities urge the public to remain calm and not let this tragic incident come and distort their sight.
Thats my second attempt at being funny.
random_phil
Bigley's head
Lakestream
Member
Actually something near that would be better..
Q: How many metalheads does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: It doesn't matter. They'll just sit around arguing whether the old or new lightbulb is better.
Q: How many metalheads does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: It doesn't matter. They'll just sit around arguing whether the old or new lightbulb is better.
Parasite
Captain Evil
Not really a joke, but a story...
My dumbass non-metalhead friend and I were listening to "White Cluster", and he turned to me confused and said, "Did he just say 'Foil on skin, my mexican'?"
My dumbass non-metalhead friend and I were listening to "White Cluster", and he turned to me confused and said, "Did he just say 'Foil on skin, my mexican'?"
