The Opeth joke thread

[Mind Numbing Peanuts]

well botfly you see how can you find opeth if you are blind i dont understand.....

 

[deliverance]

What's the difference between Mikael Akerfeldt and Profanity?

Mike plays in Opeth, Profanity is an asshole.

 

[spigot]

What's the difference between Profanity and Opeth?

Profanity is better than Opeth

Opeth jokes are 400% more funnier with profanity in it.

 

[Shadows Skulk]

One day Mike accidentally let the f-word slip around Melinda. Anna promptly replied "stop using profanity!" So Mike took his dick out of Profanity's ass and came on his back and told him to go home.

 

[Brains for breakfast]

One day Mike accidentally let the f-word slip around Melinda. Anna promptly replied "stop using profanity!" So Mike took his dick out of Profanity's ass and came on his back and told him to go home.

Minister: Who cursed here? I don't want profanity in my church!

So the church goers draged profanity outside and shot him in the head. After church they had a barbeque and ate chicken. Profanity went to hell and had to listen to Satans bad jokes for all eternity:

Satan: Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it's kvlt!

 

[deliverance]

One day Mike accidentally let the f-word slip around Melinda. Anna promptly replied "stop using profanity!" So Mike took his dick out of Profanity's ass and came on his back and told him to go home.

hahahahahaha

 

[Profanity]

Why weren't Opeth at the Download Festival?

because everyone had downloaded their music.

 

[Profanity]

Opeth jokes only please.

 

[Nitronium Blood]

Q. Why will Opeth open for Korn?

A. Because they have 'sold out'. HahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

 

[Melinda's Lover]

Mikael Akerfeldt asked his dad:

"Dad, is God black or white?"

"Both, my son."

"Dad, is God a man or a woman?"

"Both, my son."

"Dad, is God gay or straight?"

"Both, my son."

"Dad, is God Michael Jackson?"

 

[Botfly]

q: what's brown and sits on a piano bench?

a: beethoven's fifth movement LMAO

 

[Profanity]

Do you people not know what an Opeth joke is?

 

[deliverance]

Do you people not know what an Opeth joke is?

your opeth jokes..or any jokes for that matter, are terrible, so why bother asking that?

 

[Profanity]

^ you didn't answer my question, you made up your own question to answer.

 

[BRI]

^You haven't posted a single Opeth joke.

 

[Profanity]

How about this one:

A few bands had to go through a door to get into the arena in order to play a concert. When Slipknot tried to go through they get got stuck in a knot, when Napalm Death went through, they died and when Judas Priest went through they entered a church but Opeth simply opened the door and not only did they get themselves in but they also got Therion in.

 

[BRI]

^You haven't posted a single Opeth joke.

 

[Melinda's Lover]

How about this one:

A few bands had to go through a door to get into the arena in order to play a concert. When Slipknot tried to go through they get got stuck in a knot, when Napalm Death went through, they died and when Judas Priest went through they entered a church but Opeth simply opened the door and not only did they get themselves in but they also got Therion in.

That was as funny as this:

 

[Arnold Layne]

 

[Profanity]

That picture makes me want chocolate.