Males and Females

[Omni]

Just don't spunk too early.

He probably already did when she looked in his general direction.

 

[Jimmy... Dead.]

I don't think I'm going to do anything about it because it's going to make work so awkward.

 

[JontRevolting]

Just don't spunk too early.

For some reason at first I read that as 'Just don't spank the monkey'.

 

[The Butt]

I believe the proper nomenclature follows... "Aww gee Moggie...you wanna have a shag back behind me mum's? Awright"

"And after we can go for some chips?"

 

[Onder]

My girlfriend now openly says that we should move in together. Luckily I don't have money anyway so I don't have to make the decision yet.

 

[The Butt]

My advice is don't. if you value having even a little bit of free time alone, don't do it.

 

[Matt]

The key is to move in with someone who has a different work schedule than you, like a nurse or something.

 

[King Richard]

lol the fuck are you idiots talking about? Just don't date morons. Or if you're dating a moron, don't fucking move in with them. Duh.

I should write a book.

 

[Jimmy... Dead.]

Never move in together. Get your own place, Own it, and if she wants to move in later have that discussion.

King the shit out of your place.

 

[Master_Yoda77]

I call my place Pussy Palace.

 

[Baroque]

Move in together only if she's the right fit for you. If not, remember you can always find someone else.

 

[The Ozzman]

I should write a book.

Sleeptasticles: King Richard's Foibles and Fables

 

[King Richard]

Sleeptasticles. Great word of all time.

 

[Onder]

I would probably prefer to live on my own but it's also a matter of money and shit like that.

 

[CiG]

lol the fuck are you idiots talking about? Just don't date morons. Or if you're dating a moron, don't fucking move in with them. Duh.

I should write a book.

If that's your advice, I'd probably hang your book off my toilet roll holder.

 

[King Richard]

Well there's one satisfied customer and I haven't even written the first draft yet. Damn I'm good.

 

[CiG]

Relationship advice I can stand by.

 

[The Butt]

So my best friend's boyfriend dumped her, and called her "retarded", "pathetic", and a "cunt" (and many combinations and variations of the three) simply because she set down a plastic bag on a glass table after work while he was sleeping, waking him up accidentally. So now is very upset.

Meanwhile, he lives rent-free with her while she works two jobs to support this piece of shit. I've never liked him one bit.

I've been debating messaging the fucking manbaby, telling him I will literally hitchhike to Niagara Falls to bootfuck his ass (which I have no problems doing, I have a few days off and could use a vacation in Niagara Falls LOL), but my friend implored me not to, since he would bitch at her afterwards.

I don't appreciate whiny manbaby bitches calling my best friend a cunt. Wat do, GMD, message anyways? Y/N

 

[CiG]

Would you give a fuck if your friend was a male with a moochy twat girlfriend?

 

[The Butt]

Depending on how upset they were (my friend was incredibly upset) I'd probably message anyways even if the genders were reversed (minus the insinuations of violence). :v

"Fuck off and quit treating my friend like shit" is universal.