Males and Females

[King Richard]

tl;dr

But seriously, your story did not involve cockslapping her therefore making it neither entertaining nor successful.

 

[Jimmy... Dead.]

So if you are dp'ing a girl, and you feel your brosefs boner grinding against yours (and like it, because let's face it the thin membrane separating both your dicks is barely existent) - does that make you gay?

Or is it totally possible to be "no homo"?

I don't think a MMF implies a DP situation. I feel most of it is fellatio & cunnalingus with each male focusing purely on the woman.

If you're in it, I think it's either Bi friendly or just two dudes who really just don't give a shit.

You and a friend are giving a lady a spit-roast/cheeky high five

 

[Pessimism]

Of course it's not implied.

Spitroasting... never heard that before lol, I wager Grand Belial's Key would have an epic album cover of such a thing:

Grand Belial's Key - Spitroasting the Lamb (picture of Paul and Peter double ripping Jesus' asshole while he's tied up over a bonfire; cherubs play harps in the background)

 

[damnromulans]

DP should not be physically possible, anyone who can accomodate that many dicks in one hole is gross and loose and probably flaps in the wind when they're in a nonaroused state of nature.

Jimmy - yeah STDs are terrifying plus the fantasy of doing X thing is usually better than actually doing it. my blog is a gambit? I just run my mouth about bullshit!

Devasya Chaya, good work on calling her a beached whale. You totally took the high road there, and her weight was totally a relevant factor. You're a real fucking man.

 

[Jimmy... Dead.]

Oh, I don't mean it as an insult. It was actually a complement.

When I read your blog it felt strategic, like I was trying to solve a thing or two about what you were experiencing/describing. Simplistic, but very topical bullshit.

I've read some of the external profiles on this forum and most of them read really well. Some interesting people on this board I must say.

 

[Vimana]

Devasya Chaya, good work on calling her a beached whale. You totally took the high road there, and her weight was totally a relevant factor. You're a real fucking man.

Thanks for the sarcasm. -_- I didn't say my course of action was mature. I made it clear that it was immature, actually. It still achieved her not audibly saying shit about me, so I'm fine.

 

[waif]

I always interpreted spit-roasting as similar to an eiffel tower - one guy is throat-fucking her while the other does her from behind, thus the similarity to a piece of meat roasting on a spit.

 

[Vimana]

On the topic of sex: I made up some sexual positions inspired by Starcraft. They all suck.

 

[waif]

I am now quite curious as to what these consisted of.

Also, brings to mind:
http://oglaf.com/tribute-day-2/1/

 

[zabu of nΩd]

I am now quite curious as to what these consisted of.

He's probably a rusher - if ya know what I mean

 

[Vimana]

Okay, I will give you some.

The Hydralisk: This one requires vinegar or another slightly acidic substance. You fuck in missionary position with a mouthful of vinegar, spitting it noisily all over the girl with each thrust.

The Zealot: This is not as much a sexual position as it is just a technique for fingering. You alternate hands, fingering in a brief stabbing motion like a zealot. Sound effects are optional.

I'll give the rest during a commercial. I've gotta go watch Psych.

 

[Pessimism]

I think the Hydralisk could be waaaaaaaaaay worse.

A group of men take turns ejaculating into the mouth of another man who is currently performing the missionary position with another woman. He spits each load every 2.2 seconds (as if he were launching a spine directly into her face).

The collective group of men behind him may also be known as the creep.

 

[zabu of nΩd]

 

[Vimana]

Submit this idea to a Japanese porn filmmaker NOW!

Anyway, others.

The Firebat: Fuck missionary or doggie style, (any way that allows you to have both hands free) with a can of ax and a lighter. It's self explanatory from there.

The Ultralisk: This requires two dildos. Alternate putting them inside through large swinging motions.

The High Templar: Get a tazer and a spray bottle. Spray the water over the girl to form a mist, then electrocute the water to imitate the effects of a psionic storm.

The Archon: Fuck missionary or doggie style, place hands right in front of you on the girl in regular intervals while making a "whraaaaaaag zzzzzzz" noise.

 

[Pessimism]

I imagine the Ultralisk as a large sex swing type contraption, with two massive dildo tusk blade things.

Terrifying.

 

[Krow]

Thanks for the sarcasm. -_- I didn't say my course of action was mature. I made it clear that it was immature, actually. It still achieved her not audibly saying shit about me, so I'm fine.

Next time, just punch her in the throat... as long as you dont call her a name, that's okay, right?

Had a weird moment at work last night... a girl that works up front asked me for my box cutter... I said hold on, it was in my pocket... to which she replied... "well Id reach in and get it if we werent here." She then proceeded to have this goofy smile on her face until I put down the shit I had and handed it to her.

 

[wandering_taco]

go for it bro

 

[Pessimism]

wandering taco vs zabu of n[omega symbol]d: Who is the true ambassador? Who is the king of the uncapped usernames? I propose a fist-to-cuffs gentlemen match!

 

[Pessimism]

Begin growing your curly mustachio's gentlemen, you only have several hours to prepare.

 

[General Zaroff]

Next time, just punch her in the throat... as long as you dont call her a name, that's okay, right?

Had a weird moment at work last night... a girl that works up front asked me for my box cutter... I said hold on, it was in my pocket... to which she replied... "well Id reach in and get it if we werent here." She then proceeded to have this goofy smile on her face until I put down the shit I had and handed it to her.

The way this played out in my head was hilarious.