Males and Females

I guess that explains all that black shit on his face

helloween-keeper-of-the-seven-keys-rar-37.jpg
 
Yeah it's tough when that happens man. When I was with someone several years ago I was driving home from work and thinking to myself 'Man, this relationship is getting kinda stagnant and dull. I should do something about it' and then 4 hours later she broke up with me over the phone. At first I was okay, but then when you realize that there's this void present and when you get really attached to someone and they are gone, it really hit me. I went into a really bad depression for about 2 months and it was winter which made it worse. Then I hopped back onto OKCupid and started banging bitches and I got better.
 
Well it happened. I'm a fucking mess right now. Goddamn it. I just went through an almost equally rough break-up just over a year ago for similar reasons. What the fuck. Even though I had a full week to prepare myself for this, I simply wasn't ready..

And seriously, women of UM. If a man is willing to shove his fucking nose up your butt, isn't he a keeper?!

1. She probably *ass*umes you just like it up there because you're a dirty butt noser, the equivalent of a drunk chick from the bar giving enthusiastic blow jobs.

2. Two 'serious' breakups in the last two years? Get your priorities straight, noob.

3. Sorry for your loss, you'll get over it.
 
Well it happened. I'm a fucking mess right now. Goddamn it. I just went through an almost equally rough break-up just over a year ago for similar reasons. What the fuck. Even though I had a full week to prepare myself for this, I simply wasn't ready..

And seriously, women of UM. If a man is willing to shove his fucking nose up your butt, isn't he a keeper?!

Did you buy her a ring from Jared ?
 
The trick is to switch it up, go fast, slow, clockwise, counterclockwise, up, down, left, right, in, out, hard tongue, soft tongue, wet tongue, dry tongue and make precise calculated responses to her moans and body movements. I can teach a masterclass on this subject I have perfected the art.
 
The trick is to switch it up, go fast, slow, clockwise, counterclockwise, up, down, left, right, in, out, hard tongue, soft tongue, wet tongue, dry tongue and make precise calculated responses to her moans and body movements. I can teach a masterclass on this subject I have perfected the art.

Return of the Aug confirmed.
 
Well it happened. I'm a fucking mess right now. Goddamn it. I just went through an almost equally rough break-up just over a year ago for similar reasons. What the fuck. Even though I had a full week to prepare myself for this, I simply wasn't ready..

And seriously, women of UM. If a man is willing to shove his fucking nose up your butt, isn't he a keeper?!

fuck her then man, there are plenty of other girls out there that your can burrow your nose in.
 
Nope. I introduced this chick to the world of butt play and she fell in love with it. Shoving a thumb in her butt before climax would give her the most intense orgasms. Of course the nose in the butt wasn't planned, nor wanted by me really. It was just the awkward position and intensity of the situation that led to it.

And who are you calling dirty, Carpe? :suspicious:
 
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I think I was just offended you thought being with someone for only a year and breaking up warranted anything other than a free ticket to poontown. You'll be alright.
 
Yeah I'm fine. I'm dealing with bigger problems now. Someone threw up in my backseat last night. Did my best to clean it up with what I had. When I came home and parked outside I cracked the windows to let some air in overnight. Well, the fucking Santa Clarita wildfire left a nice surprise all the way out here in the Valley and rained ash all night. Now my car stinks like putrid acid, and there's ash everywhere inside. I mean, everywhere. It was a nice touch to end this peachy week.