Males and Females

...by impaling her slowly and not yet unto death, then raping her in her agony, and finally sacrificing her to the Lord Satan.
 
Ozzman, my 2 cents is that she sounds like she's not interested. Might as well go on that second date but don't get your hopes up. I pretty much agree with everything cookiecutter and Vossyrus said.

Tonight I had a fourth date with this dude who is going to Afghanistan in 9 days. We met for beer and wings, went to a classy wine bar, and played video games at his house. We've had the "timing is no good, I just got out of a relationship and don't want that now" conversation and all that but I still feel really guilty. It's a lot of pressure to be "that girl" that he hangs out with in the days before his deployment, and he is always blowing up my ego with ridiculously sincere compliments. I'm not sure what to do - he's a really great guy but I can't be what he wants me to be.
 
Oh Tuesday is going to be a trying day. If I'm lucky and muster up the courage I might ask a girl out. We shall see.
 
If you're like me, you're not clingy, you're more paranoid that your probabilities of having sex out of this are diminishing.

I lol'd. This is one of my greatest worries LOL

First impression: she's not interested. I have no clue what's going on with your friend, but he sounds like an asshole. Seriously, who dumps all that on their friend? Do not listen to him about playing games, that is terrible advice.

My advice: continue with this second date since you've already kinda planned it. If she stalls one more time though give up. People are busy, especially nurses, but if she keeps postponing that means she doesn't want to do it. It might be nice to have a real date without others around to form a better opinion of each other.

Don't talk to your friend about women anymore. He sounds like a douche and the last thing you need is someone who will drain your confidence. Women don't want you to be play games, they want you to be nice, confident and to treat them well. Also remember that sometimes things just don't work out. It's not a judgment on you or her that she wasn't into you. It happens.

I don't think his advice was that I should play games, but it was this whole thing of 'man needing to outthink women'. I mean, I guess he's right in a sense, but I have too much other shit on my plate to even think about what to do on a second date. He picks up on shit that I totally just blow off as insignificant (ie: was thinking bowling for the second date, but he reminded me that she doesn't like feet). I think I'm just aloof when it comes to the needs of a female.

I do agree about a solo date though. I think since we've actually met it will be significantly less awkward and it will be better since I can actually be myself and not have someone looking over my shoulder.

From my experience, if I'm able to talk to a female before I go on a date with her, I'm much less awkward (ala dating website setup). Like, we message for a while on OKCupid and then we move to text messaging, etc until you finally meet on a date. It's just an extension of what has transpired except in the flesh.

Dear Ozzman,

I am kind of confused about this situation. You're saying she volunteered to give you her number but she acts weird when you text her to ask her out and she has negative things to say about you according to your friend?

It's hard to interpret a text, so whether or not there was any weird connotation is up for debate. All of her responses were terse and they were more terse than I would usually expect from someone who might be at least mildly interested. She was also with her family when I was texting her, so she probably didn't want to invest too much time into it, but I would think she would have texted me later when she was free?

Ok, why the fuck did she give you her number then? I don't get it. She could've just got in her car or whatever and went along on her merry way.

Probably to placate me and/or her friend (ie my friend's wife)

Kind of sounds like a shitty chick to me. If you have a problem with somebody, why give them your number and then on top of that act weird when they try to ask you out?

Because people are flakes. I really have a suspicion she's going to flake anyway, so I'm tempted to just take your advice and not contact her again

I don't get that. Sounds like a waste of time to me. Do you feel like you had chemistry with this person?

Not off the bat. She was pretty funny, but I never seem to have an instant connection when I first meet people anyway. I'm a bit abrasive and intimidating at first because of how I carry myself, but I tried to be better about it.

Don't let her looks cloud your judgment. Isn't there somebody out there that you can actually have chemistry with who actually digs your personality and doesn't act weird?

Yes, but she's 42 and has two kids and is already dating someone else. I dated her about 3 years ago for a while, but I fucked that shit up because I found myself playing mind games and she hated it. One of my biggest regrets is doing that to her. I even got her into metal too, so there's that.

I love you Ozzman and I only want the best for you.

I love you too, sir. We're hanging out if I'm ever in the vicinity of Phoenix.

Ozzman, my 2 cents is that she sounds like she's not interested. Might as well go on that second date but don't get your hopes up.

You're, like, the sixth female I've talked to that has said she's not interested. I'm not getting my hopes up anymore. It's kinda too early to tell anything, but yeah I guess we'll see.

Rick was telling me something about how he doesn't do blind dates with mutual friends (ie, the friend sets you up with someone they know) and now I can kinda see why.
 
Ozzman, my 2 cents is that she sounds like she's not interested. Might as well go on that second date but don't get your hopes up. I pretty much agree with everything cookiecutter and Vossyrus said.

Tonight I had a fourth date with this dude who is going to Afghanistan in 9 days. We met for beer and wings, went to a classy wine bar, and played video games at his house. We've had the "timing is no good, I just got out of a relationship and don't want that now" conversation and all that but I still feel really guilty. It's a lot of pressure to be "that girl" that he hangs out with in the days before his deployment, and he is always blowing up my ego with ridiculously sincere compliments. I'm not sure what to do - he's a really great guy but I can't be what he wants me to be.

Gee, if I were you I'd have sex with him before he goes off to risk his life like that.
 
@Ozz: You've already heard my two cents, a lot of the things mentioned in this thread I already told you. It's up to you to take whatever advice you want.

@krampus: I'm going to preface my comments with a warning that you may be offended (but it's for your own good).

What the fuck are you doing? I don't understand why you are putting yourself in situations like this already. I mean, you dumped MP, who you had been dating for years and almost immediately turned around and started nailing some other dude. While I understand distracting yourself from the pain and not having to deal with your recent breakup is hard to do, that wasn't the best thing in the world to do to resolve that pain. First off, it's not as if you owe anything to MP, because you kinda don't. But seeing as though you two were in a relationship for so long, it's almost as if you do owe it to him and yourself not jump into the dating mix already. After a few months? Ok sure. After a few days? Uh, wtf? Not only that, but thing that would disturb me most if I were MP and found out is the fact that you apparently lost your libido for a while when you were with him, but yet the second you dump him you turn around and start fucking someone else. ???

I think you need to just stop what you're doing, focus on getting your next career in line and then worry about this type of shit later. Maybe you're confused, depressed, don't give a fuck, I don't know. But what I do know is what you're doing isn't helping (obviously).

edit: Also, the only reason that guy is interested in spending his time with you is so he can get a sympathy fuck before he leaves. But it's up to you if you want to (or already have) given it to him.
 
Impressive rant

edit: Also, the only reason that guy is interested in spending his time with you is so he can get a sympathy fuck before he leaves. But it's up to you if you want to (or already have) given it to him.

Damn, Judge Richard is in da house.

Anyway, I agree with your edit. He also is probably hoping to luck into a care-package-sender as well. And by care package I mean naked pics, Everclear in mouthwash bottles, and socks.
 
People deal with break ups in different ways. Who's to say that rebound sex is any worse than any other method? As long as there is no deception involved (a good rule for every sexual relationship) I don't see a problem. Not saying it's what I'd do, but I don't think it's wrong.
 
Well, she might not have been thinking straight at the time. You could always ask her straight up whether or not she's interested in you. I have had girls ask me that when I've gotten myself into some stupid situations and I sort of appreciated it because I am so bad at straight up rejecting somebody. At least in these cases they're sort of making the inference by themselves. So you could get a straight answer that way, but then if she is interested in you it might make her think you're insecure or whatever. So basically dating is still a minefield and there's no good solution.

I thought about this myself, but someone told me that isn't a good idea, but I need to figure this shit out for myself. I was told if she flakes when trying to schedule a second date, she's probably not interested and I should just move on.

I agree with you on dating though. It's a fucking crapshoot most of the time.



Well, personally I would be pretty turned off by any amount of perceived flakiness. I forget where you live, but I live in a fucking huge metropolis, so I guess I can afford to be kind of picky about certain stuff, because there are like endless fucking chicks over here. Maybe you don't have that luxury. So take my words with a grain of salt I guess.

I live in Ohio, so there's not much to go around here. If there are hot women, they are either taken, have way too much baggage or they are single parents with multiple children. You have ass everywhere because you have party schools near you.