King Richard
Hello there
You should just stop taking those comments seriously and embrace them. I mean shit, half of the fuckers on this board can barely talk to a bitch let alone fuck her (legal or not).
Males and Females
- Thread starter damnromulans
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Zephyrus
Tyrants and Slaves
Which is why it would be best to try to be best friends at this point and not let the past hold you back. Having someone of the opposite sex as a best friend is invaluable. My first girlfriend and I are just such friends now.
Episteme
Member
Cythraul-
Of course not all girls are like that. If every girl was the same, no one would even be having this discussion because the same thing would work on everyone. I'm just saying that over the course of my 19 years of being a female in this world, that's an observation I made that applies to MOST of the girls I've met.
And you're totally right, it probably would be better for girls to just shut a guy down...but that's not how most of them work...a lot of girls don't have the balls to do that, because as much as it sucks for you, it sucks for us too! People generally don't like inflicting heartache on others. And yes, most girls are totally wish washy and indecisive, and it probably is annoying, so as much you may wish for a girl to be upfront and blunt, chances are it's not gonna happen. They don't think logically and sensibly like guys do...they act on emotion, not rationality.
Lastly, any guy can be confident. I don't care if you're the shyest guy in the world. There is a massive difference between being confident and being cocky. Confidence in my opinion, is being content with who you are and always sticking to what you believe in....neither of those things necessarily involve being loud or outgoing. It's sexy for a guy to feel good about himself- when they are self conscience and let people walk all over them- not sexy!! That's all I'm getting at. Introverted people can still exude a sense of confidence even while maintaining a humble disposition...it truly comes from the manner in which you see and present yourself.
Again, you may not agree and that's totally cool, just throwing stuff out there from a girl's perspective.
But now I have question for all you guys on here--
Do you have to look metal as fuck for a metal guy to be into you?? I don't have crazy hair or facial piercings, I guess I look...idk, kinda natural I suppose...but every time I'm at a show, metal guys are ALWAYS with the hardcore metal chicks. It's just shitty, metal is my life but it's like metal guys don't see that because I don't have black hair and tattoos everywhere. I know there must be some guys out there who aren't necessarily into just that, but are girls like that preferable??
Of course not all girls are like that. If every girl was the same, no one would even be having this discussion because the same thing would work on everyone. I'm just saying that over the course of my 19 years of being a female in this world, that's an observation I made that applies to MOST of the girls I've met.
And you're totally right, it probably would be better for girls to just shut a guy down...but that's not how most of them work...a lot of girls don't have the balls to do that, because as much as it sucks for you, it sucks for us too! People generally don't like inflicting heartache on others. And yes, most girls are totally wish washy and indecisive, and it probably is annoying, so as much you may wish for a girl to be upfront and blunt, chances are it's not gonna happen. They don't think logically and sensibly like guys do...they act on emotion, not rationality.
Lastly, any guy can be confident. I don't care if you're the shyest guy in the world. There is a massive difference between being confident and being cocky. Confidence in my opinion, is being content with who you are and always sticking to what you believe in....neither of those things necessarily involve being loud or outgoing. It's sexy for a guy to feel good about himself- when they are self conscience and let people walk all over them- not sexy!! That's all I'm getting at. Introverted people can still exude a sense of confidence even while maintaining a humble disposition...it truly comes from the manner in which you see and present yourself.
Again, you may not agree and that's totally cool, just throwing stuff out there from a girl's perspective.
But now I have question for all you guys on here--
Do you have to look metal as fuck for a metal guy to be into you?? I don't have crazy hair or facial piercings, I guess I look...idk, kinda natural I suppose...but every time I'm at a show, metal guys are ALWAYS with the hardcore metal chicks. It's just shitty, metal is my life but it's like metal guys don't see that because I don't have black hair and tattoos everywhere. I know there must be some guys out there who aren't necessarily into just that, but are girls like that preferable??
Dak
mentat
Episteme
Member
I don't really go for metal chicks, all the girls I've dated and been with are usually not into metal AT ALL and look pretty normal. They aren't even hipsters or alternative when it comes to dressing. Metal chicks aren't really preferable for me, I've never been into the look anyway.
Then again... I don't look metal at all. I don't have long hair, I don't wear metal shirts anymore and I don't have tattoos or piercings. I have no desire to want to look "metal". Taste in music is enough.
I have the same problem as well. I've had girls and some close friends tell me that. I also got told after an interview that I was overbearing, almost to the point of arrogance. I actually laughed loudly at the HR lady. There was this other girl in there who was fucking annoying as all shit because she kept on talking and never shut up. I felt like throwing a brick at her face. Those feelings probably seeped out while I was talking when I was finally allowed to say something.
Then again... I don't look metal at all. I don't have long hair, I don't wear metal shirts anymore and I don't have tattoos or piercings. I have no desire to want to look "metal". Taste in music is enough.
I have the same problem as well. I've had girls and some close friends tell me that. I also got told after an interview that I was overbearing, almost to the point of arrogance. I actually laughed loudly at the HR lady. There was this other girl in there who was fucking annoying as all shit because she kept on talking and never shut up. I felt like throwing a brick at her face. Those feelings probably seeped out while I was talking when I was finally allowed to say something.
Stereo
DISCO BITS!
Pfft.
Some guys just aren't wired that way and telling them to exude confidence yet steer clear of cocky just tends to confuse more than help. Being totally content with who you are doesn't guarantee you won't get your knickers in a bunch when you meet someone you really like. Bottom line is that no matter what kind of dude you are, it's never a good idea to try acting like someone you're not. Girls pick up on that shit from a mile away and suddenly they stop taking you seriously (then again that applies to most other people too). Different people like different things - one person is simply never going to please everyone and anyone. If it doesn't work out with that certain someone you've had your eye on, then like ajhart said: big fucking deal. Chances are someone else will like you far better just for being you.
Personally I prefer initial awkwardness to try-hard "confidence". Makes me feel like what's going on actually matters to the other person and that they're being genuine about it. Besides, if the chemistry's there, that awkwardness will more often than not melt away as you get to know each other and become more comfortable in each other's company.
Zephyrus
Tyrants and Slaves
Metal is not a prerequisite for me, but it helps. The last two girls I've been with are into Metal and the current one has the look (wears black, has dark hair with red highlights, fair skin, wears lots of jewelry and mjolnirs) and that look is particularly attractive to me.
As far as their attraction to me, my long blonde hair has been a turn-on, but that's not necessarily because it's "metal." My physique has probably more to do with their attraction. I lift weights and am very fit but I'm not broly at all.
"Bottom line is that no matter what kind of dude you are, it's never a good idea to try acting like someone you're not."
That's exactly my point...be happy with who you are!! That to me, is confidence.
And you're right, sometimes it is hard to be confident without appearing to try too hard...takes practice I guess...but what I'm trying to get across with the initial confidence suggestion is that it really does help put a girl at ease and make her more willing to step out of her comfort zone and accept that date! But again, every girl is different, so just use your judgment.
That's exactly my point...be happy with who you are!! That to me, is confidence.
And you're right, sometimes it is hard to be confident without appearing to try too hard...takes practice I guess...but what I'm trying to get across with the initial confidence suggestion is that it really does help put a girl at ease and make her more willing to step out of her comfort zone and accept that date! But again, every girl is different, so just use your judgment.
Krigloch the Furious
Pants full of poo
I've never gone up and talked to a random girl. Seriously never. Not me at all. And I never will.
Der Morgenstern
Trailer Park Bacchus
The vast majority of those 'metal as fuck' guys who are targeting go after the 'metal as fuck' girls because those types of vaginas are usually easier to gain access to. Simple.
Der Morgenstern
Trailer Park Bacchus
You give up pretty easily. There are plenty of brohims with long hair at these shows that want nothing more than a normal girl who is into some of the same bands, but doesn't particularly care for the overall personal aesthetic.
TBH, you just need some of these guys to grow a set of balls. Or do it yourself.
I've been to a fair number of shows at Mac Hall, The Distillery, etc. Many of these 'metal dudes' are either in their late teens or early 20s and incredibly immature still, or their burly as fuck guys in their late 20s onwards. But there are a good portion of regular dudes who love the music, but don't feel it necessary to tattoo themselves up and go for the ultra metal-as-fuck look. Mainly because these types of guys actually hold decent jobs or have some career aspirations.
I feel like a dating advice columnist.
Haha I like your advice Der!! I won't give up quite yet...it's frustrating as fuck sometimes but I don't really mind flying solo. I met my last boyfriend at a Bodom show, and I did approach him first...I guess I'll have to stick with that method.
And yeah, every time there's an all ages metal show at Mac Hall, it's all like fucking 14 year olds. Or old guys. Haha I need to hit up the Distillery more often
And yeah, every time there's an all ages metal show at Mac Hall, it's all like fucking 14 year olds. Or old guys. Haha I need to hit up the Distillery more often
unknown
fuck ftagn
SentinelSlain
Suck my joined date.
- Nov 21, 2007
- 10,015
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I've dated a metal chick and I listen to a lot of metal, but I have short blond hair, I wear shoes, shirts, sweaters etc. Anyway, are you really, really into long haired, viking re-enactment type dudes or are you very much in need of someone who shares your love of music? You can pick both though.
Also, if it makes you feel more secure, this guy
Haha! Well, I'm not quite that girly...but I guess it makes me feel a little better
And I am so insanely attracted to straight up metal looking guys...long hair is probably my biggest turn on....I would have to pick both! Never realized it was so hard to find a single guy like that haha
Stereo
DISCO BITS!
Haha I fucking wish!!! When I backpacked through there, I saw more hot long haired guys than I ever have in my entire life.
Stereo
DISCO BITS!
Yeah. Too bad quite a few of them are douchey, militant haters of all things "not metal" and live by the tenet "even the shittiest heavy metal is the best shit in the world!!1" (hevi on paskimmillaankin parasta). Not to generalize however since many guys are cool as & super easy to get along with. Aside from that, yep, long-haired totty all over the place I suppose.
Did you stay anywhere over here or did you just pass through?
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