Males and Females

[monoxide_child]

actually scheduled sleeping with her for thursday, (today) but this morning she had an episode of breaking down and crying in the middle of the street (luckily it was a spot where there's little traffic and also a spot where cars could have easily swerved around her) and our sex was rescheduled for tomorrow

i had sex with her all day friday, hung out with her saturday morning, before she went to work, and talked to her on the phone after her work and i'll probably talk to her on the phone later today and see her tomorrow

If I recall correctly.

thank you

But I'm sure you have enough experience to know that if this woman is so psychologically unstable to make sure this is for pure sexual gratification with no attachment liabilities.

thank you

The key is for both people to have things in their lives that they can value more or at least equally as the relationship. For example, an academic career or a hobby, or family responsibilities. If all those things become secondary to the relationship, that's a problem.

thank you

How old are you?

28

It's a serious question.

and the woman i'm talking about is 38

 

[Matt]

I'm beginning to hate that every relationship that I end up in becomes serious almost right away...when the one time I had a possible girl who just wanted things casual I just couldn't do it and threw away someone who I've been more compatible intellectually, sexually, emotionally, etc. with than anyone else ever...

The fuck is my goddamn problem?

I'm happy with my current relationship no doubt, really do care for her and all, but I just feel like I'm always in this rush to find myself tied down to something and that is starting to put a strain on me.

Yeah, it sucks when it becomes too serious too fast. That happened to me in my current one. Had a lot of fun the first 4 or 5 months, then things shifted, and it's been rockier since then. Not that I'm opposed to serious relationships, but when it was more casual life was easier.

 

[damnromulans]

How do you tell when it goes from casual to serious? Isn't serious just what happens when you've been casual for a while and decide to bite the bullet and stick a title on it and meet each other's family and shit?

PP and I are still in the "look at pictures of kittens hugging and giggle" stage. I don't think we have sex as frequently as we did at first now.

 

[SentinelSlain]

I'm feeling really fucking insecure. I hope my date on Wodensday goes well. She's a pretty blonde girl. :O How did that happen? inb4 I get accused of complaining, I'm not, I'm just so insecure.

 

[damnromulans]

Yes

 

[SentinelSlain]

I don't care if they're bosniak, jewish, catholic (my date is anyway) or whatever kramps. Don't hate.

 

[Cythraul]

Yesterday I broke things off with the girl I've been dating. We went on a day trip to a couple of towns in northern AZ and got into a disagreement shortly before we left to go back home, and I told her that we should go our separate ways and that there was no way this thing would work out. We spoke maybe 5 words total on the hour and a half drive home and when she dropped me off she just sat there staring at me, waiting for me to say something. But I just got out of the car and went inside. Very awkward, and I feel so fucking weird today. We've been going back and forth for 3 months now but this feels like the end of it, because I simply don't feel like she's worthy of my affections anymore. It's weird...like there's all this chemistry but she is just so fucking wrong for me.

edit: Aaaannnd she just facebook messaged me. Tonight is going to be a long night. I'll be getting my inebriation started early.

 

[Zephyrus]

Life is short, man. If things don't work out after three months, it's for the best to break things off and move on.

And you'll be off to Seattle in August for grad school, nay? Don't think you'd have had a future with her in any case. My experience exactly.

 

[Cythraul]

Life is short, man. If things don't work out after three months, it's for the best to break things off and move on.

And you'll be off to Seattle in August for grad school, nay? Don't think you'd have had a future with her in any case. My experience exactly.

You're probably right about all of that (one correction: I'm moving in September), but romance has never been a rational enterprise for me. Animal attraction always seems to rule over my better judgment, but I am trying hard right now to be firm about things and just move on.

 

[Zephyrus]

Don't think of it as irrational. A biological impulse to reproduce. If we didn't have that, what meaning would we have besides posterity? But yes, calculation is everything. I'd loved to have been with my girlfriend till I will have had to go West in August but when that day of separation is fixed the rest of the relationship is moribund, and defeats the whole purpose of meaningful dating. Such is the life of us itinerant academics, nay?

 

[Cythraul]

Don't think of it as irrational. A biological impulse to reproduce. If we didn't have that, what meaning would we have besides posterity?

Hmmm, I think I agree with that. But sometimes the more rational thing is to think beyond that. That is something I have trouble with; it's just not in my nature at all. I'm very reckless when it comes to romantic stuff.

But yes, calculation is everything. I'd loved to have been with my girlfriend till I will have had to go West in August but when that day of separation is fixed the rest of the relationship is moribund, and defeats the whole purpose of meaningful dating.

The fact that I'm moving has definitely had a big impact on things between us. I wouldn't say our time together has been meaningless, though. I mean, we have these fucking amazing nights together. That at least has some intrinsic value for me.

Such is the life of us itinerant academics, nay?

That's something that's been worrying me a lot. After I'm done with my Ph.D. there's no telling where I'll have to go, so any relationship I start in Seattle is probably going to have some level of insecurity to it due to that fact. I hate thinking about what I'm sacrificing by taking this path. But I ultimately don't want to do anything else, sooo...

 

[Zephyrus]

Hmmm, I think I agree with that. But sometimes the more rational thing is to think beyond that. That is something I have trouble with; it's just not in my nature at all. I'm very reckless when it comes to romantic stuff.

When you think beyond that, you are attempting to define what it means to be human beyond what science can tell us for certain. The question is to determine what is natural to man, whether abstracting ourselves from the rest of the animal kingdom is ultimately a good thing.

The fact that I'm moving has definitely had a big impact on things between us. I wouldn't say our time together has been meaningless, though. I mean, we have these fucking amazing nights together. That at least has some intrinsic value for me.

My relationship with my ex to the letter.

That's something that's been worrying me a lot. After I'm done with my Ph.D. there's no telling where I'll have to go, so any relationship I start in Seattle is probably going to have some level of insecurity to it due to that fact. I hate thinking about what I'm sacrificing by taking this path. But I ultimately don't want to do anything else, sooo...

Define your life in terms of what you want to do with yourself, or in terms of with someone else. You and I both know it's better to choose the former. If I find someone at Iowa, great. If not, then I saved myself a ton of bullshit.

 

[King Richard]

haha man

Every time I read one of your posts Cyth in this thread this song pops up in my head:



<3 you breh

 

[damnromulans]

Fucking hell man I JUST rediscovered that Mary J. Blige album, YOU READ MY MIND.

Edit: @Cythraul I guess you just weren't that into her. That's ok! You had fun together. I'm of the opinion that romance and shit can/should/does happen with total spontaneity at the least expected times and you shouldn't have to try hard to make it happen.

 

[Der Morgenstern]

So the woman and I have decided to elope. Going to Scotland in June. Isle of Skye indeed.

 

[unknown]

congratulations! sounds rather epic

 

[Cythraul]

*sigh*

The last couple of days have been so strange. The chick and I exchanged a few last words today, and it was good because I felt like she was acting like I was just nothing but a disrespectful asshole, so some stuff needed to be said. Her responses are always so weird and mixed. One of the last things she said is that she can't stop thinking about, erm, doing the deed with me. And then she said that I made her see things differently and question some of her beliefs. It seems like I've gotten myself into her head more than I realized. But yeah, she's strange; she adamantly agrees that the decision to break things off is the right one, and then she'll randomly say something about how much she wants to be with me. I guess we're in lame nostalgic-sad mode right now.

I had drinks with a close friend last night and talked for hours. And talking to her made me feel a lot better about the decision I've made. I have some great friends.

edit: Holy crap...she just texted me asking to hang out tonight for "one last time." That seems like such a bad idea, though it would be hard to turn down. What the fuck...

*cue that "No More Drama" song*

 

[damnromulans]

How'd it go?

 

[damnromulans]

I dunno, truly amazing sex is not something to be taken lightly.

 

[SentinelSlain]

I could do with some of that right now. I'm not gonna be seeing the girl till monday at the earliest now. Fuck.