Males and Females

[Master_Yoda77]

I'd be pretty content with my girlfriend if all she wanted to do was sit around and watch Seinfeld and Trailer Park Boys with me, and cook me food.

Oh and holy shit, my 5,000 post.

 

[Vimana]

Ozzman, one thing about any real relationship is that is takes work. Relationships are like a job, in a sense. You both have to work at it for it to stay valid and interesting. Now, having said that, every relationship is also different and relative to those two people. If you know what your lady likes and is into, then you should make an effort to do those things with frequency. She should be prepared to do the same for you.

Please prove me wrong, because I see that sentence all the time and to me it seems like something people say because they don't have a person that getting along with and being interested in is natural and effortless. It sounds like they're trying to project some kind of objectively correct way to go about a relationship to deny that they don't have what they really want. This view is one of my main sources of cynicism with relationships.

 

[arg]

I'm 28 and she's 30. Her rationale is that she wants to remember doing shit in her life

sit buttnaked on her face, she's sure to remember that.

 

[Dak]

Im not going to say a serious relationship is easy street, but if you have to look at it as work there is a problem.

 

[zabu of nΩd]

I'll cut you some slack since you're you, but this is setting the bar absurdly low. Of COURSE a relationship should be "interesting" in order to "work" - I seriously, seriously pity people who don't think that should be a requirement.

Don't be so sure you speak for everyone. Personally what i want out of life right now can be expressed in very simple terms: pleasure, companionship, exercise, meaningful work, and a social life that introduces me to new perspectives. There's so much bullshit most people do for "fun" (getaway vacations, sightseeing, movies, clubbing, board games, various hobbies / group activities, etc.) that to me is a waste of time and money, and the idea that someone would look back on their life and consider all of that meaningful as opposed to sitting around and watching TV is rather naive.

The most important thing to me in life is helping to advance our society, and any pursuit of invididual gain beyond basic necessities (and i include comfort/pleasure in that) is the business of people who don't care about the future of the world. I believe there are plenty of "career minded" people who think similarly, so i don't consider myself to be way out in left field here.

 

[The Butt]

I'd be pretty content with my girlfriend if all she wanted to do was sit around and watch Seinfeld and Trailer Park Boys with me, and cook me food.

Oh and holy shit, my 5,000 post.

You and me both, man.

My last girlfriend didn't even know what Trailer Park Boys was. When I explained it, she said it sounded dumb. I should've dumped her then and there.

 

[Akirahito]

Please prove me wrong, because I see that sentence all the time and to me it seems like something people say because they don't have a person that getting along with and being interested in is natural and effortless. It sounds like they're trying to project some kind of objectively correct way to go about a relationship to deny that they don't have what they really want. This view is one of my main sources of cynicism with relationships.

Well, I'm sure you would know since your serious relationship is working out well for you...what with living with your mom and arguing about laundry and all.

 

[Vimana]

I'll take that as "your views are too limited to cling to such cynicism."

I'm not going to say a serious relationship is easy street, but if you have to look at it as work there is a problem.

Can you elaborate, please?

 

[PhlegethonVeins]

I'll take that as "your views are too limited to cling to such cynicism."

I would say anyone is entitled to cling to cynicism on any matter lack of experience aside. I would also say that your cynicism is tied to almost fairy taleish, unrealistic expectations of what the world has to offer.

 

[Vimana]

I consider that possibility. The relationships I've observed that have created my impression of a typical relationship have left me thinking that people generally sacrifice things they really want in order to not be alone. All I'd really like to get out of a partner is someone who I enjoy interacting with and someone who enjoys interacting with me. Someone who I can trust, and do not need to put myself in emotionally unfavorable positions in order to sustain their happiness, and someone who does not have to do the same for me.

 

[Akirahito]

I'll take that as "your views are too limited to cling to such cynicism."



Can you elaborate, please?

My whole point is that relationships are a give and take. For instance, my husband might come home from work one night and say, "Oh we're listening to Renaissance Folk music while you play the penny whistle and get wasted on wine? Cool." Then the next night, I come home and say, "Oh, we're watching Ren & Stimpy for the next three hours? Cool."

 

[Vimana]

I guess I see how that works. And if it's the most emotionally satisfying choice, I can see why people do it. The idea doesn't seem favorable to me now, but I'm not of the age people usually make those kinds of decisions.

 

[Saparmurat_Niyazov]

When you're with someone for many years, you really learn how tolerant you can be. It takes a certain amount of "work" to get to that point.

 

[zabu of nΩd]

So would you say being more tolerant is something most people should strive for, or rather that it's not worth the bullshit / lack of freedom for many?

 

[Jimmy... Dead.]

Don't be so sure you speak for everyone. Personally what i want out of life right now can be expressed in very simple terms: pleasure, companionship, exercise, meaningful work, and a social life that introduces me to new perspectives. There's so much bullshit most people do for "fun" (getaway vacations, sightseeing, movies, clubbing, board games, various hobbies / group activities, etc.) that to me is a waste of time and money, and the idea that someone would look back on their life and consider all of that meaningful as opposed to sitting around and watching TV is rather naive.

The most important thing to me in life is helping to advance our society, and any pursuit of invididual gain beyond basic necessities (and i include comfort/pleasure in that) is the business of people who don't care about the future of the world. I believe there are plenty of "career minded" people who think similarly, so i don't consider myself to be way out in left field here.

What I get from this is - young, optimistic, idealist. Just an observation.

 

[Satanstoenail]

When you're with someone for many years, you really learn how tolerant you can be. It takes a certain amount of "work" to get to that point.

So would you say being more tolerant is something most people should strive for, or rather that it's not worth the bullshit / lack of freedom for many?

I was so tolerant with my ex that I ended up tolerating what most people wouldn't for a long time. Tolerance can pretty much get fucked.

 

[The Butt]

Tolerance can get fucked indeed.

 

[Dak]

Can you elaborate, please?

There will be differences and disagreements, but if you constantly or often have to assess why you are with someone, doesn't sound like it's meant to/should be.

If the question is "Why am I with this person?" well into the relationship, then I don't see a happy future.

 

[Jimmy... Dead.]

Can you guys be any more vague?

 

[Satanstoenail]

Can you guys be any more vague?

What we're trying to say is that no one here has really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like, so relationships can be hard sometimes.