Zephyrus
Tyrants and Slaves
I reassure myself when I realize that there's only been one girl I made out with whom I didn't subsequently have sex with.
Males and Females
- Thread starter damnromulans
- Start date
I reassure myself when I realize that there's only been one girl I made out with whom I didn't subsequently have sex with.
I don't think that's such a bad thing. Makes the dating market bigger for singles and foreveralones, and happily married couples enjoy their status and don't care what others do because they're happy.
SentinelSlain
Suck my joined date.
- Nov 21, 2007
- 10,015
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Dak
mentat
Oh yeah, PP is like twice your size. I'd say that counts.
Well there is marriage and then there is the government contract. I don't consider those the same thing, and government should have no involvement in marriage anyway. But still, marriage is certainly less "serious" now than in past times in this country. I doubt things are much different now than they have been over the entire scope of history/earth. It's definitely a sign of societal decline imo, regardless of where it has happened. I'm big on contract adherence. Without contract adherence civilization falls. Marriage is such a contract.
Zephyrus
Tyrants and Slaves
I favor Aristotle's argument that the marriage contract is a source of economic stability, because people, like money, are only useful when we have faith in them.
Dak
mentat
Of course. Contracts in general are the underpinning of all human action beyond individual efforts. Whether verbal or written, when someone breaks a contract/agreement, they become untrustworthy. When this happens en masse, the ability for people to interact and cooperate becomes several hampered.
crimsonfloyd
Active Member
OK folk, I need some gameplan advice for my next date with the girl I'm seeing. She is a very nice and sweet girl who so far I am seeing a lot of good qualities in but she is very shy. Our first date was at a sort of snobby breakfast place in Hollywood and I felt like she was overly conscious of the other patrons, waiter etc, basically the fact that other people knew that we were on a date. The second time we met up was on Halloween in West Hollywood. It's the biggest Halloween parade in the US, so as you could imagine it was a madhouse.
So generally we've had a good time; conversation is a bit up and down, we'll have a good conversation and then a stretch of awkward pauses. She's definitely showing interest- she contacted me on Halloween and texts me/ comments on my FB etc. I would like to spend some time with her in a more intimate, private setting for two reasons. 1) I feel conversation will flow better and 2) I feel like she'll let me make out with her if we're alone but not if we're at a bar or some other overly exposed place.
So, with all that in mind, what should I invite her to do for our next date? The easiest thing to do would just be to invite her over to my place, but I'm worried that could be too easily interpreted as me just looking to get laid. If I offer to cook her diner does that make it seem less creepy? Another possibility would a picnic, which avoids the whole "we're ten yards from his bed" factor.
So any suggestions? Also, any tips on getting shy girls to open up (other than the obvious answer of alcohol)?
So generally we've had a good time; conversation is a bit up and down, we'll have a good conversation and then a stretch of awkward pauses. She's definitely showing interest- she contacted me on Halloween and texts me/ comments on my FB etc. I would like to spend some time with her in a more intimate, private setting for two reasons. 1) I feel conversation will flow better and 2) I feel like she'll let me make out with her if we're alone but not if we're at a bar or some other overly exposed place.
So, with all that in mind, what should I invite her to do for our next date? The easiest thing to do would just be to invite her over to my place, but I'm worried that could be too easily interpreted as me just looking to get laid. If I offer to cook her diner does that make it seem less creepy? Another possibility would a picnic, which avoids the whole "we're ten yards from his bed" factor.
So any suggestions? Also, any tips on getting shy girls to open up (other than the obvious answer of alcohol)?
Zephyrus
Tyrants and Slaves
How about taking her out to dinner at a nice restaurant, and if things go well, inviting her back to your place to watch a movie.
crimsonfloyd
Active Member
Yeah I basically agree with this dude. I was with my ex for five years and am so happy we didn't get married during the first 2 years when things were all roses. I think you've got to be with someone long enough to see them during a really good time in life and a really bad time in life. Basically learn to understand how they react to a lot of different situations. I mean, you'll never know for sure, but I think that at least 3-4 years means you're much more likely to have a healthy marriage with a person you can actually spend your life with.
I'd be interested to see if there's ever been a study of "time spent together and rate of divorce."
crimsonfloyd
Active Member
See I feel that invite back to my place to watch a movie can easily interpreted as "wanna fuck?" especially if it wasn't part of our plans from the start.
Zephyrus
Tyrants and Slaves
She's not the one calling the shots, here, and if you won't be, either, then she will lose confidence in you quickly. If you're not getting some degree of intimacy after a third date, you're in trouble. Don't interpret her shyness as unwillingness. It simply means she wishes you to be more assertive.
crimsonfloyd
Active Member
Yeah, point taken. I agree there needs to be a greater degree of intamacy on this date and have already decided I'm going for it one way or another, but I'm just trying to create a the setting that is most conducive to things working in my favor/ her being comfortable.
The other option is going to a low key bar. Alcohol might help both of us.
Zephyrus
Tyrants and Slaves
No, make it a nice restaurant and a romantic dinner. I know it sounds antiquated, but that's what romanticism is by definition. I did that on a first date last year (coupled with going to the cinema) and it got maximum results.
crimsonfloyd
Active Member
Yeah, I've been pretty classy so far and she's responding to that well, so I should stay with what's working. There's a nice restaurant about three blocks from my house; close proximity seem like an advantage.
Do you think there's any intrinsic advantage to inviting her over after the diner vs. having it as part of the original invite?
Do you think there's any intrinsic advantage to inviting her over after the diner vs. having it as part of the original invite?
King Richard
Hello there
What? Fuck that noise.
You have two options imo.
1) If you want to be really romantic and save some cash, cook her a meal at your place and have plenty of wine on hand. Rent a movie that you'd both enjoy and just spend the evening in a comfortable setting getting to know each other.
or
2) Go to a casual cocktail bar that serves food and just hang out a while. If it's going good ask her back to your place to hang out some more and watch a movie.
Posh restaurants always make people a little bit more edgy. Comfortable casual settings are how shit gets real naa mean?
You have two options imo.
1) If you want to be really romantic and save some cash, cook her a meal at your place and have plenty of wine on hand. Rent a movie that you'd both enjoy and just spend the evening in a comfortable setting getting to know each other.
or
2) Go to a casual cocktail bar that serves food and just hang out a while. If it's going good ask her back to your place to hang out some more and watch a movie.
Posh restaurants always make people a little bit more edgy. Comfortable casual settings are how shit gets real naa mean?
1 is a good call. Makes it very easy to impulsively move into fucking. I used that one to seal the deal with my last girlfriend. She held out till about halfway through The Princess Bride.
Cooking Demonstrates Value, makes it easier to Engage Physically and Nurtures Dependence because she's relying on you for food.
Cooking Demonstrates Value, makes it easier to Engage Physically and Nurtures Dependence because she's relying on you for food.
unknown
fuck ftagn
crimsonfloyd
Active Member
@King: yeah that's my issue with the restaurant. She already seems pretty sensitive to her environment and possibly to what other people are thinking, which isn't conducive to her opening up. I do like 1 a lot, I'm open to 2 if she feels like we should go out somewhere.
@ Waif: Yeah that's what I'm thinking as well. It's something I'm good at, it takes more time and effort than a restaurant (which shows you care/ are willing to put in the effort). And this girl definitely wants to be nurtured (which is great because I have the most insatiable nurturing drive imaginable), so that level of time/ effort could work well.
@ Unknown, I do like the idea of the Varnish as a date spot, but there are several practical issues. It's far from both of us and if we're drinking its gonna mean taking the subway or something.
@ Waif: Yeah that's what I'm thinking as well. It's something I'm good at, it takes more time and effort than a restaurant (which shows you care/ are willing to put in the effort). And this girl definitely wants to be nurtured (which is great because I have the most insatiable nurturing drive imaginable), so that level of time/ effort could work well.
@ Unknown, I do like the idea of the Varnish as a date spot, but there are several practical issues. It's far from both of us and if we're drinking its gonna mean taking the subway or something.
The Ozzman
Melted by feels
I'd be interested to see if there's ever been a study of "time spent together and rate of divorce."
My guess is it's inversely proportional (short time = high divorce rate)
I would say opt for inconspicuous "I know this great little place" dinner, cafe or bar-restaurant, read the vibes, and if you're having a good time suggest going somewhere quieter. Even if you know you want to fling off your pants and let him ravage you, the "want to come to my place?" invitation is Kind of a Big Deal. I am pretty sure I went on 3-4 dates with PP before he invited me over to watch Beavis and Butthead and shoved his fingers in my butt. Any sooner and I would have been like "(insert any plausible excuse to avoid going to his house)."
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