Males and Females

[Vimana]

I realized that if I'm not careful, I will fall for this friend of mine who has a boyfriend. She's got all of the traits I like in myself, and I never want conversations with her to end and I think about her a lot. It gets to the point where I almost wish there was no chance I could have any luck with anyone else because then it could mean I'd forget about her.

Everyone else I've had feelings for was for something vapid and fleeting, be it similar problems, or similar opinions, but this girl is different. Every other girl I looked at I never wanted to look further than the here and now because I knew that after that it was probably blank; I'd get tired of them. But what scares me about this girl is I never get tired of hearing her thoughts. It's been a couple years and I still want to hear more of them. I look into the future, and whether or not we stay friends or become more, I just can't imagine getting tired of her. And I'm the kind of person who can find faults in everything.

It's the fact that I don't jump to specific traits to describe what I like about her that mesmerizes me. It's just simply her being her. Everything about her makes me happy. I never want her to suffer and I don't feel like I've ever connected with anyone like I've connected with her. She has problems, but I don't care. I don't care how painful the process of helping her would be if I were totally invested in her emotionally. I never not cared about that. I always hid myself from being affected by problems of people I care about, but for her I just had the compulsion to jump in and give it my all to help her.

What does the UM hivemind think I should do?

 

[Jimmy... Dead.]

Tell her the truth and respect the fact that she has a boyfriend.

 

[Vimana]

I think there's no point in telling her any of that because I'm sure she already knows all of it. I guess what I'm really wondering is if the way I described things sound like they are actually the way they are, or if they sound like something I've convinced myself of in a kind of heat-of-the-moment thing.

 

[Jimmy... Dead.]

I still say tell her how you feel and what you want. If you want it to be a reality dude, ya gotta give it a shot.

 

[Satanstoenail]

Remember when we were only supposed to talk about metal?

It's 2012, brah, get with the times. Goop swabbing and pre-cum is where it's at.

 

[SentinelSlain]

Urgh. Women are god's punishment to men.

 

[damnromulans]

Ahhhhhhhh. Nothing like the old "Oh I conveniently forgot to mention I have a boyfriend!"

 

[Zephyrus]

I think there's no point in telling her any of that because I'm sure she already knows all of it. I guess what I'm really wondering is if the way I described things sound like they are actually the way they are, or if they sound like something I've convinced myself of in a kind of heat-of-the-moment thing.

Think of her feelings about you. If they were similar, she wouldn't be with that boyfriend and with you instead. She sees you as an ideal Platonic friend and you should do as well. Deep, lasting friendships with those of the opposite sex are invaluable. Don't risk ruining a good thing.

And I know it's hard, but cut out the "she's the only one in the world" attitude. That and don't have these selfish expectation that the only woman you could ever be with is a mirror image of yourself.

It's 2012, brah, get with the times. Goop swabbing and pre-cum is where it's at.

I was being more nostalgic than serious.

Urgh. Women are god's punishment to men.

The most insidious thing Pandora did was keep Hope in that fucking box.

 

[damnromulans]

I highly recommend sleeping with someone who is a mirror image of yourself.

 

[viewerfromnihil]

Platonic girl friends are nice and all, but strong feelings shouldn't be thrown out to compromise for a friendship. Compromises should be saved for the insignificant things. It's not a good thing if it makes you want to walk off a building.

I realized that if I'm not careful, I will fall for this friend of mine who has a boyfriend. She's got all of the traits I like in myself, and I never want conversations with her to end and I think about her a lot. It gets to the point where I almost wish there was no chance I could have any luck with anyone else because then it could mean I'd forget about her.

Everyone else I've had feelings for was for something vapid and fleeting, be it similar problems, or similar opinions, but this girl is different. Every other girl I looked at I never wanted to look further than the here and now because I knew that after that it was probably blank; I'd get tired of them. But what scares me about this girl is I never get tired of hearing her thoughts. It's been a couple years and I still want to hear more of them. I look into the future, and whether or not we stay friends or become more, I just can't imagine getting tired of her. And I'm the kind of person who can find faults in everything.

It's the fact that I don't jump to specific traits to describe what I like about her that mesmerizes me. It's just simply her being her. Everything about her makes me happy. I never want her to suffer and I don't feel like I've ever connected with anyone like I've connected with her. She has problems, but I don't care. I don't care how painful the process of helping her would be if I were totally invested in her emotionally. I never not cared about that. I always hid myself from being affected by problems of people I care about, but for her I just had the compulsion to jump in and give it my all to help her.

What does the UM hivemind think I should do?

I did that once, then I learned my lesson. She probably knows the extent to what your feelings are, but if you've never made a move then your feelings will stay just that. Actually, the feelings will transform into shit. Is she serious with this other guy? I would suggest moving in if the break up occurs. Just remember, explaining to her how you feel will not make her feel the same for you, you'll get an "awww" at best.

 

[Zephyrus]

Platonic girl friends are nice and all, but strong feelings shouldn't be thrown out to compromise for a friendship. Compromises should be saved for the insignificant things. It's not a good thing if it makes you want to walk off a building.

That is why Plato has the guardians rule the vicious rabble. It's weakness of soul if the compromise incites a revolt of the passions.

 

[SentinelSlain]

I don't know how I'm going to keep it all together. I really wish I had that russian girl from prague with me now, living with me. If I was with her, even the anger and frustrations I have that aren't to do with women would be lessened. I could just be an unthinking person like everyone else and be happy for the sex. I can't get her here though.

 

[King Richard]

I just changed around my pictures and updated my profile a little bit. What did you change about the structure of your first message?

I stopped sending formal introductions and commenting on their profiles and just jumped right into the conversation. I read over their profile and find something interesting about it and then just ask questions and interject my own thoughts, ending them all with "-Richard" so they know my name. Damn near everyone of them respond with, "I'm soandso, nice to meet you!" and then they answer what I asked.

 

[Master_Yoda77]

That's exactly what I do. Fuck you and your good looks.

 

[Zephyrus]

Exercise and good grooming have their advantages.

 

[Vimana]

Think of her feelings about you. If they were similar, she wouldn't be with that boyfriend and with you instead. She sees you as an ideal Platonic friend and you should do as well. Deep, lasting friendships with those of the opposite sex are invaluable. Don't risk ruining a good thing.

And I know it's hard, but cut out the "she's the only one in the world" attitude. That and don't have these selfish expectation that the only woman you could ever be with is a mirror image of yourself.

Good point. I'm deciding to look elsewhere. Life's too short.

 

[SentinelSlain]

Why do most of the people with vaginas on facebook look more like this:

and less like this:

 

[Zephyrus]

Because we've since invented color photography.

 

[SentinelSlain]

We had then, actually.

 

[Vimana]

Because millions of girls don't post pictures on Facebook to please you, one insecure guy in the UK.