Males and Females

[monoxide_child]

I realized that if I'm not careful, I will fall for this friend of mine who has a boyfriend. She's got all of the traits I like in myself, and I never want conversations with her to end and I think about her a lot. It gets to the point where I almost wish there was no chance I could have any luck with anyone else because then it could mean I'd forget about her.

Everyone else I've had feelings for was for something vapid and fleeting, be it similar problems, or similar opinions, but this girl is different. Every other girl I looked at I never wanted to look further than the here and now because I knew that after that it was probably blank; I'd get tired of them. But what scares me about this girl is I never get tired of hearing her thoughts. It's been a couple years and I still want to hear more of them. I look into the future, and whether or not we stay friends or become more, I just can't imagine getting tired of her. And I'm the kind of person who can find faults in everything.

It's the fact that I don't jump to specific traits to describe what I like about her that mesmerizes me. It's just simply her being her. Everything about her makes me happy. I never want her to suffer and I don't feel like I've ever connected with anyone like I've connected with her. She has problems, but I don't care. I don't care how painful the process of helping her would be if I were totally invested in her emotionally. I never not cared about that. I always hid myself from being affected by problems of people I care about, but for her I just had the compulsion to jump in and give it my all to help her.

What does the UM hivemind think I should do?

i think maybe you're being sub-conscienciously masochistic
i think maybe you fell in love with her BECAUSE she has a boyfriend

we, as humans, want what we can't have just because can't have it

black people want to be treated equal to white people, gay people want to be treated equal to straight people, women want to be treated equal to men, and white hetero males want to walk on Mars, why do we want these things??? we want them just because we know they'll never happen, and sometimes we think a specific female is more spectacular than she really is just because she already has a boyfriend, sometimes a guy wants a girl just simply because she's unavailable

EDIT
oh, wait, nobody takes me seriously on this thread, and Vimana himself will prolly never read this post

 

[monoxide_child]

Ok, that makes sense. thanks

Do condoms totally suck and are unusable, or are they just not as fun? Like can sex with a condom still be pretty pleasurable?

when i put on a condom, i stay hard forever, which is awesome for the girl, but it's because i just simply can't orgasm while i'm wearing a condom, it just won't happen, and when i first started wearing condoms, it was actually quite painfull, i had to get used to the sensation

 

[The Ozzman]

Man, I don't know what the fuck it is, but I'm getting a lot of responses to my messages this time around on OKC. I still have quite a few girls I'm waiting for responses from, so it could be even more. I did change the structure of my first messages, so that might have something to do with it. Either way, winning.

I put something along the lines of what you did in your 'You should message me if' and things seem to be going a bit better in girls actually messaging me part, but I still don't have many messages thus far. I've only had it reactivated for a week, but still.

I might make an account on Match.com and just shell out some jew tokens for a full membership

 

[wandering_taco]

ah yes, jew tokens

 

[divine_torture]

If you can't let someone platonically close to you know that you have a significant other, why have that significant other?

Because she's a stupid slut.

COME AT ME BRO, I TRANE UFC

Fuck, I can't fight for shit. But I can look and act tough haha.

Because women are dishonest by nature, and will go at great lengths to conceal their depravity from anyone.

Sluts.

 

[Vimana]

I just realized how easy it is to get a reply back on OKC. All you really have to do is find one of the unique, defining details from someone's profile and ask them a question about it. Like, if they say they're really into music, you ask what their favorite group is, or their favorite instrument or favorite thing to hear in music.

 

[damnromulans]

Pro tip: Be physically well above average or most women won't write back even if you're clever as fuck

 

[SentinelSlain]

It's more about seeming super normal, but within one kind of group. So, have all your pictures uploaded to that hipster site that makes them yellowish, have tattoos of old pop culture stuff, to be ironic, have floppy straightened hair or be a black person.

I swear women are literally driving me insane. I just... urgh. It isn't even about sex, it's about having someone.

 

[damnromulans]

You're blaming the blacks because you're boring and have a mediocre personality again I see

 

[Onder]

You're blaming the blacks because you're boring and have a mediocre personality again I see

YOU'RE A WOMAN!!

EVERYBODY RUN!

 

[Zephyrus]

If platitude makes beatitude, I do profess faith in the efficacy of "being yourself." Everything on my page, including my pictures, is an honest presentation of who I am and what I like. It may not attract as many people, but the people it does attract are the ones I'd rather associate with, and I've had some very pleasant conversations on that site, though not yet has anything panned out into physical/real-life contact. And I feel better about myself when I'm not trying to force anything. I message the women whom I genuinely find attractive both physically and personality-wise (e.g. likes ancient history and Doctor Who and an unabashed nerd).

 

[monoxide_child]

if you're on a dating site and you lie
eventually people are going to notice that you're lying and then get pissed at you

 

[SentinelSlain]

you're boring and have a mediocre personality

What would be positive steps towards not being boring out of this selection of things I *would* do:

get into grass track motorsport or rallying

buy a motorcycle

learn guitar properly

get a good (£50000+) job

wear more stylish clothes

go to fucking yoga

wear hats

become involved with some left of centre green organisation

become involved with some right of centre defence organisation

get pretty good at drawing / art and have some cool blog or something of stuff and get women interested in being drawn like one of my French [Czech] girls.

I'm a little worried I'm sounding like Monoxide in this post, but oh well.

 

[monoxide_child]

if you want a girl that reads the same books as you, go meet a girl in a bookstore, if you want to meet a girl that's a juggallette, go flirt with girls at the gathering of the juggalos, if you want a girl that's into anime, go meet girls at A-Kon or Anime-Fest, or just meet girls on facebook where the girl already knows your interests from your facebook wall before she even starts talking to you

did anybody take my advice??
no, nobody pays attention to me when i give advice on this thread

 

[divine_torture]

Pro tip: Be physically well above average or most women won't write back even if you're clever as fuck

I'm pretty fucking gorgeous, and it does help. HA!

 

[Satanstoenail]

8 months single and I haven't even thought about dating websites or actively trying to pick up women. I think my last relationship may have turned me off ever wanting to be in one again.

 

[Psychonaut]

Same boat, dude. 12 year relationship went down in flames and I'm just happy not to have someone up my ass constantly.

 

[Vimana]

Pro tip: Be physically well above average or most women won't write back even if you're clever as fuck

That goes for both genders, honestly. I don't think I'm attractive, but I only have my own perspective. What does it mean when a girl initiates conversation? Does she really want the dick or what? I've had a few girls initiate conversation with me, but my social skills were so bad I devolved it into nonversation quite quickly.

 

[Zephyrus]

I view it all as some kind of game and I'm slowly acclimating to it. There are degrees of interest. The highest is when the girl messages you first. Next best is when you message and she replies, then asks a question, as intending the prolong the conversation.

Once she starts giving replies that don't end in or contain questions, you've probably lost her. And if she replies to a first message without asking a question in turn, it's a toss-up.

Sadly, in terms of mathematical probability, there is an inverse relationship between the eagerness of girls' replies and their attractiveness. In fact, that system is already figured out for you in the first place where it shows you her reply frequency. Green light = fat, yellow light = average, green light equals actually attractive.

Forgive me if this is all obvious, I tend to think with my fingers.

Cliffs: The medium is the message.

 

[Vimana]

I don't see the relationship that way. I've had attractive girls very enthusiastic and interested in their messages (which I didn't realize until now when I re-read them) and unattractive girls very bored.