Males and Females

I don't know why I'm wasting my time with this again but I guess it would be nice to blow off some steam.

As I mentioned earlier in the thread, me and my ex decided to be friends with benefits. I went to see her about a month ago and it went great. We didn't fight and we had a pretty good time with each other. After I left, a couple of weeks passed and we kept a healthy distance. However, at some point she started saying that she still had feelings for me and it eventually got to the point where she was saying she was still in love with me. I felt good about it since I still felt the same way and told her I also still had feelings for her. Some time passed and we got along fine until one morning when she told me that her guy friend was coming to the city she lives in. She phrased it like "he's coming but my friend will be with me so I won't feel awkward when I turn him down haha."

The two held contact with each other throughout our relationship. I'm not exactly sure how much but he was stationed overseas and would talk to her over Facebook since they were "good friends". Both of them are English majors and I once caught her exchanging poetry between him via Facebook when we were dating, something I didn't take too kindly to at the time. To top it all off, the two have hooked up in the past. I always slightly suspected the possibility that the two did or still do have feelings for each other but I hadn't thought too much into it until now.

After telling me that he was coming, I was not happy and went off on her about it. She insisted that they were just friends and that he was coming to her city to see his friends and catch up with her on the side. I believed her at first but then I started to feel angry at the possibility that he was in fact coming there to see her, regardless of whether or not the feelings were mutual. He was, after all, JUST coming back from being out of the country. Why would he so coincidentally want to see friends up in that specific city first thing? I expressed this to her and she started to become increasingly frustrated with me. I eventually brought up our relationship and said something along the lines of "you shouldn't keep talking to someone you've had sex with in the past when you're in a serious relationship" and proceeded to tell her that it didn't matter for us anymore but it was still inappropriate for her to do that. She completely misconstrued that, claimed I was being controlling, and blocked me on all communication mediums once again.

I'm glad to be done with her. This guy making a grandiose VIP appearance was going to be the last straw for me anyway. I am, however, curious to know if she was lying to me in the first place and intended on moving on to this guy by subtly bringing it up to see how I'd react. What do you guys think?
 
Sounds like it could go either way, but I'm guessing she at the very least had thought about this guy as a possibirity. That's how it sounds to me anyway.
 
ObscureInfinity said:
I don't know why I'm wasting my time with this again but I guess it would be nice to blow off some steam.

As I mentioned earlier in the thread, me and my ex decided to be friends with benefits. I went to see her about a month ago and it went great. We didn't fight and we had a pretty good time with each other. After I left, a couple of weeks passed and we kept a healthy distance. However, at some point she started saying that she still had feelings for me and it eventually got to the point where she was saying she was still in love with me. I felt good about it since I still felt the same way and told her I also still had feelings for her. Some time passed and we got along fine until one morning when she told me that her guy friend was coming to the city she lives in. She phrased it like "he's coming but my friend will be with me so I won't feel awkward when I turn him down haha."

The two held contact with each other throughout our relationship. I'm not exactly sure how much but he was stationed overseas and would talk to her over Facebook since they were "good friends". Both of them are English majors and I once caught her exchanging poetry between him via Facebook when we were dating, something I didn't take too kindly to at the time. To top it all off, the two have hooked up in the past. I always slightly suspected the possibility that the two did or still do have feelings for each other but I hadn't thought too much into it until now.

After telling me that he was coming, I was not happy and went off on her about it. She insisted that they were just friends and that he was coming to her city to see his friends and catch up with her on the side. I believed her at first but then I started to feel angry at the possibility that he was in fact coming there to see her, regardless of whether or not the feelings were mutual. He was, after all, JUST coming back from being out of the country. Why would he so coincidentally want to see friends up in that specific city first thing? I expressed this to her and she started to become increasingly frustrated with me. I eventually brought up our relationship and said something along the lines of "you shouldn't keep talking to someone you've had sex with in the past when you're in a serious relationship" and proceeded to tell her that it didn't matter for us anymore but it was still inappropriate for her to do that. She completely misconstrued that, claimed I was being controlling, and blocked me on all communication mediums once again.

I'm glad to be done with her. This guy making a grandiose VIP appearance was going to be the last straw for me anyway. I am, however, curious to know if she was lying to me in the first place and intended on moving on to this guy by subtly bringing it up to see how I'd react. What do you guys think?
Click to expand...

So basically you were a whiny bitch about her meeting some friend. Good job.
 
Yeah, jealousy out of control. You need to date a super needy insecure woman who will have tunnel vision for you.

PP's dad is in the hospital with pneumonia and possible heart failure from a lifetime of smoking and poor diet. He has liver disease so the drugs he can take to treat those things are limited. My dad never smoked but is like 60 lbs overweight and lies in bed all day. I wish they'd all just pull it together.
 
Did I mention that she proudly threw it in my face that this guy wanted to bang her when mentioning that he was coming to see her? This is a guy friend of hers I know personally, has had sex with her in the past, is a flirt, and generally has more in common with my ex than I do. She talks to him all the time (during and after our relationship), sends letters to him, etc. He made it clear that he was jealous when me and her were together and now seems to be seizing the opportunity when we're apart.

Am I not justified in being jealous here?

Re-reading everything I just wrote in my first post yeah, I guess I was a little out of control. Jealousy is like a trance.
 
I am so freaking lonely and the only way I'm gonna get any feeling of being a proper person back is if I get with some really beautiful woman.
 
ObscureInfinity said:
Did I mention that she proudly threw it in my face that this guy wanted to bang her when mentioning that he was coming to see her? This is a guy friend of hers I know personally, has had sex with her in the past, is a flirt, and generally has more in common with my ex than I do. She talks to him all the time (during and after our relationship), sends letters to him, etc. He made it clear that he was jealous when me and her were together and now seems to be seizing the opportunity when we're apart.

Am I not justified in being jealous here?

Re-reading everything I just wrote in my first post yeah, I guess I was a little out of control. Jealousy is like a trance.
Click to expand...

Your feelings are valid, she obviously likes the attention and probably sent him pictures of her boobs your whole relationship
 
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