Males and Females

[monoxide_child]

if it's a girl who's sleeping outside, or in a homeless shelter, you can take her to a cheap motel room that you've rented for one night, she'll have sex with you just so she can be in a motel room for a night

this ^^^ was actually how i started having sex with the girl that i was making out with last thursday

 

[The Ozzman]

Oh yeah? I started hitting up girls in the Cincy area since I'm heading that way to hang out with Mike. I already have a date lined up. Suck it.

Unless she stands you up!

 

[crimsonfloyd]

Dude, she was conspiring with your dick to ruin you! Didn't you finish the trilogy!? hhaha

Haha, no I quit after the second one. The second one kinda sucked.

Nobody is trying to ruin anyone. You're being way too cynical.

 

[damnromulans]

I just spent about 5 debaucherous days with German girl. Had shitloads of fun. I went and met her at the bar she works at on Friday night and spent the next however many days drinking and hanging and fucking and going out and seeing bands and laughing and wrestling and giving each other shit. She also likes metal and just good music in general and introduced me to lots of good stuff I haven't heard. She has a great sense of humour and after I drunkenly professed my undying love for her at some point she proceeded to give me shit about it regularly for the rest of the time we hung out. I'm pretty much sure that nothing serious can or will come of this as she's most definitely a 'free spirit' but I'm just trying to have as much fun as I can with her while she's around.

Sigh. :Spin:

Germans are dicks. I had something similar with a German dude (in Germany though, not my home country) and went back to Germany like 3 times to hang out with him. Very expensive.

MP called me to wish me a happy birthday on Monday. He seems to be doing well and we obviously didn't talk about FEELINGS or anything, but it was nice to hear from him.

I also got a birthday text from that Army dude I went on dates with a bit in fall/winter 2011. He got back from Afghanistan in one piece in October. Peace of mind.

 

[Onder]

I feel like fucking some girly butt. Sorry that I don't have any ancient rome analogy to that, I just want to find some butt and molest it. What about New Year's Eve? When I'm back in Prague.

 

[damnromulans]

Do you like buttsex Onder?

 

[Onder]

Do you like buttsex Onder?

I wouldn't have my butt penetrated by anyone else than a doctor (at work).

 

[damnromulans]

But I mean do you like to penetrate others' butts?

 

[Onder]

But I mean do you like to penetrate others' butts?

Sure.

 

[CF87]

MP called me to wish me a happy birthday on Monday. He seems to be doing well and we obviously didn't talk about FEELINGS or anything, but it was nice to hear from him.

Suck his Dick.

 

[The Butt]

So I did it. I blocked the ex.

Am I supposed to feel this shitty about it?

 

[King Richard]

So I did it. I blocked the ex.

Am I supposed to feel this shitty about it?

No, congratulations. Be strong and move on.

 

[monoxide_child]

No, congratulations. Be strong and move on.

.

 

[PhlegethonVeins]

So I did it. I blocked the ex.

Am I supposed to feel this shitty about it?

She is your ex. Period.

 

[monoxide_child]

spent about an our this morning making out with the chick that is horrible in bed

i tried to talk to her about our sex life, but i still haven't been able to flat-out-tell-her that she's bad in bed, which is getting awkward because she keeps telling me how spectacularly awesome i am in bed, i can't convince her to do woman-on-top, and she's oldschool when it comes to sex, she only wants penis-in-vagina sex

her phone went a long time without having any minutes on it
she planned on getting more minutes today but i'm not sure if she made it out there because she hasn't texted me

i've been doing a lot of stuff she doesn't know about
she doesn't ever ask where i'm going or where i've been

i don't really think i could convince her to do anal, she won't even do cowgirl or doggie style

What a fucking idiot she is. She actually thinks that anything but traditional missionary sex makes her a whore?

i was making out with this^^^ girl all day thursday of last week and also all day today

she doesn't have any minutes on her phone right now, and i don't even have a phone right now, so our relationship has gotten kinda weird, i'm dating her when i see her, but i'm not seeing her every day, she's still employed and i'm making out with other girls while she's at work, today she bout me lunch at Subway, we sat down inside to eat, so this was the first time i've sat down in a resturaunt/fast-food place to eat with a girl that's seen my dick since the crazy photographer girl that was taking pictures of my dick, or to look at it another way, this was the first time i sat down in a resturaunt/fast-food place to eat with a girl that was having sex with me since the girl that was responsible for putting me in county jail for six months

EDIT
this horrible-in-bed girl is in the bathroom right now and after this computer session ends in 10 min, i'm gonna be making out with her again

 

[Onder]

i was making out with this^^^ girl all day thursday of last week and also all day today

she doesn't have any minutes on her phone right now, and i don't even have a phone right now, so our relationship has gotten kinda weird, i'm dating her when i see her, but i'm not seeing her every day, she's still employed and i'm making out with other girls while she's at work, today she bout me lunch at Subway, we sat down inside to eat, so this was the first time i've sat down in a resturaunt/fast-food place to eat with a girl that's seen my dick since the crazy photographer girl that was taking pictures of my dick, or to look at it another way, this was the first time i sat down in a resturaunt/fast-food place to eat with a girl that was having sex with me since the girl that was responsible for putting me in county jail for six months

EDIT
this horrible-in-bed girl is in the bathroom right now and after this computer session ends in 10 min, i'm gonna be making out with her again

What the fucking shit of a cunt.

 

[Jimmy... Dead.]

 

[Dak]

Stereotyping wins again!

 

[Onder]

Boring chick update. And first I have to say that I'm doing this solely for my own amusement and not because I'm into her. I hope it can cheer you up too (or make you vomit). I for one laughed a little. So I was at the bar drinking my fourth beer and decided to text her to see what's up. Her message: "I was with another friend and I was kissed AGAIN! Who asks for that? I will have enough kisses for the rest of my life. Now I'm going to another friend's place with a bottle of wine."

I was reading this to one of my more sensitive friends and he had to rest his head on the bar for a minute. So I got an idea. You know I enjoy studying lesser forms of life. It's sort of a fetish and I never had a subject this attractive. I was provoking her a little and I had to assure her that I didn't have any trauma from her negative reaction to my french-styled romance. (!!!).

I now messaged her on Facebook to see if she's available for NYE (I thought that was nearly impossible as all the chicks have plans two months in advance). She responded: "I'm not going anywhere. I don't need to see drunk people".



What is the proceeding for maximal amusement?

 

[Onder]

I'm texting with her and this is basically sadism on myself. I have to take breaks after every message. So apparently she's in a shitty mood since christmas day and it doesn't have a reason and that's what scares her the most. I hate this kind of whining.

ONE PUNCH TO YOUR FUCKING FACE AND ONE TO YOUR FUCKING VAGOO YOU CUNT.

EDIT: Shit it reminded me of Jeremy's "downward spiral" except explained by a human